Yesterday I was swapping stories with an English cinematographer when I realized the tale I was part way into telling required explaining I had been a missionary. The story would make little sense without that information, and if I left it out the followup questions would lead back around to me needing to reveal it anyway. Years ago I pledged to myself I wouldn't hide my former Mormon life. So I just continued the story. "I was a Mormon missionary at the time and..." No big deal. No drama. He didn't mock me or suddenly walk away.

Despite my anxiety, I've never been mistreated by nevermos when I reveal my past. If I don't treat it like a big deal, they don't either. Maybe it helps that I roll my eyes when I say, "I was raised a Mormon."

I'm the same way now too. I just say it and chuckle at the absurdity.

On those rare occasions when I'm asked about my religious affiliation, I say that I spent most of my life as a very devout Mormon, but I have been a born-again agnostic for several years.

It no longer bothers me to tell people I used to be a Mormon. It was what I was born into. It wasn't like there was much say if you were a child with Mormon parents.

I'm actually proud of my Mormon pioneer heritage. I love learning about my family tree. There are good and bad apples on it, similar to other family trees. Still, it's a part of my history.

I've never hid it...and when I mention it, expletives are usually uttered.

I've never hidden it. I like having "a past."

Coincidentally today I was meeting casually with some clients. One mentioned she was going to a wedding and seemed excited about it. I said, "I never go to weddings." She said, "Oh but they are so much fun. I can't wait for this one. And it's family."

I said, "Oh I've only been to Mormon weddings." Not knowing where that would go, but, they laughed hard and said, "Oh," knowingly---almost in unison.

No need to be ashamed unless you still are one. :)

I actually never considered this. I have routinely tried to avoid the topic out of embarrassment. Not having to worry about that is one more step toward real freedom.

Sincere thanks for a truly helpful new idea.

Tell someone you're formon and chances are they'll say ME TOO, or want to know more. Wait, there's more. You can't put toothpaste back in the tube.

M@t

When it comes out, people will often ask how I learned to speak French.

"Well," I say, "I took four years of it in high school, but I really learned it when I spent two years in France going door to door trying to sell mormonism to the irreligious French. Can you imagine that? ME as a mormon missionary??!!"

Loud laughter from all parties invariably follows. And it's all good. :)

I used to try to hide it too. Embarrassment.

Then I realized most people don't know anything about mormonism, so I was projecting my feelings onto other people.

Then I further realized that most people have an embarrassing religious past. I'm not special.

Then I even further realized that being secretive or embarrassed just diminishes my humanity. I didn't choose it, I was born into it. And further more, it goes back in my family to 1850!!! How can you hide that for gods sake? And furthermore my resume says "utah" in various ways alllllll over it, so there literally is no possible way to hide it. To try just makes me look stupid

So I'm at peace with it. It's my "heritage". Lots of people have a unique heritage. The tricky part is knowing how to talk about it with others. Sometimes people have wierd ideas about polygamy, for example, and might think I am a polygamist. But most people don't think anything about mormonism and really don't care much

I don't try to hide that I was ever a Mormon, but that behavior also has its downside. I sat next to a guy in the Costco food court who struck up a conversation with me and it turned out that he was currently a bishop in the Mormon Church. As we talked about our backgrounds (having both lived in Utah) he asked me about my religious affiliation and I replied "ex-mormon". That led to a very uncomfortable discussion between the two of us as it was obvious that we were on totally different plains of thought and I had no interest in really sharing anything personal with this obnoxious ass. I thought afterwards that maybe it is better in situations like this to say something like I really don't discuss my religious beliefs with strangers.

I often say that I peddled religious propaganda for two years -- and then laugh as I explain that I've grown up a lot since then.

I really appreciate reading the responses in this thread. I have usually avoided admitting any connection to Mormonism but it does make it awkward when talking about people, places and activities of the past.

From now on I plan to adopt the same approach as many of you and just tell it like it is. I am proud of my Mormon Pioneer Heritage, and like it or not, who I am was formed in part by my early church experiences.

When it comes up, I simply report the fact that I was born into Mormonism and I did not get to choose my ancestors. The elder relations I knew had some good qualities, but mormonism came with it. I *did* get to choose to give up their crazy religion. Unfortunately, it took me 32 years.

I wish I would have done so sooner. I of course can not get my wasted life back - the 'scouting' era, seminary, the abysmal mission, institute, elders quorum presidency, on and on and on. At least 4 years and several tens of thousands of dollars are down the drain in my precious, short life simply because I was born into the family that I was.

That was the hand I was dealt. Things are infinitely better since giving the cult up, but I don't hide, prevaricate or deny my ancestry. It formed some of who I am.