Posted by:
Mother Who Knows
(
)
Date: November 14, 2018 05:19PM
Yes, it's that time of year....
Great advice on this thread. I have done all those things, in combination, and they all work!
I always take my own car. If you do that, you can avoid the lengthy blessing. Arrive breathless, due to unavoidable delays, or whatever. As for me, I like to leave early. Most of the TBM criticism and debates happen when dinner is over, and I'm just not there.
I adore the candor of children. They are usually bored at family functions, and ready to play. Often, they end up entertaining me. My in-laws had a piano in another room, and the kids loved to show off their musical talents. If the weather is nice, I like to take them outside, to run off their energy. The adults are so appreciative of having a break from the children, that they are at least civil to me. LOL, just try to have a religious discussion with little kids tossing a ball at you, or dragging you off to play with them. It's actually fun! I was always in charge of the kids' activities at our TBM family's summer reunion.
Another way of avoiding the unpleasantness, is to volunteer for kitchen duty. I would rather face a batch of dirty dishes than an extra half hour of sanctimonious, boring church talk.
Thanks, Kathleen! I do volunteer work, anonymously, anyway, and I think I'll use that as an excuse to avoid the worst Christmas party of all. I'm a bad liar, but I can make real plans in advance, on the Saturday when I think the party is, and won't have to lie.
If I could lie or act, I would probably fake an illness.
If you do go, be sure to cheer yourself back up, afterwards.
I always plan a "recovery time" after Mormon family events. For example, I can't eat gluten, so I have a favorite g-free dessert ready, for when I get home. My friendly, non-judgmental pets are waiting for me at home, and a good book, or pre-planned favorite movie.
Some say that there are two kinds of people: 1) the person who is deflated and exhausted by social contacts, and 2) the person who is energized and uplifted by social contacts. I am both-- depending on the circumstances. Sundays at church left me so exhausted and depressed, that I would have to take a nap; yet, working full time was not as tiring. Even doing heavy yard work didn't take as much energy as church did.
Mormon so-called friends thought of me as an introvert, but I am definitely energized around my children and grandchildren, the people at work, skiing, hiking, gardening, other hobbies, making dinner for my loved ones, etc. All of this--vs having Thanksgiving dinner with a bunch of dull, unhappy Mormons--brings joy.
Conclusion: it is not YOU, it is the situation. Have fun doing whatever you want to change things!