Whom we haven't seen since my mother's funeral in 2000.

He being two years older than I am we never called each other "aunt" or "nephew." We felt more like cousins, perhaps even distant siblings, given his mother was my half-sister albeit nearly a generation older from myself. She was closer in age to my mom than she was to me. My mom and her were more like sisters when my mom and dad were married. I only became closer to her as a sister toward the end of her life when we began to bond more before she became terminally ill.

So my nephew, his wife, my son and I meet at a diner near their home in Murray where they've lived the past nearly four decades of their married lives. He is retiring this week from his employer and moving back to Idaho where he grew up, with his wife. They were high school sweethearts when they met and have been together since and raised their family, now grown. One of their sons is keeping their house in Salt Lake. My nephew and his wife built their dream house to retire to up north where they'll spend their golden years.

Now to the subject of Mormonism and how it relates to my nephew. He was raised a Catholic. My half-sister was LDS. He and his siblings were raised Catholic out of respect for his father's wishes and their paternal grandparents. At some point, all of the siblings crossed over and joined the Mormon church along with their mom after their parents divorce. My nephew was the only one who stayed a Catholic. As a young adult he got swept up in some missionary lessons and was converted to Mormonism, but only briefly.

He told me when he went to a priesthood meeting he called some elder on some teaching he found ludicrous to which the teacher didn't have anything to say other than to "deal with it." My nephew said "enough of this," and called foul, and walked out the door after only THREE DAYS of BEING a MORMON, LOLOL. He never went back. Out of EIGHT siblings, he was the only one to remain Catholic without regret.

Nonetheless he has made his home and livelihood in Salt Lake City. He never had a problem living there in the heartland of the Mormon capitol. He did well in his career. He owned his home, raised his family, and now owns his second home in Idaho that he's retiring to.

When his mother was dying back in 2007 and went into hospice not one of her LDS children came calling. No one came to visit or to check on her, or to pay for her care or arrange for her care. Nothing at all. Not even a phone call. Just my nephew managing it all from where he lived out of duty and love for his mother. But when she died? The Mormon children were quick to address him and point out that she have a Mormon funeral with a Mormon burial, yada yada, etc.

Where were they when she was suffering with a long term disease and in hospice as she lay dying? Nowhere to be found.

He handled her funeral with the same love and duty he did as when she was living. She's buried next to her mother in her hometown back in Idaho. He honored her the way a loving son would, without the pomp and circumstance of a "Mormon" funeral. No one else even helped him pay for it.

One of his sisters is disabled (also very LDS,) but now widowed, and would be destitute were it not for my nephew. He has made sure that she is taken care of financially, he even pre-paid for her funeral so that she'll be buried next to her husband when she passes away there in Salt Lake City when she dies, and has made sure she has someone left in charge to manage her finances now that he's leaving Utah. He has done all this on his own without any assistance from any of his Mormon siblings.

Despite all that, and his extreme goodness and kindness, he tells me that his siblings SHUN HIM because he is NOT a MORMON. Since he isn't one of their KIND, they do not accept him as GOOD enough to be with THEM in the CELESTIAL KINGDOM.

I'm thinking to myself it's just the REVERSE. Based on his love and devotion to his family, as he has been there for his (Mormon) mother and (Mormon) sister when not one of his other siblings has been, which is the better of the siblings?

He has the HEART of GOLD. If there is a heaven and if there is a God, and if there is a JUDGMENT, then he will REAP as he has SOWN. And so will they.

I feel blessed to be related to someone as GOOD and KIND as my nephew, and that my son was able to bond with him last week that wasn't over a funeral. Last time they met they were both pallbearers at my mom's funeral. My nephews sons are the same age as my son is. Nephew is the type of man any parent would be proud to own. And an aunt proud to call 'nephew.'

It saddened me to learn of the shunning by his Mormon siblings. Just because he chose to remain a Catholic as that was how he was raised and believes that over Mormonism.

Although he isn't currently practicing that either since one of his sons served in Afghanistan. They got out of going on Sundays because their son would contact them on Sundays when it was his only day to visit them by Skype. And they fell out of practice because of that. (Not belief, mind you, just practice.) They are both wonderful people. It was the first time I got to meet his wife, and I can see why he fell in love with her. They are perfect for each other. :)

It's not unusual for Catholics to fall out of practice, or to just go to church once or twice a year for Christmas and Easter. Catholicism is very relaxed about that, and less-actives are always welcome. My mom did not attend church regularly from mid-life on, but she always considered herself to be a Catholic. She attended every now and then as she wished.

Your nephew sounds like an outstanding man. It's a shame that his Mormon relatives can not appreciate him.

Thanks, Summer.

He is outstanding. I've always admired him, even as children.

He was my half-sister's firstborn. It may be sibling rivalry that his other siblings find themselves at odds with him, because he's been successful in his life, sans Mormonism.

That they would shun him albeit he has been the one to care for the ailing Mormon women/widows in their TBM family, it's really a crying shame and a damning judgment on them.

But that's how Mormonism works from within the ranks. It disowns the best when they dare to think for themselves. He is not afraid to be his own person. How can one not admire a man for standing for his convictions?

If they weren't his family I'd say it was laughable. But they are family, and that's what makes it so damn sad.

Maybe that is what was wrong with my niece at my brother's funeral. She is a RM TBM BIC her whole life. She cannot envision someone being born LDS and then leaving it. Perhaps that is why she had a chip on her shoulder. I'll never know because I didn't play into her circus, nor have any desire to.

I did get my own two cents in though when I wrote a scathing book report on Amazon which is her top critical book review to this day. It was honest, brazenly so. Maybe my honesty will cut to her core like she thought she was cutting to mine.

She is so unlike my brother. He epitomized grace and agape love. She doesn't know the meaning of either. To shun his only sister at his funeral was inexcusable. And so was having two viewings. One for his wife's family, and then one for our side. His wife was always a snob, so I think his children take after her (sadly because it reflects poorly on them.) His wife is just insecure, not out of any superiority. Just basic insecurity. I can feel sorry for her, but it doesn't excuse a lack of etiquette she's had all her life.

In that sense I relate to my nephew feeling shunned by his siblings. My brother didn't shun me, but his wife and their biological children have. (Not their adopted ones though. Their adopted children take after my brother surprisingly.) My other TBM brother has done similar with his wife and children, only he tried to steal my children when they were infants. His wife and he were infertile then so he tried to take mine away from me while I was going through a divorce. That was when I was active TBM too. If not for my family coming to my aid (my older TBM brother, my dad, an aunt and uncle in Silicon Valley all rallying to my side and ready to go to court for me if necessary,) my dad basically told my younger brother to eff off and leave me and my children alone. My kid bro thought he was clever enough he could get away with it, but he didn't. I disowned him then when my children were babies, and later after they were adults when he pulled another stunt with my grown daughter behind my back.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I forgave him the first time when he begged my forgiveness that he was immature and didn't know what he was doing. The second time. Hell no. By then I figured he knew all too well what he was doing, and is a manipulative liar (while he's been a stake mission president, among other callings, and sees himself a future GA or some high church official as he's a fanatical church zealot at the same time he's a manipulative schemer.)

He's had four children since he and his wife were infertile. Why he was still trying to estrange me from my children after they were grown is beyond me, but he was and he did with my daughter. For that I will not forgive or excuse him. He made his grave and he can lie in it. The second time I disowned him will be my last. He still sends me friend requests on Facebook, to which I ignore. He thinks everything he does deserves forgiveness. That he can be a total ass and no matter what a mess he makes of things bygones will be bygones. Not when he messes with my children. He still doesn't get what a pariah he's been; maybe he never will.