...what's the difference between Elvis's bloated colon and this? Did the Zoroastrians drink massive amounts of hydrocodone cough syrup? Could be, but all we can do now is admit our failings, pray the Rosar,(or similar), and ask for an intervention from Uncle Russ Nelson. Maybe Elvis has been seen in "the upper rooms" of SLC Temple at nite? Maybe Elvis' CIA/Nixon/Howard Hughes connection were real, and his death was faked; only to reappear as Wolf Blitzer or worse, Stormy Daniels?..........could be...all of it!!!

...who's to say? Signing off from the land of intrigues....

I understand this was his inspiration for the song, "I'm all chogged off"

I don't understand this.

What does Elvis's colon have to do with Zoroastrianism?

All the Zoroastrians I have ever met have seemed pretty healthy to me.

Have you seen those kits where they have tons of word magnets you can put on the fridge to make sentences or paragraphs? I think this might have had something to do with that. Random words link together on the refrigerator that is RFM.

Devoted Exmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Have you seen those kits where they have tons of
> word magnets you can put on the fridge to make
> sentences or paragraphs? I think this might have
> had something to do with that. Random words link
> together on the refrigerator that is RFM.

:D

"All the Zoroastrians I have ever met have seemed pretty healthy to me."

They probably keep their Elvis Colons clean.

I'm not sure what it is.

Or where it is.

But from what I hear, it's a "hunka hunka burnin love".

I just Googled this because we have a Zoroastrian house of worship (I don't know what the correct word is) close to us.

Zoroastrians are forbidden to eat "creeping animals," a category which includes:
gnats
locusts
lizards
cats
hyenas
mice
worms

Pork is okay.

Alcohol is fine, and often used in different ways, so long as the person drinking it does not get drunk (getting drunk IS some kind of Zoroastrian religious infraction).

Fasting is forbidden.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2018 12:49AM by Tevai.

Finally. A religion I can be in tune with. Creeping animals? No. Sherry before dinner? Yes. I'm there.

...just to be clear. This thread was thoroughly researched with the help of other RFM posters. We found that Elvis' three main passions were;

A) Cotton and/or edible panties.

B) Hycodan/Hydromet syrup (hydrocodone bitartrate) Sched.III narcotic.

C) Peanut butter w/banana sandwiches.

...I hope this help clears some of this up. Total and complete constipation would be a byproduct of this dietary regimen...hence the colonic impaction weighing in @ 40-45 lbs. at autopsy.

We assume he also ingested the panties.......pray for Elvis now.

Two years after the death of Elvis, when John Wayne died and the postmortem on his body had been completed, similar stories were published in both the general media and in the health-oriented publications.

As with Elvis, Wayne's intestinal tract became a dramatically negative example of what can happen if intestinal health is damaged by poor diet, etc., over the course of a lifetime.

...maybe, but John Wayne was not into the "goodness" of Hycodan, nor morbidly overweight at his death, I don't think. I had seen and met him many times on his yacht, the "Wild Goose." He and crew would often moor on the San Diego Customs dock to be checked in from Mexico. He would always hand out cig lighters and other swag to his boat handlers. Good guy, but didn't at all resemble Elvis in his later years...IMO.

Concerned Citizen 2.0 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...maybe, but John Wayne was not into the
> "goodness" of Hycodan, nor morbidly overweight at
> his death, I don't think. I had seen and met him
> many times on his yacht, the "Wild Goose." He and
> crew would often moor on the San Diego Customs
> dock to be checked in from Mexico. He would
> always hand out cig lighters and other swag to his
> boat handlers. Good guy, but didn't at all
> resemble Elvis in his later years...IMO.

Thank you for this, Concerned Citizen, because what I wrote was, according to Snopes, completely bogus!!

I did a Google search for: "John Wayne's colon at the time of his death" and some really good returns came up about not only John Wayne, but Elvis as well.

In the articles which appeared after John Wayne died, there were various accounts of the poundage of the impacted fecal matter in his body (40 pounds, 70 pounds, and 82 pounds in the articles I skimmed), ostensibly reported by those who did the autopsy--but John Wayne's body was never autopsied!

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/meat-your-maker-2

I remember when John Wayne died, and the subsequent news stories about "the autopsy" and "what [meaning: the impacted fecal matter] they found inside him." I read this "same" story in at least several different publications (newspaper articles, magazine articles, books--and it was discussed on at least one TV show I watched) during that general time period, and it never occurred to me that the storyline was bogus!

Do the Google search, and the returns (about Elvis, as well as John Wayne) will be surprisingly amazing to many, I think.

...are colon's and their impacted situations OK to talk about here on RFM??.........I was never clear on that. Since the thread wasn't 86'd, maybe staff could weigh in here. I really feel like I just ate a Porter House steak right now........

Concerned Citizen 2.0 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...are colon's and their impacted situations OK to
> talk about here on RFM??.........I was never clear
> on that. Since the thread wasn't 86'd, maybe
> staff could weigh in here. I really feel like I
> just ate a Porter House steak right now........

Depends on the context.

In this case, there is scant possibility that anyone would use the words in these posts for "recreational fantasizing"--and a strong possibility that the reminders in this thread to pay attention to the intestinal system in your own body (and the intestinal health of those you love) could actually save lives.

I don't know about John Wayne since I never paid any attention to him, but Elvis--due to either ignorance or arrogance--chose a lifestyle which was virtually guaranteed to result in him dying far earlier than would have otherwise been the case.

?

I could go a lifetime without contemplating Elvis' colon. Or wanting to.

As one for whom giving enemas was part of the daily job description.

...what's there to think about?

...just make sure you use the authorized preparation instructions as included in your "Mr. Coffee" machine.

"Prepare a 2 qt. blend of the finest Arabica blend grounds. Then after percolation and cooling, adjust your sitting position to accommodate.............

NO!!!!... I can't go thru with this!! Just follow the damn Mr. Coffee instructions yourself......why should we have to do it!!