Posted by:
Mother Who knows
(
)
Date: November 29, 2018 09:09PM
I thought it was going to be some sort of "graduating" into adulthood, and taking on the responsibility of knowing "further truths" that would enhance my spiritual life. I was very sincere, in wanting to learn more about Christ and God.
I loved your descriptions of the experience! With me, it was like finally opening a beautiful old book with gilded pages and a locked cover--and finding the pages not just blank, but scribbled with nasty, childish words, like "We touched your wee-wee! We saw your boobies! The joke's on you, and we're keeping your money!"
I felt that the "new name" and the handshakes were just human silliness, and had nothing to do with knowing God or living a better life. As for learning something new--I had already practically memorized Genesis from the Bible--this was old stuff.
The all-nowing God of the Universe, the God of Science did not use such language, as "Let us go down...We will go down." God knows all, and doesn't have to ask stupid questions, such as, "Why are you hiding yourselves?"
Yeah, it was very much like a childish initiation ritual. I would looked over at my father, across the room, a tall, handsome, university professor in a baker's hat. How could such a wise, brilliant man believe this nonsense? He had not been to the temple since my oldest brother got married, and he didn't wear the Mormon underwear. He was noticeably silent, afterwards, and didn't look me in the eye. It was then I understood--he didn't believe! He was only there for my wedding, and to please my mother. It had cost him a great deal of tithing money.
My temple husband turned out to be an abuser, with a record of assault and battery. He and his family had kept it a secret, from all of us, for the 6 months that I knew him before marrying him. In my memory, I can't separate that abusive thug from the temple experience, Mormonism, polygamy, the D&C Section 132, and all the rest. I have PTSD.