He is trying to locate his birth parents.

We're first to second cousins through our shared DNA.

He was born in the heart of the Morridor during the same generation approximately I was. Now the key is trying to find out which of my cousins is his parent.

Because my grandparents would be his great grandparents, given the age range of his birth mother ... we're hoping to rule out by the process of elimination who it isn't so we can figure out who it is.

He needs a medical history first and foremost. I'm pretty certain he'd also like to know his roots and where he came from.

Given our family LD$ history, where he was born, it would have been a hushed LD$ placed adoption, hence the closed kind like my own where every vestige of the birth family is deliberately erased by LD$ Inc. They care not for the truth in life regarding essentials like family history.

Hopefully we'll be able to help him find some of the answers he's searching for. I've enlisted the help of another cousin who lives near where he was born and adopted. She knows other of our cousins nearby who would be around the same age as his birth mother. We're hoping someone may know something about who may have gone away secretively during that time. Or perhaps a male relative who could have gotten a girl pregnant.

I hope to be able to help him.

Congratulations! interestingly I'm from N. Utah and from a very large mormon family with numerous lines going back into the early 1850s Utah. And have an Uncle and Aunt who had a pregnancy terminated because they were still in high school. Or at least that was the rumor... (wink).

The secrets are well kept here in Utah. Anything is possible?

This adoptee and I were born in the very same city and hospital, six years apart.

I was looking at some genealogy and can place a near match of a potential birth mom that would be around the right age as his, who lived there at the time.

She babysat me when I was an infant. Now she's older with some health ailments. I sent her a message, and my cousin who's enlisted to help out lives down the street from her so she's going to ask and see if she knows who it might be (maybe it's even her?!) The million dollar question! :)

Well the match has been made.

I am very very happy to have been able to facilitate this reunion.

It wasn't a birth mom on our family tree, but a birth father.

Everyday is a new miracle waiting to happen!

❤️

I am very happy for all of your affected family, and for you, Amyjo!!

:)

Cool. Good luck.

I know. It's really pretty fantastic that the DNA can make a match once those results are there for the finding.

The damn LD$ adoptions are so rigged. They were all closed. His adoptive mother was pretty much like mine was about finding their birth mothers. She adamantly resisted and begged/pleaded/cried/cajoled him not to. Until she died.

Birth children are as entitled to know where they came from as anyone else, given their history is out there to find. Yet T$CC spent decades covering up what wasn't their's to begin with.

It goes to the heart of the deception of T$CC by practicing Mormons since its earliest beginnings. Corruption through and through. The adoption mill by LD$ Corp is no exception.

Amyjo Wrote:
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> Yet T$CC spent decades covering
> up what wasn't their's to begin with.

It is really good at it. They did it with their flecks of history. They do it with their member's sense of personal freedom and expression as a unique human individual. They are really good at covering up that which they claim is theirs but is not. Jesus isn't theirs and never visited The New World. Their temple rites aren't theirs. Their doctrines are freakish derivations from other sources that they claim were divinely revealed to them and on and on...

I am very happy for your newly found relative. I empathize so much with him--and with everyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.

Thanks to DNA analysis, a new, and far more beneficial, set of social attitudes is now in the process of gradually becoming the norm.

The social attitudes we are in the process of leaving behind brought enormous unnecessary pain....not just for the principals involved, but for many other family members whose putatively "innocent" status in any given situation did not prevent their being very deeply hurt.

I am very glad for your relative, and I also thank him for doing his part to improve and repair American society, because even though he almost certainly was not thinking about "repairing American society," this is what he has actually assisted in doing.

Neat insights Tevai.

I was just wondering the other day what would be the odds of meeting a DNA adoptee via the ancestry registries we find ourselves on?

It was almost like heaven was sending me a text message to get ready to meet a newfound "lost" cousin.

It seems the odds are pretty good given the increasing number of people who are getting their DNA analyzed and for various reasons, like this youngish man has done. Without the DNA, he would not be able to discover his roots of origin due to the closed adoption laws of the state where he was born in.

I'm just happy that I was placed in his path as an "earth angel" waiting in the wings to be able to assist him in finding what it was he needed to help him make his life more complete.

For him that most surely is a healing process. Adoptees suffer the most of the birth Triad (adoptee, birth parents, and adoptive parents.) They literally had no voice or say in that choice when they were given up as infants or young children.

They suffer primal wounds that never really heal. The subconscious mind never really lets them forget their birth mother, even when they are separated at birth. They never get over their loss. It's especially painful for male adoptees to have to deal with. The thought of a second rejection by their birth mother is what keeps some adoptees from reaching out to meet them because psychologically they would be overwhelmed were the birth mother to do that all over again.

