I was so deeply touched by recent posts by those Exmos who found they had to cut off family or who were trying to figure out how to maintain their relationships in the face of Mormonism. I wanted to offer this.

A Zen Riddle:

"A group of people went to meet a Zen teacher while he was walking in a park. 'We want to know about Zen. Please tells us about it.' The most enthusiastic one asked.

The teacher said, “Let me tell you a story.”
“I had a small duckling. I kept it in a bottle. I fed it and kept the bottle clean and took good care of it. The duck grew and grew. One day I realized that the duck has grown too big and I cannot get it out unless I hurt it seriously or break the bottle. So now what should I do if I want to get the duck out, but I still want the bottle intact?”

People started scratching their heads and talking to each other. Time went by. Once in a while somebody would come up with a solution. Teacher would smile and show his disagreement.
After a while teacher called a small girl playing nearby and asked her the same question. “Just break the bottle.” The girl replied without hesitation.

The teacher nodded in agreement and patted her on back. He smiled at the bunch of perplexed faces in front of him and walked away.
I know what you are all thinking. You are wondering if I am suggesting the girl’s answer is the correct one. If I am, then you are ready to pound on me saying “But the teacher clearly said he does not want to break the bottle.”
The girl’s answer is perhaps not correct by definition. Yet she sees something the group of grown-ups fails to see. She sees that it is impossible."


There is more, but that is the heart of it all. Which is the heart of what so many Ex-Mormons must face. We were the duck in the bottle? The bottle being the Mormon Church in combination with our families. The only way out often is to break the family as we break the encasing of the Mormon church.


We want to keep our relationships with those Mormons we love in tact. But, as the Zen master said, "It is impossible." Hard to accept but often true.

But you can always create something new and wonderful. You can also make your own life and invite them in instead of trying to be part of theirs anymore.

Status Quo's should always be questioned. Everything needs a makeover at some point maybe?

D&D, mind if I take a screenshot of this?

Of course you may.

This is only part of the Zen riddle when I looked it up. I found it in the newspaper last night of a review of book called Your Duck is My Duck by Deborah Eisenberg which I just ordered.

It touched me as we liven a world that often feels like, "Not my duck, not my problem."

Great, on-topic post Done & Done

What if the duck doesn’t want to leave the bottle?

You leave my family out of this!



:)

Maybe it’s a little miniature duck and it’s perfect being itself swimming around in the little bottle eh!

Zen is exotic exotic is better right ? So their stories must be superiorGrand and better adventure just like that cow reaching for the next pastureland; I don’t think a random koan from a Buddhist teacher or occult take from an energy teacher or a grandmothers tale from folk magic or a religious Christian wisdom bible verse / serves anything except express cultural anthropology or psychological social group dynamics or even Darwinism natural selection or that old bio psych genetic selection research in primates not rats

Maybe the story is linked to life change in the non Christian non Mormon faith tradition or something it might even be linked to training intervention professionals so they can solve problems in ways even though there will be collateral damage.

Before one converts true believing style look at sex roles politics in Buddhist history; look at politics and actual acts of violence by ethnic tribes who happen to be steeped in Buddhism

I accept and love Buddhism I relish great comforts it’s brought but do not think a moral quandary between the philosophical rights of beings to exist posed in the zen story justified utilitarian humanistic response self justifying a personal need at any others expense nor the focus on idealization of impacting others by breaking their glass bottles for them serving your own needs your own ego right or using them to receive your projections instead of accepting them the way they want to be or leaving them alone / something about volition will consent

So I don’t think the duck in the bottle story justifies aggressive or predatory talk or actions towards those with life in the bottle and gives a free pass of conscious (x did this (hurt you) to help don’t you see; I’m a (the better New)philosophy so that’s ok that I broke your bottle )
Break your own bottle leave everyone’s around youse bottle alone. Cause less suffering as you pass through your life

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Everything needs a makeover at some point maybe?

Queer eye for the straight and narrow?
^
| synonym for gay starting with a Q.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2018 12:08PM by Elder Berry.

Haha. You mean like "EXMO Eye for the TBM?" Classes that teach you how to act like a more attractive member of society? I wanna be one of the Fab Five on that show.

This is why I am so fond of D&D.