Never before is the fact that Mormonism considers non-virgin single people somehow "broken" then in the below quote from Holland.

1. “Please, never say: ‘Who does it hurt? Why not a little freedom? I can transgress now and repent later.’ Please don’t be so foolish and so cruel,” apostle Jeffrey R. Holland said in an October 1998 talk on “personal purity.” “... You run the terrible risk of such spiritual, psychic damage that you may undermine both your longing for physical intimacy and your ability to give wholehearted devotion to a later, truer love.”

It is a huge disservice to people. Virgins are NOT better at the "ability to give wholehearted devotion to a later, truer love."

And "psychic damage that you may undermine both your longing for physical intimacy" sounds a lot like Kimball's theory that looking at porn makes you a monster.

Basically, a Mormon who commits "the sin next to murder" is a flawed Mormon who is probably psychically so damaged that they can't form intimate relationships. Great message of love.

2. "The faith ends up stressing the consequences of not being chaste more than the benefits of abstaining from sex before marriage, she said. Some Latter-day Saint instructors have taught members that if they have premarital sex, they’ll be like a broken plate or a chewed piece of gum. Leavitt said they instead should talk about chastity as a way to create stronger relationships, avoid sexually transmitted diseases and promote safety in dating."

LOL! That would require the LDS leaders to disavow Holland's theory above.

3. "Church President Spencer W. Kimball is perhaps the most modern example of talking about the positive sexual relationship between husband and wife. But even then, in October 1975, he stressed that while it’s not just for procreation, “no provision was ever made by the Lord for indiscriminate sex” in a marriage."

So Mormons are now ALL ABOUT SEX because their lawyer god didn't put in a provision?

4. “The number of messages about women’s bodies, modesty, pornography, those outnumber the other messages,” Hanks said. “And I think that’s where we get confused and forget the beautiful parts.”

Link for 1,2,3, and 4.
https://www.sltrib.com/religion/local/2018/10/01/mormons-sex-before/


The Mormon's "beautiful parts" are virginity and sexually being repressed until in middle age your give a shit button breaks and you go "wild" with your temple sealed spouse. Oh, what a dream of sexual fulfilment that is! Isn't it wonderful, marvelous?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2018 11:56AM by Elder Berry.

book. Elizabeth said that not long after she was found, she was at YW and they gave a demonstration of nailing holes in a board as the example of once you put that nail in the board, the holes will be permanently there. She was traumatized by this happening. Stupid YW's leaders.

I find it extremely insane that they told me to keep myself chaste and then they told me to experiment with my gay boyfriend up to intercourse (as I've said so many times before). You can't have it both ways.

The mixed messages they teach are so damaging. We all walked around confused about EVERYTHING.

My last roommate before we both got married was 29. She asked me what necking and petting was. And I told her I didn't know. It was question I always wondered about, too. They don't really tell you. She told me what she thought might be necking and petting and I told her she was JUST FINE.

But what a horrible load to dump on the young people in the church. How are they ever supposed to have normal relationships?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2018 12:07PM by cl2.

cl2 Wrote:
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> How are they ever supposed
> to have normal relationships?

They aren't. They marry the church to get their sex license.

I have seen a lot of vaginas.

Never been able to tell if anyone else licked or nailed or otherwise fiddled with them.

Some have had humans pass through, for real! Even those appeared lovely and happy.

No, I bear witness, va jajays are not harmed by activity, they improve with exercise ;-)

Virgins are over-rated.
I prefer partners with some experience, who know what they're doing. :)

Actually it would be Satan's Plan and Nature's Plan to be virginally sexual, reproduce as much as possible, then be sexually lobotomized by age and just provide for subsequent genetically related individuals.

No sin next to murder. No messy genealogical charts. Everyone gets to go to Kolob.

I've pointed this out before, but I think it bears repeating: It's the females who are looked down on for lack of virginity.

The males can sow their wild oats pretty much at will (or at least they used to be able to do so) and then they meet with the bishop, turn in their mission paperwork, meet with a GA, spend some months waiting, with no ecclesiastical restrictions during the wait, and then off they go to the mission field, like spring lambs to the slaughter!

Yeah, it can suck to be a woman in mormonism, if you don't marry a contender.

Female's are just damaged goods. Males are psychically damaged goods.

I've always hated these church analogies and how the church ranks sins.

I also grew tired of being told during church lessons that my family would never together forever. I had older siblings that stopped attending when I was 9. So I was reminded during primary lessons that I wouldn't see them in eternity. That was very upsetting to me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2018 01:04PM by messygoop.

Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

Are you better able to form an intimate relationship with a woman if you can take her hymen and she your power in the priesthood?

