Hi everyone,

My 17 year old child is a straight-A Honor Roll student with a full ride scholarship to one of the state schools starting in the 2019-2020 school year. This child is active LDS and I am an Ex-Mormon but we have a great relationship and there are things that they can relate/talk to me about that they can't talk to their VERY Mormon mother about (divorced quite a while ago).

Last week we had a very poignant discussion about their lack of passion for anything lately and their feelings of despondency and sadness. My family has a history of some mental illness (nothing too severe and highly manageable) and we talked about that at length and we both agreed that it might not be a bad idea to talk to a professional.

My child was VERY adamant that, whomever the therapist is, they do NOT want any mythology to interfere with the science of prognosis and treatment.

We're looking for a therapist in the Salt Lake/Bountiful area (or very close by) that can be male or female. The therapist can be LDS as well BUT they have to keep the mythology at home.

I'm looking to the good folks here to give me some recommendations of therapists that specialize in depression in youth/teenagers that don't let Mormonism skew real scientific treatment.

Any recommendations that you all can provide would be GREATLY appreciated!

Go to your health insurance, tell them the issue and ask them for the best youth counselor dealing in your child's issues. Believe me, they do know the best.

You might try asking your child's high school guidance counselor. They have lots of resources at their fingertips that could be helpful for your child and help link you to them. As Anon3 suggests, check out your health insurance providers. When I've needed a physician or therapist, I go down the list one by one, and use the process of elimination until I find one (or 2 or 3,) that look most promising, and then call them, inquire, and make an appointment.

Read their backgrounds when available. As for schooling, and references. Some have them. It's vastly easier to find scores of therapists in a given radius than it is physicians. The key is to find quality ones.

As for depression, Mormonism I hate to say is one of the triggers for me. Your child is being pulled between secular and Mormonism. That would be enough to tip a depression at that age IMO. So much pressure on a 17 year old to begin with, to succeed. Mormonism is fraught with perfectionism and unrealistic standards.

Best wishes you and your child find a suitable therapist for him/her. Someone with empathy who specializes in teenagers and depression for starters. Also make an appointment with your family physician or pediatrician. Depression is treatable with a combination of therapy and medication. You don't need a psychiatrist today to get a prescription. Just talking to your doctor is enough to get started on a path to finding the right combination of medicine and therapy that works for your son or daughter.

I will help you narrow down your choices, by letting you know that a Mormon therapist can backfire on you! Please don't hire a Mormon! I've been posting and reading here on RFM for about 10 years, and most ex-Mormons are against Mormon therapists.

The reason I'm so against this, is that my ex-husband's TBM niece, and, years later, my ex's TBM nephew both had Mormon therapists--2 different ones, and they weren't MD psychiatrists. Both of those kids ended up committing suicide. One left a note, indicating that much of her despair was Mormon-based. Their mother was a fanatic TBM, and their bishop father ran off with another woman and was excommunicated. The mother immediately remarried an important former Stake President MD, who beat her. These were multiple issues, with multiple layers, and both of the Mormon therapists took the stance of "preserving the testimony" of both patients.

Mormons will choose their church, every time. Please, keep your child's therapy NEUTRAL!

Ask your child if they want a man or a woman therapist. It might matter, or it might not.

Hire a Psychiatrist, an MD, if you can afford it. Given your family history, your child might have an inherited chemical imbalance, and psychiatrists are best qualified to work with drugs. I, personally, went to a psychiatrist, but he didn't need to use drugs for me. I had PTSD and anxiety.

He was the president of the Utah Psychiatric Association, which was a great recommendation. Call the Association and ask.

I was new in SLC, and I found him from 3 different sources. I asked the husband of a friend, who was a child psychiatrist. I knew he wasn't taking adult patients, so there would be no competition, and I knew he would know who was the best. One of my clients was the retired head of neurology at the University of Utah Medical Center, and I asked him, too. About this time, my cousin wrote an article about her battle with bi-polar disorder, and I called her to ask her the name of her psychiatrist. All three of these sources recommended the same person! He's deceased, unfortunately.

It's like zero-ing in on a target. Ask around, ask a lot of people, until you are directed to the right person, then make sure your child has rapport with the psychiatrist.

Definitely ask your primary care physician. Note that doctors who are members of a clinical group are obligated to recommend someone within their group. Ask at the hospital. That's how I found my OBGYN.

You can't just go around asking people, "You seem like a crazy person...who is your psychiatrist? People don't like to talk about this stuff!

From the tone of the OP it doesn't seem that the 17 year old is doing that bad? There is a lot that any parent should know about teenagers and depression, and how to structure thought processes and help kids mature into adult roles. Does the kid want to go to a shrink?

I would say before you spend $100 an hour for a therapist to say your child is normal, Try to troubleshoot this problem by yourself. Read some adolescent psychology literature, and talk about what's troubling the child. Meds aren't the solution but a way to cover what's actually the problem. get him or her exposure to some good role models that are in the media. Maybe a Dave Ramsey or Glenn Beck, kind of guy? People who are successful, busy, and happy. Get him or her associated with school activities.

Mental illness or its treatment are not a stigma.

Nor is depression. The warning signs for depression and the treatment for it are fairly systematic and telltale. Getting help is what is accepted as the norm. That includes treatment in the form of a combination of therapy and oftentimes medication to find what works for the patient.

Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is classified as a physical malady, not a spiritual disorder. Treat the malady, treat the depression.

Stop with the stigma.

And no, it isn't expensive to see a therapist if you have insurance to cover for that. It's usually just an out-of-pocket co-pay. For people without insurance there are places where they can go that charges on a sliding scale of what they earn. Sometimes it may be next to nothing for payment if they don't earn very much.

Cost shouldn't be a deterrent to getting competent mental health care.

Parenting is doing more than listening when our children ask for help. It also means taking action when they need intervention.

And as for Glenn Beck being a guidance counselor or role model? Maybe for zanies and conspiracy theorists. Not for people grounded in reality.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2019 07:45AM by Amyjo.

I can personally recommend Leia Jones at RCT Counseling in Murray. She is a good and qualified therapist who is secular, she is not mormon.
Good luck and don't hesitate to contact her. She works mostly with children