If you get to become a “god” of your own planet and make Spirit children, why the hell are you worried about being sealed to your earthly children? Since, they too should be on their own planet also making Spirit children? What is the point there? It’s all about being a family in the next life they say but you’ll be too preoccupied at that point being a “god”.

You’re overthinking it. Just pray, pay, and obey.

what's expected of you when you are raising spirit children? Do they have to be brought up, go to school, learn about relationships? Most people probably want to have a nice rest when they die, not go through all that again...

As a nevermo it never did make sense to me how you could be a family forever, yet sent to live on a separate planet. But even more.....being a goddess and eternally pregnant is not my idea of heaven. Oh, my, NO!

Yeah but if you’re walking on clouds, going barefoot is no problem.

How the heck are you gonna gather a few billion spirit children together for family home evening so that families can be together forever?

It boggles the mind when you finally figure out how absolutely stupid the whole eternal family doctrine really is. TSCC just uses it as the cash cow to get the members to part with their money. Pretty nifty scam they have going there.

So if your son has his own planet and is a God of that planet, how will father and son see each other, travel between planets?

"There are things that we don't know until we are ready"
In other words; quit asking questions that point out the absurdity of this premise.

Think of it like a giant God-chain commune in the CK. Everyone is together but has their own tent, with endless tents being created. Don't ask about refreshments and activities they will need for Family Home Evening. No body actually knows where their family starts or ends. ;-D


Honestly, the more preposterous the claim, the more people seem to eat it up. "Sounds good! God will sort it out! We don't know the details!"

Very funny - think of it like a giant God-chain commune in the
CK under tents no less.

As I am way past the age that tents have any charm, this tent thing is about as appealing as eating mouthfuls of tangy mustard, and the commune idea? Well, I'll pass on that too as I rather detest the idea of having a Jim Jones dishing out orders to me.

Hahaha. You're never going to get to the CK with an attitude like that! ;)

See, when you're drowning all your earthly children in a global flood, you'll have plenty of time to gather your heavenly downline at your holy dinner table and compare notes on the creative plagues you've all been designing.

But what threw me was Revelation -

4:6,8 "And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind… And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come."

5:13 "And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever."

7:15 "Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them."

What kind of god is so infantile and insecure that he has to receive praise nonstop 24/7? Just sits on his throne and listens to all creation tell him how super wonderful he is… f***ing idiot god. Combines the worst parts of Caligula and Stalin.

The humor doesn't stop...."See, when you're drowning all your earthly children in a global flood, you'll have plenty of time to gather your heavenly downline at your holy dinner table and compare notes on the creative plagues you've all been designing."

Quite the idea for an enticing pastime - creating plagues.

Would I be living with my in-laws or with my own family?

Like one of Kirby's columns said--since everyone won't make it to the CK, then you might be living with a lot of family members you didn't like.

Like my daughter getting married in the temple. Her 3 cousins who are like her siblings and her brother and parents were all outside the temple. They are her favorite people.

It really does blow your mind when you start thinking about what they taught us about forever families. It was the ONE THING that held me in the church as long as I was in.

Then you become a Grandgod

Let's add this to it:

Elohim is still banging away with his He only knows how many wives, so more spirit children. Are those kids being saved for his next foray into a new Genesis?

Because the only spirit children who can come to this earth are the ones who were present for the council in heaven when Elohim asked what plan to follow, with the two answers he got, resulting in the loss of 1/3 of his kids. No number assigned to tell us how many of his kids are going to go through all eternity wailing and gnashing their teeth, when they're not down here trying to lure us away ... but they can't use lures we'd be unable to resist ... And they're so dumb that if we see one and ask to shake his hand, he tries to do so, even though after 5,996 years he knows he can't!

And the stories about what happens when you die!!! Missionary work among the residents of Spirit Prison!!! Are the DLs and ZLs and <gasp!> APs?! Do you have to pay rent in Spirit Prison? Do you have to eat, poop, etc.? Are there video games? Those who liked to do evil, can they still practice their arts? Do the bad people mingle with the good people who didn't die Mormon? The people who tried to serve God, do they immediately accept what the Missionaries visiting from Paradise are offering? Do they wear clothes!!?? Is it Holy Communism? What's the official language?

It's lovely to have all the answers, especially when you don't have to prove you're correct.

“Elohim is still banging away with his He only knows how many wives, so more spirit children.”

Plus that hot Earth chick named Mary. Notice he hasn’t done it since.

Sheesh people:


There are Many mysteries that aren't important for our individual knowledge or exhalation at this moment;

those things will be revealed to us as needed in the Afterlife!

So, let me see if I understand this correctly:

--In our pre-existence, we lived a carefree, idyllic life in the presence of God. No pain, no illness, no stress, no death.

--God says, "It would be great if you all had bodies. Nothing's better than having a body...once you get past the pain, illness, stress, and unavoidable death."

--"Gee, I don't know God. We kind of like it up here the way it is now. That body thing doesn't sound real appealing. Can we at least come back here if things don't work out."

--God said reassuringly, "Of course you can come back, but you must first prove yourself worthy while in your bodies. All you have to do is obey my commands and to worship me while you are on earth. Screw up, and...well, don't screw up."

--"No problem God. We know how great things are here, and how great you are, so obeying your commands and worshiping you for a few decades on earth would be a walk in the park."

--God added, "Well, there is that matter of you losing all memories of your life here in heaven. Once on earth, you're going to have to figure out for yourselves what my commands are, or even whether I exist as you know me now."

--"So, how are we to learn of you and your commands if none of us will have any memory of you?"

--God said, "Don't worry. I'll reveal the plan to a guy I know who will tell you everything you need to know, and you'll be known as Mormons...for awhile, at least. Less than 1% of you will be born into Mormon families, but even that is not a guarantee that you will return to heaven."

--"How will we recognize this guy so that we don't miss our chance, which is already looking pretty slim."

--God said, "You won't miss him. He'll be known by all who know him as a liar and of ill-repute. You're first test will be throw away your God-given reason, and place your trust in a notorious con-man."

--"Sounds good to us! When do we get started?"

--God beamed, "Spoken like a true Mormon already."

what does it matter if the pearly gates swing or slide open? will that get your exaultation? shut up and drink ur kool aid.

think of father adam and mother eve, we all came from that point. it used to drive me nuts thinking of how that forked to what we are today lol eeeeeeewwwwww!