I wonder if Hyman Rickover took a lot of heat as a young man on a very similar issue?

During October, the church should change the reference to "Carved Pumpkin".

I like it.

What about a chewed cupcake, cracked plate, or a licked piece of gum?

A crack is kinda important with regards to sex methinks.

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> psychic damage that may undermine both your
> longing for physical intimacy and your ability to
> give wholehearted devotion to a later, truer
> love.”

Yeah, that psychic damage will be inflicted by the church constantly shaming you.

I don't imagine there are many single people outside slut-shaming religions who think a non-virgin partner/spouse is a problem, or that virginity is such a wonderful gift.

The "gift" of virginity reminds me of getting an awful hand knit sweater from your grandmother. It was hard and she did it out of love, but, sheesh, what are you going to do with it?

As my brother said, if you're both virgins when you marry, at least neither of you will know whether the other is bad at sex.

olderelder---- Your last line
"As my brother said, if you're both virgins when you marry, at least neither of you will know whether the other is bad at sex."

reminds me of a joke where a husband and wife were quietly watching TV and out of nowhere DW hauls off and clobbers DH on the side of the head.

DH says "What was that for?"
DW says "That's for being a lousy lover!"

After a few minutes DH hauls off and clobbers DW on the back of her head.

DW says "What was that for?"
DH says "It's for knowing the difference."

olderelder Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The "gift" of virginity reminds me of getting an
> awful hand knit sweater from your grandmother. It
> was hard and she did it out of love, but, sheesh,
> what are you going to do with it?

Such a great analogy!

In human existence, human experience is a premium we pay dearly to get. Our adolescent brains actually wait until our mid twenties to fully form and these brain maturing processes are formed from experience. It is like we were designed to let experience inform us for future adult success.

Virginity is just like that sweater. IF the human doesn't want to keep themselves blind to sexual experience in their adolescence and early adulthood they are stunting their own growth for the sake of a corporation instead of a grandmother.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2018 05:45PM by Elder Berry.

that used an analogy I had not heard before. She used a prettily wrapped gift box and then tore parts of it telling her daughters that if they were sexual at all they would be like the beat up box. Now you would not want a gift that looks like THIS would you! Today the 21-year-old daughter was the family "problem" they were on the show to fix. The parents just couldn't understand how the daughter had such poor self-esteem that she was supporting herself selling nude pics online. They just didn't understand how this could happen to THEIR daughter, she was a cheerleader!

Sigh.

The fact that she started acting out at 15, the same time they went from a big house and private schools to a shelter couldn't have played a part in the whole thing. Nooooo. It was all about the fact that the girl was now a beat-up giftbox.

Susan I/S Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It was all about the
> fact that the girl was now a beat-up giftbox.

WOW! Treating your child like an object is abuse in my opinion. And who is the "giftbox" for?

Licked cupcake, broken plate,chewed piece of gum, beat up giftbox...on and on.

What is a precious daughter after she has a husband or boyfriend really beating her up? She is married. Is she not a beat-up giftbox according to the definition? Nope. She is just another victim, statistic, number in this society of sexual purity perversity.

And the people who engage in consensual life-affirming sexual behaviors who refuse to be giftboxed are the perverts.

My mom used to recite the old saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" To which I would respond, "I'm not a cdw, and I'm not for sale."

The girl being an object, a commodity. How her sexuality doesn't belong to HER. I also was thinking about how there was no push about finding a "gift box" that was also "untouched". It is fine for guys to do as they will and I saw this played out sooo many times in LDSInc when I was a kid. The boys would drink and party with their non mormon girlfriends on Saturday night then be all ready for their church girlfriends on Sunday. Everyone knew but I never remember any of the guys getting punished. I think there was a component of this dynamic with the Travis Alexander killing. Jodi Arias just didn't understand that she would NEVER be good enough to be his mormon wife. She was good enough to have sex with six ways till Sunday but he sure didn't want to be seen with her on Sunday! He had another girlfriend for that. Jodi was just a chewed piece of gum or a poo cake. BTW, I never believed they really put poo in the cakes. They were all too cheap to waste like that. I am sure those cakes were taken home and eaten by the families.

Summer, great way to put it. I am not a cow and I am not for sale! :)

Susan I/S Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They were all too cheap to waste like
> that. I am sure those cakes were taken home and
> eaten by the families.

LOL! So true.

And Arias didn't understand how Mormonism worked. Travis probably thought she did. I've known many Mormon men who used girls when they were boys. These girls went onto become women who probably were better in bed than the women these boys eventually landed with in a temple marriage.

And so it goes. The prudes parade and the ludes charade.

You are not expected to be a virgin. You are expected to understand how things work.