My birth son called me once not long after I'd found him. It was an anonymous phone call. But I knew it was him. It was a gut wrenching, heart wrenching, primal scream he let into the phone - just so he could let me hear him cry that out one time.

Maybe it made him feel better. One can hope. (That was the only time or I'd be calling the cops.) There's a book written for adoptees called "Primal Wound," that discusses their psychological wounding in detail. Birth parents suffer also, but not as much as the adoptee does. The adoptive parents suffer probably the least. I believe based on my experience with the Mormon adoption mill that they are responsible for a great deal of the suffering that's been inflicted on both the adoptees and birth families of TSCC. I believe it was deliberate and intentional too.

The social worker who helped reunite me with my birth son told me that LDS Inc goes to great lengths to erase the birth families. 99.9% of her referrals were from LDS people for that very reason in a closed adoption state that was/is run by Mormons, even moreso during that time.

When I located my birth son with her help, his adoptive mom found out how I was able to locate him after she became outraged that I had, and shut that woman's service down. She was an unpaid volunteer who reunited birth families to help them heal.

In her own way she helped many families heal. My pseudo reunion with my birth son may have been her last owing to his adoptive mother's cruel response to our finding each other. She literally put that woman out of business. After threatening my birth son with cutting him off of any inheritance he might have coming should he double cross her by meeting me. She has some means, which was a leverage tactic she used to manipulate him with.

What kind of a witch would do something like that? That is the woman LDS Inc gave my birth son to to raise.

Now I call her Cruella Deville. Seems appropriate.

Helping this fella find his birth family who happens to be my relation is well, Tevai, in its own way healing for me.

It makes me happy to do a mitzvah. I've declared myself unofficially the "Finder of Lost Cousins" on my genealogy tree since I started poking around on it in 2011.

That's the beauty of all this wonderful research that is out there for us to find.

This one I didn't need to look for because he was looking for us! :)

So both you, and this long-lost cousin, were adopted out? How strange.

And how miraculous that DNA matching, and the internet, can open doors which were so firmly shut by 'policy'. I think its great!

I would imagine there are lots of baby adoptions in Utah since I doubt the church teaches anything about reliable methods of birth control (only abstinence, right?)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/02/2019 03:22PM by mel.

I gave up a baby for adoption as a teenager under coercion by TSCC.

I was not adopted out. Mine was handled by LD$$$, crooks extraordinaire.

The cousin who just found his birth family was handled I believe locally by the courts who were/are controlled then and most likely still are now by those who are in the cult.

I learned that my dear aunt (a favorite of mine,) had wanted to adopt this baby when he was born to her son. But the court refused to allow her to do this. She was not an unfit parent. She was married, a TBM, a fine woman. There would be no good reason today why a court would not allow a grandmother to adopt a baby under those circumstances if she were in a position to care for him or her.

TSCC ran an adoption mill during that time. It stole children from their parents. I can understand my cousin wasn't ready to be a dad, or his girlfriend. But my aunt, she would've done a fine job raising that little boy who is now a man.

I hate the cult SO SO MUCH. It has done so much damage to families and children over the years.

This young man is a dead ringer for my cousins too. We won't need to do a DNA swab to verify he belongs to them. They can if they want to. That'll be up to them. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/02/2019 04:21PM by Amyjo.

Very sorry about your baby, Amyjo.

We had a “discovery” in my extended family that has caused nothing but heartache and angst. Not all DNA discovered siblings or cousins are welcome additions.

Everyone on the planet does not want to be found.

sbg Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> We had a “discovery” in my extended family
> that has caused nothing but heartache and angst.
> Not all DNA discovered siblings or cousins are
> welcome additions.
>
> Everyone on the planet does not want to be found.

Yeah, I know this situation well.

I agree that "Everyone on the planet does not want to be found." This is a statement which is 100% accurate.

But it is only the initial, "introductory," aspect of the situation.

Once the situation has "surfaced," and from a moral/ethical perspective, does the "child" (from at least the onset of their majority, through the entire rest of their life) have any moral/ethical standing here?

THEY have to live with whatever the fallout in that family has been--often/usually without understanding of what is "wrong," but knowing full well that something IS very, very wrong--even if they are being duped and misled--by their family, and possibly family associates--every moment of their lives.

The fundamental question is: Does a child, or an adult who WAS that child, have a right to their own biology? Their own family of origin? The inner truth of who they really "are"?

Or, because of the embarrassment or whatever of those who would seek to keep "all this" hidden, do they have no right to the truth (the fundamental truth, right down to the innards of their DNA) of who they actually are?

Do they not have a right to know their TRUE biological ancestors and relations, even if the contact is minimal and perhaps happens only once?

Is this not a fundamental right of being a human being, or an adult in our larger society?

