Heads down, be meek, and keep sweet...ugh

https://thetransformedwife.com/men-prefer-debt-free-virgins-without-tattoos/

http://deadstate.org/christian-minister-debt-ridden-tattooed-college-educated-women-are-destined-to-die-alone/


As an unmarried woman, I am an incomplete person in the eyes of Jesus Christ. I am well into my child-bearing years, and yet marriage remains very much out of my grasp. The fears that I will die alone keep me up at night. What can I do to remedy this?

According to Christian minister Lori Alexander, I made my lonely bed a long time ago.

She writes:

Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church.

…

There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.

…

“The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.” (Sadly, most young Christian women wouldn’t listen to their husbands since they’ve not been taught to live in submission to their husbands…)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2018 07:32AM by anybody.

We all die alone. Is she supposed to kill her husband so he dies with her? ;-)

I don't get why most people want an audience. Death is not pretty. I don't think I want my kids remembering that about me.

Do you get points in heaven if you have a death audience or something?


I don't understand what is remotely attractive about being a submissive breeder.

A lot of guys don't like tattoos. For me that has nothing to do with Christianity, I just think it looks cheep. I'm not into scribbles and graffiti. There are ways to have tattoos removed, and that's fine.

As for debt, what guy is going to want to pay $60,000 for her degree that she won't even make an entry level wage at (such as family studies or sociology)? The trouble with girls getting educated is that they often conveniently abandon their careers as soon as they get kids, I've seen this time and time again. So they get these masters degree with piled on debts, for what purpose? It would have been wiser if the $60,000 was invested in rental properties or stocks, put the books away, and she went to work on a construction site making $18 an hour. Of course a "pretty" girl won't do that because she thinks she won't find an upity white collar guy working in entry level work.

And about virginity, smart guys probably don't want to deal with a lot of baby daddy drama. Because we all know her old fiance will always be in the picture if their is a kid. It's a headache.

Dude, the 1950s are over. Thank Ghawd!

Student debt is a good topic, but it applies to men just as much to women. I know of two women who were working at professional jobs and supporting their families while their husbands stayed home with their young children. One of those men is just easing back into the workforce, just as women with children often continue working, or work part time, or eventually ease back into the work force as well.

My sister-in-law was a SAHM for about 12 years. My brother was traveling a great deal at the time for his career, and someone had to be consistently at home. But she worked as a social worker (MSW, with loans) prior to that, and while her first child was very young. After she returned to work, she was an aide and later a teacher at the very fine (and very expensive) private school that both their children got to attend for free.

Marriage is a cooperative effort. Yes, husbands and wives need to get childcare figured out, but there is more than one solution. And women who are able to have good incomes can help to support their families. If their husbands are out of work or die early (as happened with my father,) or leave, the woman may end up being the sole support of the family.

"I just think it looks cheep." You mean like a bird singing? Yes. I like a tattoo of a barn swallow. Saw a really beautiful one yesterday.


You make marriage seem like a business transaction. Luckily some of us have hormones to rage and get us past that so we can marry for love, not tax deductions.

Even if a college educated woman gives up career for family, you still have a highly intelligent progressive mate to converse with and help build a life. Not a bad deal even if she comes with some debt. How many cows would a wife be worth to you anyway?

The thing about education is that it teaches you the word is spelled "cheap."

I would just suggest it’s possible there are reasons to get a college education beyond the value it can be traded for in the employment marketplace.

As a schoolteacher with an advanced degree I can think of a lot of better paying jobs I could have had with far less education.

However, having an education has transformed the way I’ve experienced my life and the world. My scope has been exponentially expanded for having been edcated. As I’m only going to live once, I want it to be the best experience possible, even if the education I got hasn’t even come close to paying for itself in my employment life in either time or money spent acquiring it.

Apparently she thinks college is where you go to get screwed, blued and tattooed. That’s not how I remember it. But then I didn’t join any frats.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2018 09:25AM by babyloncansuckit.

tramp stamp

I didn't bitch at you the first time you wrote that nonsense, but I'm bitching at you now.

Don't make me come over and beat you.

!@#@#$ tramp stamp #$@#$@%

+1

https://www.vogue.com/article/thongs-hip-bones-trend-spring-2018



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2018 06:38PM by anybody.

Well, you know what they say about opinions and ass(hat)s. Everyone's got one. Besides, I see no evidence that she is a "pastor" of anything except her own brain. A previous blog post of hers states that she attends a church with another pastor at the helm.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/05/my-happy-pastor.html

This is from a 1-star Amazon review of her book, The Power of a Transformed Wife -- "This book saved my life: I had accidentally swallowed some poison. I read this book and promptly vomited. My life was saved."

