Devoted Exmo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Who is the guy who originally said "Never pay > retail!"
Interesting answer, Devoted Exmo. My brother-in-law has a brother-in-law named Mahonri Moriancumer who is quite possibly the most prolific petty thief in the U.S. He has been known to steal Kool-Aid, toilet paper and toothpaste, among other things, from the homes of relatives he has visited, but his most infamous escapade was when he was caught stealing a crate of disposable douches from a big box store in Utah County. He certainly never pays retail for anything.
Devoted Exmo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It makes you wonder whether the name made the man > or the man made the name. Certainly become a > douche thief is no high aspiration!
I'm curious (only mildly, though; it's sick to speculate too much about such matters involving almost-relatives) as to the state of hygiene among femalesin his immediate family that might motivate him to risk his CES employee status for a carton of disposable douches. The guy's daughter was knocked up a couple of months after her sixteeth birthday when she thought post-coital douching with Coca-Cola was a reliable method of contraception.
Devoted Exmo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Well, maybe he was trying to break their Coca-Cola > habit. It is against the Word of Wisdom, after > all...
I have to admit that hearing what Mahonri's daughter did with Coca-Cola more or less cured me of any addiction I might ever have had to the stuff.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2018 10:13PM by scmd1.
Hey, I've heard of a lot of "work arounds" concerning the word of wisdom. One of our most beloved posters here of old (Jennyfoo) used to tell us that her mother learned from a distinguished mormon doctor that you could, in fact, do coffee enemas and it would not break the word of wisdom.
Her preference was Folgers. She'd buy it buy it in bulk because, as she and her siblings used to sing "The best part of waking up is Folgers up your b*tt"....
Did Mohonri Moiancumer ever steal tubs of Folgers?
Devoted Exmo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > Did Mohonri Moiancumer ever steal tubs of Folgers?
If he did, he would have needed to steal it from a store. None of the relatives he visited would have had Folgers in their homes.
The scenario presents a dilemma, though. Is stealing a substance that is banned by the WoW a double sin of sorts? In Mahonri's warped view, it probably isn't a sin at all, because by stealing coffee he would be preventing someone else from breaking the WoW. Then again, it's futility even to attempt to examine the workings of a mind as demented as Mahonri's is.
Around 4000 years ago, about 2000 years from the time that the Earth was created, this man, his brother Jared, and a group of people with them were led by the Lord from the Tower of Babel (which took place just a few score years after 2 penguins from Antartica, 2 termites, 2 woodpeckers, 2 coral snakes, 2 elephants, and 2 of every kind of animal + extras for flock animals like cattle were on a wooden ark for 40 days/nights under the command of Noah) to a vast promised land that nobody had inhabited since the Global Flood, this group grew into millions, and then due to their wickedness were emptied out of people up to the time that Shiz's head was removed by Coriantumr just months before Coriantumr witnessed this now-empty continent around 2600 years ago becoming inhabited exclusively by Hebrews who are the principal ancestors of the Native Americans.
What's the deal? Joseph Smith's peep stone had a glitch while he was dictating the Book of Mormon and nobody could be bothered to fill in the blank for Jared's brother? Did the original manuscript read "(insert Brother of Jared's name here)"?
What is a thinly-disguised reference to "Masonry Morgan"?
It's obvious that Joseph Smith was obsessed with the story of William Morgan, the famous whistle-blower on corrupt secret combinations and Masonic influences in upstate NY--a man who disappeared in mysterious circumstances after publishing a tell-all book around 1826. (A body was later found in the Niagara area.) Joseph Smith later actually "plurally" married William Morgan's widow, one Lucinda Morgan.
The Book of Mormon is full of psychological eruptions revealing the influence that the William Morgan story had on Joseph Smith.
Everything from corrupt judges, secret combinations and a whole slew of words that are basically Morgan with one or two letters changed: Mormon, Moron, Moronihah, willAMMORgoN, etc...
Relatedly see also Moses 5:31
"And Cain said: Truly I am Mahan [Mason], the master of this great secret, that I may murder and get gain. Wherefore Cain was called Master Mahan [Master Mason], and he gloried in his wickedness."