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Posted by: newcomer ( )
Date: March 17, 2015 04:44PM

Original post:
Mormon idiot I know (no longer calling him a friend) started telling people at work that he's becoming grandfather again, pretty soon. (Note: five years ago he freaked out about becoming a grandfather at 46.)

Well, his 23 year old daughter and son-in-law are adopting the SIL's brother's son. The brother just abandoned the 10 year old. This stupid family is martyring themselves to look better. They're raising the (at least) three they already have in absolute poverty and now they're adding this 10 year old. I am guessing the daughter has already had her fourth child and probably fifth, but Mormon idiot caught wind of people ridiculing him behind his back at work for encouraging his daughter to have kids in poverty.

My question is: what the hell is the benefit of having such a dumb ass parent? He has his CPA and masters in accounting, has experienced economic hardship after economic hardship, had to be talked into a retirement plan that wasn't Mormon run (and didn't have those friendly hidden fees and charges put on him by his Mormon brethren) while at the same time he sits (like a dunce) watching his young daughter and son-in-law (both with no education) having child after child in poverty on his meager army salary.

What the hell is happenin?


Comments to comment from closed that. My issue isn't with adopting an abandoned child; it's a problem when the mother and father seeking to adopt are living in poverty themselves. Do you really think there are no other people in Florida that will and want to adopt this 10-year-old?

Do you, as a father, feel your 23-year-old daughter who's already raising 3 to 5 children of her own in poverty, might not be the best option?

Hell, we hear stories about the crazy cat woman living with 100 cats. I guess there are stricter pet owner expectations on this board.

Lastly, if you feel that raising a child in poverty is okay (It isn't!), I have swampland in Arizona that I'd like to sell to you.

Poverty and the Effects on Children and Parents :

Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2015 04:52PM by newcomer.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 17, 2015 08:27PM

Judgmentalism alone isn't enough to make a fair assessment of a family's situation. The fact a biological family is willing to step in and raise one of their own is admirable - even if they're poor.

It isn't a crime to be poor and have children at the same time.

Whatever the educational attainment of said grandpa is isn't really or shouldn't be a factor for whether his children adopt one of his grandchildren. So he's an educated fool?! I'm sure there's lots more where that came from.

Families trying to keep families together is the best alternative to foster care and a broken child welfare state. Many kids in foster care never get loving families or know what it's like to feel wanted.

Let's hope this child has lots of love to make up for lack of money. Money does not buy love or replace good parenting.

Many great people came up from the poorest of circumstances.

Better not to judge them because based on what you've shared isn't really adequate to say where their hearts are.

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Posted by: Elder What's-his-face ( )
Date: March 18, 2015 09:13AM

Well said, amyjo.
Being rescued by people who love you is the best thing any abandoned child can hope for.

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Posted by: newcomer ( )
Date: March 18, 2015 09:23AM

I couldn't agree more. Being rescued by parents that want to take you in and who can give you the attention you deserve is a good thing.

But that changes when the parents are over-burdened and raising many other children in poverty.

(Father is a hardcore republican who talks of big government. Would be shocked if they were doing the right thing and taking welfare to help raise the children.

Then again the ones that talk about big government are kind of like the anti-gay bigots: you must always be suspicious of them. They secretly LOVE whatever they say they hate. )

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2015 09:24AM by newcomer.

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Posted by: AmIDarkNow? ( )
Date: March 18, 2015 09:44AM

All humans have a tendency for voluntary ignorance. One grandpa can't save the family no matter his station.

I have one child that is 30 and I have decided that he can't be helped further. His mind is set that he knows everything and refuses advice. Because he is "so smart" in his mind he flounders in financial prison.

Some feel it is none of their business to tell others they cannot have children due to the poverty of the parents. And mostly they are right. But who's responsibility is it to educate young adults about the financial, emotional and environmental issues with having children? Mormons, have as many as god will send. Another Christian group also, have as many as you like. Another couple will focus on one or two or even none for that matter because there is no guilt for not having children.

You can't live others lives. Sure Grandpa could give some advice on restricting children to a reasonable number. But that ship has already sailed in this case.

I have mentioned to my two older girls that I wish I had not had so many children for the obvious reasons. One took offense, the other understood and agreed. They both have three kids.

In the end we are all just humans and that is a reality that we need to remember when judging others.

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Posted by: imaworkinonit ( )
Date: March 18, 2015 12:09PM

sitting around at home and criticizing one of my older siblings who had too many children, too fast. They were just barely getting by (with financial help from my parents). According to my parents, they were mismanaging what money they did have. They were wasting resources because it was hard to manage all of those kids, AND be careful with those resources. They had many financial and extremely serious health (emotional and physical) crises over the years.

But in the end, I don't think my parents' discussions changed a thing for my siblings. My parents had ZERO control over what happened in that home. But it did make me more determined that I would graduate from college and be fully able to support myself and never accept a dime from my parents. I also learned that my parents were very critical of people behind their backs. I learned not to share stuff with them or let them get overly involved in my life.

Sometimes it's so easy to criticize others. But when there is nothing you can do about it, just learn from their mistakes. And sometimes you don't see the bigger picture. That family raised a bunch of loving, intelligent, interesting, adventurous, well-adjusted kids. They are some of my favorite nieces and nephews. I do NOT know how they did it.

One thing I do know is that the love in that family is unconditional.

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