Better to die alone than turn off my brain for the sake of marriage.

Jesus Christ was unmarried and he died alone.

Come to think of it we all pretty much die alone.

I was with my husband when he died, but I didn't die with him so I suppose he died alone.

Death is a solitary business.

But there is no doubt about it, wealthy virginis, ready to submit to a husband's whims are hard to come by.

Even in Jesus's time.

Honest TBM would point out this is the EXACT reason women aren't equipped to be pastors, and the LDS faithful are perfect in their teachings of the priesthood.

But that's just my thought.

No, you are correct. Honest TBM is satire.

I don't do funerals of people who die virgins, whether they have any tattoos or not.

Those who never had sex are pathological liars.

They will be thrust down to hell.

ALL OF THEM.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k1XUmPbMzY

"Oh dear God! Not alone! Anything but ALONE!!!" wailed the introvert, sarcastically.

I think fear of being alone is a character flaw. I think being unable or unwilling to face life without someone by your side is a character flaw. Spouses, family, friends, whatever are life enhancements, not crutches, not something to complete you, not role players in your perfect life fantasy, not something to keep you from facing the reality of your self. That's just using people.

Okay, I'm only half serious about this (maybe three-quarters serious) but really, people, being alone shouldn't be a big deal.

Come to think of it, there are some religious traditions, like the Hindu Suttee, where a man's widow is burned alive, because if he dies, she must die also so he won't have to be alone.

The Hindus weren't the only ones who carried on this practice. Singlehood is looking better and better.

Lois

loislane Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...she must die also so he won't have to be alone.


Or maybe just because she was an awful person and it's a chance to get rid of her. :D

I have always heard that many widows say that outliving their husbands is the reward for having taken care of them. My mother is a text book example of someone who's live improved greatly after Dad's death even though they loved each other dearly.

I found this:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk › News › Science

And these quotes directly conflict with the Pastor Lori contention regarding single educated women:

"Since women generally have a longer lifespan than men, married women may also suffer from the effects of caregiver burden, since they often devote themselves to caring for their husband in later life."

Dr Trevisan said these factors may be behind the lower risk of depression in unmarried women. The same study also found single women experienced less anxiety than bachelors, greater job satisfaction and higher activity levels at work, and a lower risk of social isolation as they maintained stronger relationships with family or friends.

"Consistently with this picture, the higher educational level and better economic status seen among the single women in our study may well reflect a social condition that would promote a greater psychological and physical well-being,” added Dr Trevisan.

My mother was angry she wasn't going to outlive my father.

Well, sure...but a tattoo or three undoes all that good stuff!
Everybody knows that, right?

:)

I have learned to enjoy my own company and there are many times that I find having a partner to be a lot of work.

I read an Ann Landers' column back in the early years of my marriage. It talked about many women who had written to her about their spouse. One of the women said she smiled all the way home from the cemetery. One of the statements made by a woman was "He sucked the joy out of life on a daily basis." That is the motto for my ex. He does suck the joy out of life on a daily basis, although I'm not his "partner." He still does it. To my kids, not so much to myself any longer. He is basically a good person, but he can drive you over the edge. I used to go lie down on the bed when he'd get home in the evenings.

I think dagny said something above about dying alone. Both of my parents died alone. There was no bedside vigil. We weren't expecting it when it happened. We have a disabled brother and a deathbed vigil would have been difficult for him. When my parents died like that, I knew that is how I want to die. I'm very private and I don't want someone watching me die.

And no funeral for me.

I don't have any tattoos and I don't have a college degree. I had a hard time finding mormon guys to date. So I married a gay mormon. My sister has tattoos and I find them nice. I'd get one if I wasn't such a chicken. She doesn't have a college education. She has had 3 long-term relationships. Whoops, 4. Two marriages. There is NEVER a pause between men. Once she is done with a relationship, she finds a new guy pretty quick.

My sister who has a college degree has been married since 1977.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2018 02:16PM by cl2.

Don't go to college because men want a debt-free woman?

WTF? How about women? Wouldn't they want men who are not self-centered jerks? Just wondering.

You seem to care about women being autonomous units--people who make decisions according to their own desires and self interest.

WHAT a CONCEPT.

OK - not out of debt, not a virgin, have a tattoo, college degree. Somebody better tell my husband I need to die alone because he seems to want to stay with me. Go figure.

It's how you live--not how you die.

Debt free and blank canvas do not guarantee a person, male or female, is fascinating, fun, and able to interact with élan. An education goes a long way to develop character, however.