And is it moral and ethically "right" that they are being lied to, and kept in the dark, every day of their entire lives?

Shouldn't there be SOME time, SOME point in time, when it is the RIGHT of these offspring to know the truth of who they actually are?

Why do the rights of biological parents and relatives eclipse the offspring's individual rights, both in a universal sense, and also as an American citizen?

My very biased personal opinion is: Children caught up in this have a RIGHT to their own biological truth....maybe not when they are children, but certainly beginning when they reach majority. Potential embarrassment of a/some party/parties does not negate another person's rights to their own biological truth.

I had two half-brothers I would very much like to have had even just one conversation with. They have both now died, and "that conversation" will never happen.

They never knew that they had a half-sister.

I think all three of us had a right, certainly as we reached adulthood, to that information, and access (if we desired it) to each other.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/02/2019 07:43PM by Tevai.

Adoptees should have the same right as you, me, or anyone else to know where they came from assuming that information is available.

It is psychologically damaging and cruel to treat adoptees with any less dignity or respect than someone else just because they have no say at the time of birth when their rights are usurped by a greedy Mormon cult adoption mill and the parents that are sucked into it who steal children for personal and financial gain.

Yes, TSCC profited from it. The lawyers and LDSSS made its livelihood off of robbing the cradles while robbing the identities of newborns from their LDS birth families, never to be seen or heard from again if TSCC had its way.

Adoptees have reunions all the time, with or without the birth parents. If a parent has died or wishes no contact, adoptees are still free to meet and get to know their birth families and their ancestry.

Their need to know should trump anyone else's desire by the time they're grown and searching for the answers. REAL ANSWERS, like we FOUND OUT about MORMONISM.

RIGHT to KNOW is fundamental. If someone still wishes to remain private or anonymous, that is their choice, but it doesn't supplant the priority of the adoptee to know where they came from or their ROOTS. Nor their MEDICAL HISTORY.

My birth son had no information on his birth family from TSCC. He was given zilch. Not even medical when I found him. TSCC scrubbed the birth families to non-existence, including actively engaged members in the cult. They don't exist after giving up a child to the adoption mill. That was just wrong, and EVIL.

Tevai has it right in the sense that coming out and taking those steps to self-discovery not only promotes self-healing, it also helps to heal a broken system. The TSCC adoption mill was and still IS BROKEN, like the cult that stands behind it.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/03/2019 07:15AM by Amyjo.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/03/2019 02:16PM by Amyjo.

I am happy you found a new relative and hope the relationship is rewarding.

Thanks so much. I'm really happy for him and his more immediate birth family on our side. I don't know anything about his birth mother's side.

His birth dad is still alive, but it's dicey if they'll get to meet. It would be more likely he'll meet other birth family members before meeting him (complicated.) Or they might! Who knows. That will be up to them both.

Now he at least knows where to start looking for his birth mom. My cousin could remember her maiden surname. We don't know if she married, or is deceased, or even her first name. But it's a start. :)

My cousin is a bona fide earth angel. She'll help him at least to fill in the blanks because she is a storehouse of information on family history. She's like a walking encyclopedia. I don't know where she keeps all that information inside her brain but it's filed away somewhere.

She's a retired teacher, and a Daughter of the Utah Pioneers. So she is well educated. She loves her family. I know she is thrilled that he found her family, because her mama would be.

TSCC engaged for years in stripping infants of their roots and identity, and pretending that black is white and white is black.

You know it did the same with the Indian Placement Program it ran for years. Trying to strip the Native American children of their true Native American Indian identity for that of the Mormontopia version of historical fantasy. It taught the Native Americans were cursed with their dark skin for the longest time, like the curse of Cain was on the African nation.

Stripping people of their identity is what cults are about.

Mormonism specializes in it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/02/2019 09:23PM by Amyjo.

His wife sent me a message on FB yesterday thanking me for helping them find what (and who) they were looking for.

Just imagine it has taken him a LIFETIME to finally learn where he came from. It is long overdue.

My sister's adopted-out son recently found me through ancestry. We're all still feeling our way around who wants what. I would like contact, but we'll see how things go. It's a very fragile situation all around.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/03/2019 04:13PM by Heidi GWOTR.

Heidi GWOTR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My sister's adopted-out son recently found me
> through ancestry. We're all still feeling our way
> around who wants what. I would like contact, but
> we'll see how things go. It's a very fragile
> situation all around.

"Fragile" is a very good word for these kind of introductory meetings and hesitant fledgling relationships.

I totally empathize with the tenuous feelings....and I also wish I had a similar story to tell.

In my family, it didn't go down this way, and the other people (does not include me), who were involved either directly or by association, each of them died in their own unresolved versions of hurt and anger.

I wish all of you the easiest, and smoothest, beginnings possible.