This is from Humans of New York, a mother talking about her daughter:

"She’s about to leave for college in Chicago. And it’s a little scary to send her off into the big world. But she’ll be finding her tribe. She’ll be learning about herself."

The part that struck me was, "But she'll be finding her tribe." Yes! That's how it should be. But Mormons (and some people of other religions) would say something more like, "I'm glad there are other members of our tribe there so she can remain one of us. This whole 'finding oneself' is just Lucifer leading you astray."

Thank you, great comment.

A wise so-called prophet once said "teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." If they are taught the important things, it shouldn't be scary to let them find their tribe because their core values will probably stay the same.

If they've only been taught to obey an authority figure, it could be really scary to let them out there where they might not be bombarded every day with the edicts of the authority, and are not just trying to find their tribe, but trying to figure out what their core values really are. A lot of us got really tripped up, even if just for awhile, because of that ever-so-important nuance.

What if it's a one man tribe?

It would be MUCH easier to find
Though it might take a bit longer

In my opinion, one of the most important lessons to learn as a parent is that just maybe your child isn't your tribe.

We tend to think our kids will be mini-mes with the same views.


Encouraging each child to explore and find their own path is a gift.


Don't take credit for their successes but don't take blame for their failures either.

Teach them how to think and then let them think.

Matthew 4:20 "Natural Man is a FRIEND of ( good) God"
Matthew "means" 'Friend of God'. How about THAT!

It's "NATURAL"?
Hell, I'm natural, usually.

If I CAN"T THINK FOR MYSELF,
'Act Naturally', [Buck Owens and The Buckaroos], and be Blunt,
Then I can't be good, or REAL, or an individual, or... Myself,

Naturally

M@t

P.S. If I have to be afraid of everything because it is different, who am I, and WHAT IS LOVE, and nature, and possibility?

I’m not a proponent of the “tribe” idea.

There is no one tribe for you to fit into. In this complex modern world, you will have a great variety of acquaintenances and friends. You will meet different individuals at work, school, on the bus, in your neighborhood, in other countries while you are traveling.

If I tried to group all my people together, they would probably start slugging it out, because they are so different!

In giving a young woman advice, I would tell her to marry an individual, and not a tribe. I made the mistake of marrying a Mormon, because he was a member of the Mormon tribe. I hardly knew him. He beat me, and I married another Mormon, who cheated on me. I should have married one of the two INDIVIDUALS that I was truly in kove with, but were not part of the tribe.

I would tell the young woman to avoid the tribal mentality, and find herself. Make her own path. I did that after I left the cult, and found great joy and success and goid values.

If Saucie and I ever have kids, I'm going to advise said kids to set their own pace and only get involved with people who keep up with them. They might not set the fastest pace, but they shouldn't slow whatever that pace turns out to be, just to avoid being alone.

Mazel Tov!

I've heard members of Jewish ancestry refer to themselves as being members of 'The Tribe'.

So the N.Y.mother's comment could be a Jewish mother's hope that her daughter will gain a deeper understanding of her heritage.

I hope the "tribe" she finds is the one that includes all humans.

Wow. Finding a tribe. Learning about herself. That's what she thinks higher education is about?

My dad used to mock an exmo relative's effort to "find himself" decades ago. After all, for a Mormon life's great mysteries are answered and you just have to jump through all the hoops the "Brethren" throw in your path.

But, when that certainty disappears self-discovery and finding your true tribe(s) in this world is necessary. I think we can fit into several tribes in life. I like the work I do, but I'm not into making the folks I associate with at work into people I hang out with on a social basis. (And I'm pretty sure I'd go mad working with some of the people in my social circles). And then family is an every evolving journey.

One thing that has fascinated me about my encounters with the ex-Mormon world is the capacity of so many of us to fundamentally reinvent ourselves. I saw people taking on new professions, new relationships, new activist activities, and new causes. This change in worldview can be a catalyst for so many unexpected adventures and good works.

Tribe? 2018. There are 8 billion people on the planet. Why limit yourself to one group? Why not learn to find common ground wherever you are, wherever you go?

Perhaps navigation is better than joining. Maybe customs can stop progression? Exploration is realizing there is always more to find. That's what I think nowadays anyways.

I never needed to find myself. I just needed to scrape the Mormon off.