I've lived in both Northern and Southern Utah. Having spoken with many, many friends in LDS marriages, smoke and mirrors darling.

Smoke and mirrors.

I'm well aware true happiness does exist here, but lets be honest...it exists anywhere if you look hard enough. The difference is here you never know if someone is truly happy or just saying it.

As I get older, that is more true than ever. I am shocked at some of the stories I hear when I pull back the curtain.

Alas trust me. I've done enough research for hy own peace and well-being to understand there's no wizard behind the curtain.

I get a tad leery when people living here or describe Utah as the following:

Adding -est or 'Most' to anything in Utah.

Happiest!
Most Righteous!
Most Loved by God
Most Giving Person/Family/Couple
Cutest Baby Ever from Heaven!
Mostest Bestest Blessings!!

*Yes all the variations of incorrect grammar have been over utilized in this most happiest of places.

Sure I can hike or mountain bike or enjoy some warmth, but what good is it when the most happiest people next to at these places make you want to drown yourself in the most magnificent bodies of water!

Forgive me. Three and a half decades has now made me the 'most craziest!'

My most humble apologies for the most epic miniest rant.

Yes I just woke up to the cult. Yes I'm trying to figure a way out. Yes I am most unhappiest for believing the lies for so long.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have been happier not pulling back the curtain.

You live and you learn.

Trying to figure out a way to move out of Utah I should say.

I signed the exit document a year ago as I realized I wasted half my life in the most pretentious, most gut-wrenching lie of a religion.

I found my way out of the church.

I am aware you take your issues with you wherever you go.

However, the amount of repetitive junk I get from my 'well meaning family' have driven me to know it is time to leave.

I'm afraid, but I know it can get better.

At least I hope it gets better.

It does get better.

I hope to retire there someday. But then I read posts like yours and realize the grass isn't really greener on the other side of the pond. I just want to be closer to the familiar places and faces of my childhood. And to be buried near some of my relatives when its my time to go.

Hope that's not too tall of an order to fill.

Congrats on your leaving the cult. It is a monumental decision. You did the best you can with the information made available. It took me half of my lifetime to get to where you are now. Having been LDS is a part of my personal history, but not future. The longer you're out, the further it becomes in the rear view mirror.

:)

Not everyone who lives in Utah are Mormon.
Likewise, it is possible to be happy no matter one's religion.

There are some genuinely authentic people wherever one travels.

I try not to get triggered by anything, especially people saying they're happy.

I'm happy I'm not living in Utah.

Me too and I am in Idaho.