Lets get a discussion going...What's on tap for spring Conference this year? Surely the Lard has informed Russ of many new "revelations" er, um administrative changes that need to be implemented.

I'd like to hear your predictions....

I try to avoid thinking or hearing about the conferences. Now that I am out of the church, I don't care what changes they make. I don't remember when conferences are unless someone says something about them. I feel it is part of my recovery to ignore all of those church doings. :)

Here are some startling things that will be told to the sheeple at conference. This is so important that people travel from all over. It's so important that the church needs to broadcast it to people everywhere (eye roll!):

The church growing

The inspired prophet is a great leader

Pay tithing

In the last days only the righteous will remain. Satan is busy trying to tempt people with things like questioning, reason, science, facts and the internet

Have faith and follow what you are told to do

Women are equal in the church, the world just doesn't acknowledge it

Pay no attention to anything unfavorable from church history since it doesn't really matter

Jesus Christ is thrilled we are using his name even more now that we have dropped "Mormon" (which comes up with nasty things in Google searches)

We love our gay members and they love living like wall flowers

Religion is under attack so we must support the political leaders who are playing like they care about us

The Pope accepts us because we are on the same team against the adversary. Mormons are to respect the customs of other religions, such as dirt on foreheads or funny hats

Never has the church been so strong and received so much direction from the Lard as it grows across the land, building temples all over the world

Woof woof!

How about the Relief Society conducting sacrament meeting with the presiding bishop.

Young women can bless and pass the sacrament.

Anybody can wear dressy trousers to church.

**The church is going down anyways. Rusty might as well make changes that members want before it implodes.

Will Russ suggest that he 'inherited a mess' from his predecessors'?

kinda -sorta did regarding the use of Mormon, didn't he?

there will be Little if any mention of (such as) love for God & Neighbor;

the dilution of living a Christ-Like life is nearly @ 100%.


If mentioned at all, such the word of wisdom, honesty, stigma of SAHM, divorce, etc. will only get a slight touch of lip service, no real or practical change(s) or implementation.

If the turn Oaks loose... WATCH OUT!

For less tha 200 years god has been offended at the name mormon so Rusty said use the full long name.

For 3000 years plus the world has used the name Melchizedek when referring to the priesthood. We'll now remedy that and use the long name. The holy priesthood after the order of the son of god.

"But out of respect or reverence to the name of the Supreme Being, to avoid the too frequent repetition of his name, they, the church, in ancient days, called that priesthood after Melchizedek, or the Melchizedek Priesthood."
D&C 107:4

So why doesn't this same thing apply to Nelson's insistence on the name of the church? Guess it's just Mormon logic like the word of wisdom. No hot drinks but hot chocolate is OK but cold coffee or iced tea isn't. Don't use the word God in the name of the priesthood but it is a victory for Satan if you don't use the word Jesus Christ. Mormonism makes my head hurt.

Homosexuality will be declared a non sin, as long as both spouses are fulltithe payer, temple married, white professionals.

Marijuana will be declared a beneficial medicine, and okayed for recreational use.

White shirts will go from required to “suggestions and guidelines”

Ward meeting will reduced to one hour, with added skype sessions through the week-nationally correlated.

Car pooling will be encouraged to the one hour meeting, as one building will now be able to service 20-24 wards a week, so travel times will be significantly increased. Excess meeting houses will be sold.

All missions will become virtual missions, skyping and tweeting people. The central call center and all missions will be based out of Provo, Ut.

LDS Inc will require their membership to have spyware installed on all home computers and mobile phones.

Members will be admonished severly for not having enough children-and children will be forbidden fromwearing flip flops or denim jumpers.

LDS Inc will announce the filming of their corrected bible, BOM, D&C, and church history, directed by Steven Spielberg-to replace the Seminary program.

Members will be encouraged to purchase homes in Florida from a LdS land holding company.

Y’all are hilarious!!!!