Once I lost my belief in God I had a real identity crisis. I didnt fit in anywhere. Everybody I knew was either super religious or atheist. I tried meeting up with the local atheist meetup group I found through Dawkins website,, but it was a bunch of cynical old white guys who couldn't accept that the word, "evil" had any meaning whatsoever. To me that seemed absurd. If the word "evil" can't be applied to Hitler and other genocidal tyrants, then what word would apply? Really realy Bad? Isnt evil a word that means, really, really bad? So why not just use the word, evil? Too many religious connotations.
Great.
Like Tyson says, what it means to be an atheist is defined by how atheists behave. If this is how they behave, I am not one of them.
Which left me without a community.
Its good to know I am not alone.
At least there are a few on this board who are like me, spiritual, but not religious and not atheist.
Its for them that I present arguments by prominent scientists and philosophers who appreciate spirituality, but dont see any need to label themselves as anything other than human beings, scientists and philosophers.

With people that have little to no interest in religion, atheism, redefining word meanings to support religious/ atheistic positions, baiting and debating missionaries, etc.

Yay! I vote for RfM, too!

Yet he seems very unhappy in this community. Perhaps he should start his own and see who shows up?

Mormonism was never my community. My friends didn't change from when i was mormon to after i left.

You are lucky

A Jewish community - non-Orthodox.

You are still brainwashed by an erroneous idea, koriwhore. The Mormons wanted us to believe that their cult was a community. Dogbloger is right, it was never a community for me, either. The

Not only that, but the Mormons wanted us to believe that their "community" was necessary for our survival, or happiness, EVEN our gaining entrance into the highest heaven! That's absurd.

Get rid of the idea that everyone in a group has to think alike! You will never find such a group, because a group is made up of individuals. There is only one koriwhore.

I have been single for 20 years, and I marvel that just two individuals can get along, and agree enough to live together. Children are different, because I love them unconditionally, and they are always growing and changing--and we expect them to be like children.

Which leads me to another solution to help you find "community": Don't expect too much of others.

Probably you're asking a rhetorical question, here, but I will answer you, anyway. I find community in my family and friends. Statistics show that the average man has only 1-2 real friends, and the average woman has 3-4. Mormons create a false image that they are all very popular--right? They are always fellowshipping, being aggressively friendly, bragging about how wonderful and influential they are--but in reality, they are a bunch of elitist, secretive, maladjusted weirdo's.

What you're searching for doesn't exist. Look around you, at who you already know, and there you will find friends. Everywhere, people are working at jobs, to make YOUR life better. So, talk to them. The grocery checker, the salesperson, the car mechanic, your mail deliverer, the guy who walks his dog to the same corner every day, are all potential friends.

My community is the same now as it was, when I was a Mormon. For example, when I needed a doctor, I went to see my old doctor, instead of calling in the Mormon elders for a blessing. My children have gone to good community schools, and had good teachers, and never went to their bishop or primary teacher to have their questions answered. When there's a fire, you call the firefighters. There are pharmacists and nurses to calm you down, when you're worried about a sick family member. You can call the police, and they will protect you. You can take a bus. You can even call Uber, and have a restaurant dinner brought to your door. A lot of these services are provided to you at no cost, and the others never will add up to as much as 10% of your gross income.

The Mormon cult "community" was worse than uleles--it was a drain on our finances and our energy and our joy. It does not need replacing in your life.

Good advice here.

Stop searching for clones of yourself.

For me, too, the last thing I would ever want to do is find another cult/religion/group to replace MORMONism. To have it gone is such a relief!

My family and I resigned many years ago, and we were shunned by all our Mormon neighbors and so-called friends. We moved on, and life was better than ever.

I was just checking my Christmas list, to get an early start. We have MORE friends to give to, than ever before! Relax, be kind, be tolerant, and your community will grow around you.

"Like Tyson says, what it means to be an atheist is defined by how atheists behave."

Does this apply as well?

Like Mike Tyson says, what it means to be a boxer is defined by how boxers behave.

I see you've packaged your same old tired argument into something that sounds just a slightly different topic....

Well, koriwhore fooled me!

There's always some newbie sucker, like me, to fall for the same old scams.

I agree it can be difficult to find community after leaving tscc, I have experienced the same thing. Leaving religion, especially one like mormonism, is often like losing your tribe. Jon Larsen from Mormon Expreasion talked about this all the time. If there is one thing religion is good at, its providing a sense of belonging somewhere. I don't see why all the vitriol, give the guy a break.

Mormonism seeks to impress upon its members that there is only one tribe worth belonging to. Of course, it's not true.

"Tribes" of all kind exist and the majority have an open door policy. Who here never found a tribe where they could relax and feel good about themselves?

I understand that it's possible that when you're just out of the church you could feel adrift in a sea of no-one-you-know, but even a total asocial creature like me finds a place to call home. For me, it was a sport (so-called), golf. I sincerely believe that if I can do it, almost anyone else can, too.

Just an Idea!! Try Universal Unitarianism

We have to make it sometimes, in fact, most of the time.

Hi koriwhore. Weren't you Muslim at one point? Their communities seem accepting and welcoming without tons of strings attached. Can you describe what spiritual practice looks like for you?

Koriwhore, isn't the search what it's all about? The quest for meaning and purpose?

Like the adage goes, "Life is a journey, not a destination." I think of having been Mormon for the first half of my life (if I live long enough hope to someday say a third of my life,) was part of a learning continuum for me.

It helped to shape and mold me into the person I became to some degree. But it doesn't get to define who I've become or where I'm at now in life.

The world is your oyster. You can still be discerning while you find what works best for you. My children and I tried out various faith groups sans Mormonism. If something felt amiss or wasn't right with the philosophy or teachings of a group, or the spirit was missing, we'd go someplace else. I refused to give up in my search for a spiritual home.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/18/2018 07:41AM by Amyjo.

I do not choose froends according to their religious beliefs or lack of beliefs. As I have said before, I know people and continue to meet new people when I show up to do volunteer work. You can also meet neighbors, friends of neighbors, etc. It's a big world with so many possibilities.
Your friends don't all have to be exmos, athiest or christian. Religion does not matter when it comes to nurturing friendships. Imo. Best wishes on your search.

koriwhore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Once I lost my belief in God...

>If this is how they behave, I am not one of them.


If you don't have a belief in god, you're an atheist.

Yes, I know -- you met some atheists you didn't agree with. So you don't want to be called one. Never mind that you've generalized the few you met in one group, and the way they behave, to all atheists -- which is patently silly. And never mind that there's no "way" atheists behave, since there aren't any behavior rules in atheism, or any doctrines, or anything of the sort, but you're going to just go ahead and pretend they all behave the same way, and that your assumption is part of being an atheist.

You'll just repeat Tyson's generalization fallacy, re-use it, and want us all to think you're *just like* Tyson. Fine. You're an atheist who doesn't want to be called one. For fallacious reasons. We get it.

You seem to have some unique beliefs. Perhaps you're a prophet, having been inspired by the God Particle, and just haven't realized it yet.

Maybe you should spearhead a new religion. Don't look for community, draw your community to you. Your people need you, they just don't know it yet.

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