My mother was tattoo free, debt free, and an 18 year old virgin when she married. All her life she felt less than because she had no education. Finally took some classes as an adult when we got to be teenagers. The A grades she got made all the difference to her self esteem. Didn't help with the Terminal Mormonism thing much though, but I guess you can't have everything.



And, alone is not a scary word to me. Sometimes it's all I desperately want.

"Más vale sólo que mal acompañado."

--Señor Judic West, el muy bien acompañado

My mother always told me I did everything wrong.

I guess that's why I graduated from university with honors, held a government job for 30 years and have a great pension with good health insurance, deliberately freed myself from virginity well before marriage, and am very happily married.

AND I have a great tattoo!! (Once I told TBM DH I had made up my mind to get it, I told him the words I wanted, and he found the perfect font on his computer. He was there when I got inked. He never said a word against it. He knows how much it means to me.)

Old hippie, tattoed non-virgin - but DH seems to love me anyway.

El Senor Judic tiene un sabiduría formidable. Que tenga buen dia.

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Más vale sólo que mal acompañado."
>
> --Señor Judic West, el muy bien acompañado

For us non-Lamanite gringos...

Does that roughly translate as "Better to go alone than with bad company?"

:)

Pencil-thin thongs? Yuck!

I’ve never considered my college degrees my education. I just needed my paperwork. The education was long underway before college and in spite of high school, etc.

At least Mormonism never has these stupid pronouncements by out-
of-it geezers who remark on fashion trends as if they were God's
Vogue editor . . . oh wait, shoulders . . . earrings . . . facial
hair . . . skirt length . . . Sorry, my bad.

We all die alone.

There are usually no visitors allowed in the ER or intensive care sections of hospitals.

When my GA relative was rushed to the hospital with a heart attack, the first thing they did was take off his clothes, including his garments. They were Mormon doctors and LDS hospital, and, of course all hospitals do this. His wife was all distressed about this. He lost consciousness in the ER, and never woke up, but they wheeled him into another room, because he was still breathing. The family came, and his obituary said, "He died surrounded by his family."

I don't have a family large enough to "surround" me.

Use of the word "surround" calls up an image of vultures circling, yet people love to say that in obituaries.

My nephew was the first to rush to my brother's bedside, as he was dying, much quicker than the rest of us, in time to con my brother into changing his will, signing a page of tiny print that we all knew he could not read, even with glasses. My brother didn't know what he was signing, which was a blessing that he didn't know he was being conned.

No, I'd rather die alone.

My ex-Mormon aunt was dying. She hated the Mormon cult, and requested at the nurse's station and on her hospital room door, to have NO religious visitors. One cousin called the bishopric to give her a blessing. When my aunt saw the two men in suits, she became extremely agitated. She couldn't talk, so she frantically waved her arms at them, waving them away, and her eyes were wide with fear. The men would not leave, and started preaching at us, about how my aunt NEEDED their blessing, and my TBM mother started shoving them out of the room, and I ran and got a nurse, and it took all three of us to get them to leave.

No, alone is just fine.

I don't want the last emotion on this earth to be fear or guilt or embarrassment, or knowing I'm horrifying someone I love.

Have never wanted a tattoo. Don't mind them on other people, but I find them unhygienic.

Had a grad school professor ask our graduating class how many there were single and female? After a few raised their hands he told us he just wanted us to know that statistically the odds were we'd be single for the rest of our lives. Never mind he was married to a professor. That wasn't his point.

It wasn't because of the cost of a higher education men have an aversion to women with graduate degrees. They have a hard time accepting a woman whom they perceive as smart or smarter than themselves.

A woman with a bachelor's degree doesn't have the same narrowed range of choices, according again, statistically.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2018 09:25AM by Amyjo.

You may find tattoos unattractive, but hygiene is not a matter of opinion. Healed tattoos have identical skin bacteria type and amounts as untatottoed skin.

It's the healing time I wouldn't want to suffer through.

Plus, I have a phobia for needles. Another reason I would not be able to endure a tatoo. They just aren't my cup of tea.

There are some tatoos I find attractive. On other people. And then there are some that are so butt ugly you have to wonder what compels people to get them.

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There are some tatoos I find attractive. On other
> people. And then there are some that are so butt
> ugly you have to wonder what compels people to get
> them.


A rose by any other body part?
http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1996-06-02/news/1996154167_1_cher-tattoo-bob-dole

If they got their degree tattooed on them would it make them destined to die even more alone?

I feel like such a loser.

But on the plus side, at least I don’t have any tattoos!