I throw the book of Mormon away and glad I don't have it! It is boring and racist and pathetic to! I don't need to pray over a boring book like that!

Did you perform the Sacred Ordinance of Dismissal? If not, you can be assured of several attempts to return the Book of Mormon to your hands.

Before you ask, the Sacred Ordinance of Dismissal is also very secret. However, for a donation of a mere 10% of your income (net, not gross...I'm feeling generous), you may be deemed worthy of the secret.

I'll give you you the ritual for only 8.5%

Do not be deceived by my adversary, for he is deviously devaluing the ritual.

I shall show you its true and elevated value by asking 15% and the opportunity clean public toilets...Oops, I've just revealed a part of the ritual.

I'll throw in the public toilet cleaning (by you, of course) for free and show you how to obtain the necessary 451 degrees for the final part of the ritual for only 11%.

Do not be deceived by the snake oil salesman who would charge you 4% more than I will.

But what surety do you have of a quality dismissal ritual if you don't pay for it?

I don't know what the adversary hopes to gain my underbidding me, but I can assure you that the ritual is not for your benefit if you're not paying dearly for it.

For your peace of mind, I am offering that you pay 25%. Yes, yes, you could pay more. But really, it's a small book, unless you are looking to dismiss a Quad. You wouldn't want the ritual to fizzle out for want of a quid.

Oh, you need to provide your own gas and match. That way you'll truly feel invested in your investment, and know that you're getting more bang for your buck.

GregS and I will team up for a mere 35% and I'll supply the matches and propane tank. We can guarantee a spectacular, if obscure and hidden-from-public-view ritual.

That would, of course, be 35% of gross. You do have to pay to get the very best fleecing available to man.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2018 03:56PM by Lowpriest.

My son found a BOM in the hotel room that we stayed in for summer vacation. I got scolded by my nevermo wife after I made the butt wiping motion with it in front of the kids. My older son had a really good laugh... totally worth the scolding.

When I was in the process of disassociating from Mormonism, I tore up my leather bound triple combination. It just felt good and didn't harm anyone.

Generally, I'm not into destroying books. But this is one that I've read many times and I'm expressing my revulsion at the lies. I'm not for mass burning of copies of the Book of Mormon or anything like that. No people should read it, and find out how crazy it is.

I'm thinking about recycling mine.

They should be in a landfill, moldering upon the earth like dead Jaredites.

I'd have thrown my quad away - same fate as my garmies - but it has a lovely leather cover with my name engraved on it.

I dust it periodically.

Just think you got out of toilet duty.

Crazy horse Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I throw the book of Mormon away and glad I don't
> have it! It is boring and racist and pathetic to!
> I don't need to pray over a boring book like that!


That's gangsta!

Throw these rants away

The thin pages make great rolling papers for cigarettes. I worked my way through the Bible (well Genesis mainly) using that technique.