I used to suffer from SWS.

"Spontaneous Garment Wedgie Syndrome, or "SWS", is a serious affliction that negatively impacts quality of life for many, many people. Researchers have determined that it primarily affects adult members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Symptoms of SWS may include: difficulty walking, itching and scratching in embarrassing places and, occasionally, noxious odors. If you or someone you love shows signs of SWS, you should refer them to the website established by the No More Holy Wedgies Foundation. The website contains many helpful and informative articles and self-help guides, as well as a list of specialist physicians who can assist people whose SWS symptoms are particularly severe."

Online Resources:

Carinessainthecracknomore.com (Our sponsor and the manufacturer of Buttguard products)


Nomoreholywedgies.org (A non-profit organization dedicated to helping SWS sufferers around the world. Founded by Ether P. Smith, a lifelong SWS victim.)

FAQS:

Can deeply besphincterated nylon mesh be safely removed without surgery?

Can regular underwear be worn between the garment and the naked gluteus maximus without violating the sacred covenants made in the temple?

What if I cut out the area that constitutes the primary source of fabric involved in spontaneous wedgie phenomena? Will that violate my covenants?

Can the buttocks area of the garments be heavily, heavily starched to avoid the kind of bunching that most often leads to SWS?

Seriously, I thought wedgies were an artifact of the old one-piece garments with assbuttons, the kind that no one under 80 years old would think of wearing. Do they even make them any more?

I have a nightmare image in my mind of a missionary "companion," very popular with eternal contacts and other missionaries, who on Sunday nights before P-Day would strip down to G's and let his junk hang out of the overstretched fabric. I will never go anywhere near that kind of thing again.

Historischer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Seriously, I thought wedgies were an artifact of
> the old one-piece garments with assbuttons, the
> kind that no one under 80 years old would think of
> wearing. Do they even make them any more?
>

Oh, yes. Of course. Some of your most dangerous wedgies can be caused by detached bottoms. In some cases, excessively long tops can also be implicated.

A wise garment wearer should always consider hiring a professional garment consultant, since the different permutations of fabric x size x body type can have a huge impact on your personal SWS risk factors.

Take the slippery Corban and Thermax products, for example. Glutei Maximi of a certain shape and set of proportions may cause a certain in-rolling movement that steadily pushes the fabric into a tighter and tighter wedge until you essentially have the equivalent of a persistent braided nylon seine twine #18 flossing action that can result in permanent sphinctoidal impairment. Avid hikers especially should be aware of this danger.


https://store.lds.org/wcsimages/LDSCAS/products/000/FabricFeatureGuide_000.pdf

I was a BIC, a native Californian, and I had never heard of the "garment feel-up." Shortly after moving to Utah, a man in my new ward did one on me. It reminded me of getting my bra strap "snapped" in the hallways of junior high school. I pulled away, and said, "What are you doing?" The others in the group began to laugh. I didn't think it was funny, and was confused. I didn't know what it was, until a couple of years later.

I probably prevented a lot of feel-ups, because I would pull away. It just isn't wise for a single woman to allow men to put their hands on her--especially married men. I never had a woman feel me up. I always wore long sleeves and non see-through, thick material, to hide the fact that I was NOT wearing those things. I would have been mortified to have my husband see me like that--what a mood-killer!

Wally Prince--I'm still laughing!

"deeply besphincterated" BWAaa-Ha-Ha-ha-ha!

My last day at a church function. It was an outdoor pot luck.

I jumped away and screamed at the guy. He was the stake president's son. He had a reputation for grabbibg and touching women, but everyone was too afraid of his father. I wasn't even wearing garments. Some people laughed, some looked away. I was so embarrased.

Then the guy made the mistake of feeling up someones wife. Her husband grabbed the kid and slammed him against a steel beam holding up the bowery. It rang like a bell. He cursed the kid. Threatend him with a good thrashing if he ever did that again.

Some guys went to seperate them but I noticed more than one lady put her hand on their husband and tell them no.

The man and his wife left the party. After they passed me, they stopped. The man asked if I needed a ride home. I went with them and never went back to church again.

The guy

My last sentence was cut off.

The guy didn't learn his lesson. I heard another husband gave him a good beating a few months later.

Oddly no one saw a thing.

Yes, I'm old enough to say that I once wore those infamous one piece wonders (garments). Sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone especially Native Americans. I heard this joke, on my Mission, back in 1979, so it's dated:

Why are garments Indian underwear? Because they crawl up and wipe you out!

1975

Decades back. This was just one of the boundaries that did not exist in the patriarchal zoo of the MormonCult I was experiencing back then. I had decided to marry in the LDS temple because of the "glorious" promises I had fallen for and it was here that I got my first huge dose of men telling me to do this and then that plus them doing what they wanted to do, like the disgusting five points of fellowship.

I think the "garment feel up" stands as a perfect example of the lack of boundaries that exist in a patriarchal group. Men are spoon-fed that they are min-gods and women are spoon-fed that they exist to see the men and boys have their every need met BEFORE they even realize they have the need. If you, as the woman, are not comfortable or do not like what is going on, tough beans.

Society has woken up to a lot of this discrepency, but there is still land to cover. And, definitely, the MormonCult is back in the Dark Ages.

4th or 5th time. This time he was with his boyfriend and they were going to move to California. My husband was taking a leave of absence from his job (he had plenty of PTO).

I bought my kids and my niece new church clothes and we all went to church for the first time in a while. The bishop who my husband was ex. sec. to came up and put his arm around my shoulder and said it was nice to see me, but where was my husband? Well, I wasn't going to say, "He just ran off with his boyfriend." Nobody knew he was gay or that had left many times before. But I got the garment feel up that time. It was one of the last times I went to church.

1974. Living in SLC after graduating the BYU but went to a Wedding in Provo. Gay guy marrying his girl friend in the temple as usual. Rumors were already flying about me being apostate and gay. I saw a group of girls I knew huddled in the corner. One of them finally came up to me to "make conversation" and did the garment feel. She returned and reported and they all turned and looked at me in unison like Meerkats. Rather amusing.

She is now the wife of a mission president. Another in the group ended up on the church-wide RS presidency or whatever you call it. Molly Mormons to the bone.

Hahahahahahahahha that was hysterical.... I haven't worn

garments in years but it was Gawd awful. Never again.

Can't say that I've ever experienced that one. That I noticed, anyway.

What in the name of black coffee is this? I'd never heard of this before.

First time I came across the Garment check was at BYU and the women who were there to get their Mrs. Degree--nab a return missionary--would run their hand casually on your leg just above the knee to feel the bump that would be there if you were wearing garments. Garment check. They might also check other places with a quick brush of the hand. Like we didn't know what they were doing, haha.

If they were interested enough to do a garment check on you and you passed you would probably have a plate of cookies or brownies as a come on within twenty four hours. These were usually the same sisters who were reading "Fascinating Womanhood." Ah, the early seventies!

In Oz, our land-ladies boiled our nylon, one-piece union suits in an effort to get the stubborn wedgie shoe polish out.

Her efforts rarely, if ever, accomplished the job.

So, after a bit, their kettles began to play hell with our silky and costly angel chaps From Deseret Books.

Our benefactors promptly sent more and thus prolonged our discomfort down there in the Antipodes.

Thank you, Emma, the witch.