Posted by:
knotheadusc
(
)
Date: August 02, 2018 02:14AM
Thanks, summer. My husband and I truly are partners. It has been a source of shame for me to be the "overeducated housewife" I am. I've heard a lot of crap from people, even those who should be more understanding about this lifestyle.
My dad, for instance, was a career Air Force officer. My mom stayed home for most of the time he was in uniform and raised four kids. She did earn some money as a church organist and working at part time jobs. After he retired, they opened their own business, which was supplemented by his retirement pay and, occasionally, her church music money. Before he got dementia and eventually died, he'd hassle me about how I was spending my time. When my husband went to Iraq, he called me up and asked me why I didn't get a job, even though we were going to be moving within the next six months. I told him how I spent my time was none of his business. That response shocked him, but he did finally stop harassing me about my work status.
The truth is, I have done my fill of waiting tables, working retail, and temping. The whole reason I went to grad school was so I could stop doing those kinds of jobs. Although many military spouses find themselves in situations where they can work remotely, that's not necessarily a given. A lot of them do end up working in bursts.
Like I said, I have done freelance writing and have sung at weddings and made my own money that way, but I trained to be a public health social worker, which would typically require state licensure and the ability to stay in one place for awhile. When I started that program, I figured I was going to stay single. That's not what happened. I met my husband online within weeks of my starting my program and his separation from his ex wife and re-entry into Army life. He was literally there for me the whole time I was in school, and he has had occasion to directly benefit from the education I received. For instance, the counseling skills I learned in school have come in handy, especially since my husband has security clearances that would be at risk if he ever saw a therapist. No, I don't give him therapy, but I do have some idea of how to give constructive insight and perspective that helps him figure out how to help himself. The finance skills I learned in my public health administration program have helped us fix our financial situation.
I'm glad my original prediction that I would stay single isn't what came to pass, because I wouldn't trade my life with my husband for anything. I adore him, and believe me, he knows it. I will always be grateful that he is kind, unselfish, and sees me as his partner instead of a burden.
It really is disheartening to me when I read posts on RfM, seemingly written by embittered men who have been "taken in" by women who simply care about their money and nothing else. I don't think that's the norm. I'd certainly hope it wasn't. When I married my husband, he was BROKE and I knew that was likely how he would stay, at least until his children were grown. I stuck with him and did my best to make the situation better. I think I succeeded. So yes, I will claim this accomplishment, but I certainly give just as much credit to my husband, who has been by my side the whole time and likely will be until one of us dies.
I may not have set the career world on fire, but I did choose a wonderful mate, and I am very grateful to him. <3
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2018 02:19AM by knotheadusc.