When I was a young TBM try-hard, I remember reading this passage in the D&C. It always sounded lewd and, TBH, a bit dirty to me. But I couldn't put my finger on what it really was about. Any ideas? What was Joseph...oops, I mean "God"...talking about. What are Joseph Smith's secret parts?

D&C 111:4 "And it shall come to pass in due time that I will give this city into your hands, that you shall have power over it, insomuch THAT THEY SHALL NOT DISCOVER YOUR SECRET PARTS; and its wealth pertaining to gold and silver shall be yours."

(Incidentally Joe and his buddies never got power over the city and didn't get any gold and silver in Salem. So...really helpful revelation there in the D&C. Almost as helpful as the devil handshake test in D&C 129. The things that get "canonized"...whoo boy!)

I think "secret parts" here means "hiding places" etc. No, not what you were thinking of. :)

Joe loved the Captain Cook stories. Buried treasure and loot were big with him.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
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> Joe loved the Captain Cook stories. Buried
> treasure and loot were big with him.

I think you mean Captain Kidd....

It is assumed that Horney Joseph's Myth had help with the BOM, but not the D&C. This masterpiece of perversion was Joe's doing. This is the mastermind of a con man coming through, and you can see Joe in all his sick demented glory in the D&C.

I think it's a Freudian slip, or Joe's way of stimulating conversation with the ladies, which he would spin into other conversation. For instance, his next potential wife might say, "Oh Joe, the Lord told you that we'll get Salem back..oh that is nice. What does the Lord mean my 'secret parts'?" To which Joe replies, "Well my dear sister, let me show you my secret part...see...it's true the Lord loves me and you, and tells us so in the scriptures that we must procreate."

mormonism is always into ransacking and plundering.

Joe seems to have been obsessed his whole life with secret treasure that was just out of reach.
That reaching obsession seems to have dominated his private life as well.

Didn't get the gold and silver. Didn't get the control of the city. Didn't get the power.

Because Joseph's secret parts were constantly on display everywhere, and not just in the barn, thereby jinxing the whole prophecy.

"Don't show all your cards Joseph. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Can you blame God for letting him get "offed" so the more savvy Brigham could just "get it done."

Lol...hilarious. Nope, can't blame the God father.

Sacks of flour with ground glass was one of BY’s more practical revelations.

Exactly. When you want ruthless, it's pretty hard to top Brigham.

I feel confident in the revealed word of ghawd simply being mistaken. Hey, it happens!

See, it’s just a typo, and it was supposed to read, “...and they shall not discover thy secret pants...”

I think this is an allusion to Isaiah 3:17.