I'm sorry, i'm in desperate need of venting. I just need to get this out of my head. Warning: this is a little raw, but I feel like being up front about my emotions/not denying what's going on is the best way.

I've always had a good track record when it came to stomach problems. I've only thrown up twice in the past 17 years, and one of those times was because of medications.

But recently, I was sick for no reason (at first, it seemed like no reason, but it's probably because I overate). It came on suddenly after feeling overstuffed and nauseous. I was in the bathroom and my family knew about it and it was humiliating as hell.

Even worse, I'd been eating very clean and healthy for months. No sugar, no oil, no fast food, no gluten, no dairy, no meat...I was doing well. And then THIS incident came along and ruined everything.

The next day, I was so upset that I spent hours researching stomach flu, acid reflux, food poisoning, everything.

Every time my family member asked how I was doing or mentioned the vomiting episode, it made me even more ashamed. I was so angry today that I took a razor blade to my arm and leg because I'm starting to think my bout of binge eating had something to do with it and I want to remind myself to never let it happen again.

But I still feel miserable....it's all I can think about today. I've lost all interest in my healthy eating plan. I don't even want to look at fruit and vegetables anymore, or eat much of anything. I'd be satisfied with one meal a day now because I'm so ashamed that my gluttony lead to embarrassment.

"Everything in moderation!"

It could be as simple as having gone so far in one direction:

> No sugar, no oil, no fast food, no gluten,
> no dairy, no meat...

While there may be people who extol this sort of extremism, it isn't 'normal', whatever 'normal' is.

From my perspective, you were starving your body of things it likes and was accustomed to and it, your body, got even.

So... "Everything in moderation", including feeling guilt!

I think you're onto something, Elder. Extremism in any form is tough to maintain.


elderolddog Wrote:
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> "Everything in moderation!"
>
> It could be as simple as having gone so far in one
> direction:
>
> > No sugar, no oil, no fast food, no gluten,
> > no dairy, no meat...
>
> While there may be people who extol this sort of
> extremism, it isn't 'normal', whatever 'normal'
> is.
>
> From my perspective, you were starving your body
> of things it likes and was accustomed to and it,
> your body, got even.
>
> So... "Everything in moderation", including
> feeling guilt!

Everyone overeats every once in a while. I remember once eating so many chocolate-covered fruits (my favorite dessert) that I got quite sick because of it.

You might want to consider counseling. It's not good that you wanted to hurt yourself. I think you need to develop more compassion for yourself. A few stomachaches in 17 years is exemplary health, not a cause for concern.

OK, anyone (in the world) who hasn't thrown up at some point, raise their hand...

What, no hands raised?

How about that. You're just like all the other humans in the world.

What's to be angry or ashamed about?

Don't forget, President George Bush tossed his cookies *on* the Prime Minister of Japan. And there wasn't even an international incident or anything. 'Cause sometimes that happens to normal human beings. And to George Bush, too. :)

The first step is knowing what you are eating.

MyFitnessPal.com It is free, very easy and will give you a good picture of what you are really eating and drinking. Eating too little is as big a problem as eating too much. Cutting and eating disorders go hand in hand to form a vicious cycle. MANY people need professional help to break that cycle. This is not just about eating or cutting, there are root issues you need to work through. Please look in your local area for groups/Doctors in your area that specialize in this area as it is a tricky thing. The worst thing to do is continue to internalize the shame cycle. THERE IS NO SHAME HERE!

The vomiting and binge eating aside, cutting is an important signal that a person needs to get some outside help.

Please Google: cutting and self-harm

A large number of returns will come up which will be of great value to you.

If you have just begun to self-harm, you need to get help for this right now.

Please do the Googling, read the returns which come up, and go from there.

If you are binging and purging (and you just didn't include all the details in your post), please Google: binging and purging. The same comments I made above about cutting also apply if binging and purging is becoming an issue in your life.

For a period of time I worked with some people who did have both of these problems (one or the other, or both), and you need to learn what is going on, and what constructive steps you can take so that your life is not negatively affected down the life.

I wish you all the best.

"No sugar, no oil, no fast food, no gluten, no dairy, no meat...I was doing well."

What else is there to eat? Everything listed above is good to eat, why else would the good lord have made it? My dinner tonight was white bread with gluten, chocolate granola with gluten, banana (that has natural sugar),

Tomorrow I plan to eat fastfood with meat, and drinking milk with cheese for breakfast and lots of potato chips deep fat fried with oil.

Believe me, you'll feel great if you eat this stuff.

anono this week Wrote:
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> ...drinking milk with cheese for breakfast...

Isn't that kind of chunky? ;-)

The cutting is what you should concentrate on getting help with. That's not healthy.

As for eating, try some chicken broth and saltines. Then, gradually add other solid meats, starches and veggies.
Cook some chicken pieces, leg, breast, thigh...boil/season, add onion and celery. Then add rice and a bag of frozen mixed veggies. Cover and simmer until the rice has absorbed all the liquid.... Easy meal with everything.

Please listen to what others here have said about cutting.

When I first read your previous post, my thought was that you had eliminated too many things at once--and many things that have proven to be healthy, like (good quality) oils.

My youngest, healthiest, most fit sister died first before the other six of us who are older and have multiple health issues. That's how life goes sometimes. No need to judge or whine about it unless it helps you feel better some way.

I agree with several comments - cutting yourself is a drastic reaction to a simple upset stomach! You most likely have an eating disorder to be this unhinged about it. Discuss this episode with your doctor and get referred to a therapist right away!

Z,unless you have Celiac's disease, you should not avoid gluten. In fact, that and your diet might be what's making you sick. Go eat a couple warm yeast rolls dripping with real butter.

GET THEE TO A DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An aquaintence had similar symptoms and didn't. he died from treatable stomach cancer.
DON'T MESS AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

z.1, will you please tell us about the diet that you were on—-why you chose that or why it was recommended to you.

The problem is not dieting, its cutting yourself. That is

emblematic of some deep personal issues. Please go and get

help and understanding for yourself.

I hope you have a doctor you trust and he or she will help you. Tell everything and ask for whatever treatment seems best. Please don't let this slide. Good luck.