So, I overheard someone say that anyone that doesn't go to the Celestial Kingdom is damned... technically.

But, that "eternal damnation" just means God's damnation. Eventually we will all enter his "rest"... or presence.

So by that logic.... eventually everyone except sons of perdition are going to reach the CK, some might be a few 1000 or 1,000,000 years later.

So by their own logic then. shouldn't mormons be way more low-key about missionary work, perfect obedience, etc.?

Or did I miss something?

In my ward the idea of progression between kingdoms was definitely denied a few times. I was taught progression within the Telestial kingdom itself is a probability, but no one there would ever enter Terrestrial glory. I faintly recall some quote from some apostle saying that the idea of progression between kingdoms is a false doctrine that used to be taught (much like the Adam-god doctrine was).

But you know, the prophets will never lead anyone astray in theology or anything. Its definitely not just made up as it went on.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2019 03:08AM by nonsequiter.

the big winners in God's game would get all the best goodies forever and ever...and to a large extent at the expense of the losers.

Eternal increase.

The guys with the biggest priesthood get all the ladies, even the ladies who were once married to little priesthood losers.

Joe tried to get a head start by sending smaller priesthood guys on missions so he could take their wives from them while they were away.

Remember the words of Matthew 25: 29-30:

29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Joe and Briggy thought this was all about boinking and banking.

Mormon doctrine can be very gelatinous when it needs to be...as in whenever someone asks a Mormon a hard question that triggers uncomfortable cognitive dissonance.

This particular edition of underground Mormon doctrine is something that usually comes up in the context of asking a Mormon about the ridiculously harsh consequences of failing to get the right answers on the "test" (otherwise known as our brief little spin at life on earth). Usually, it goes like this:

Skeptic: "But doesn't eternal damnation seem to be insanely harsh, especially considering that it is supposedly coming from a loving, caring Heavenly Father and considering that each person's life on this earth is but a tiny blip compared to all eternity? 90 to 100 years of life on this earth (and many lives are much shorter) is ridiculously brief compared to a million years and compared to eternity it's an infinitely small and insignificant nano-second of time.

Mormon [getting a headache and panic attack]: Well, let me pull some unofficial doctrine out of my butt here in order to get some relief from the dark feeling that your question is giving me.....wait [grunting as he seems to be pulling on something that his sphincter is not quite willing to give up]...grunt...grunt...here it comes, here it comes...GOT IT!! Well, according to this doctrine that I just pulled out of my butt, eternal damnation just mean's God's damnation. "Eternal" is more like a brand name more than anything else. It's like how "Black Opium" perfume doesn't really contain black opium, you know? I just have to believe that God is not some kind of sadistic tyrant who pleasures himself by torturing his children for a real eternity just because they weren't very good during the equivalent of a split second out of all eternity, so I want to say that it's all good and God will just progress different souls at different paces according to their needs. The more I think about this butt doctrine, the better it makes me feel, so it must be true! See how God made it possible for me to get this beautiful doctrine right out of my butt? That is indeed how I know that the Gospel is true! Thanks for asking that question. It made it possible for me to get personal revelation and this one is going straight into my Buttrine & Buttvenants book of personal revelation right now.

Pulling doctrine out of your butt, though isn't that easy. It takes a lifetime of apologetics. My daughter and her atheist friend asked their Mormon friends whether it wasn't sadistic of
God to give his children a test that wasn't designed for education, but was instead designed only to punish. Isn't that just cruel? What parent do that?

There was no answer. Just a well, maybe...

Kissinger once wrote that there can't be morality without enforcement. The problem for the church now is there is no enforcement. With the rising population, the rising acceptance of atheism, the dilution of Mormons in any population, even Utah County, there simply is no consequence the church can visit upon anyone for apostasy or challenging the church's claims. I've met many people either exed or who resigned because they questioned the church. That's a losing strategy for a church when being in or out makes no material difference.

The finger of God has jiggled their Jell-O and made it glow. Like Rusty's pen.

mormon church astraylogy

I’m probably going to spend a couple of eternities in the telestial kingdom until some friends chip in and buy me a Second Annoying so I can rise up and live with Jesus.

You should just pick one up now and put it in storage for later. Just imagine all the fun you can have pulling it out at an opportune time to the amazement and envy of your Telestial friends.

One of them may be bragging about how his van down by the Telestial river is so much nicer than your cardboard box under the Telestial Highway overpass.

Then you can say: "Oh, I think there's something in my pocket. What could it be? Oh, yeah...my Second Annoying. I forgot I had that. I guess I'll be going now. Can't wait to see my 50 million square foot penthouse condo in Celestial Heights, right on the beach. Enjoy your van down by the river, telly-tubby."