Ok, so when I first wrote this post it was way, waaaaay back in August (2019). To recap, my older brother who was married for 40+ years to an apparently crazy woman finally divorced her and she took him to the cleaners. His alimony payments to her are more than I make at my full-time job. I have also just found out that the amount of money my brother is currently living on (after all the bills are paid) is less than $1k /month.

After his divorce was finalized, my brother briefly dated a TBM Mexican citizen and after a whirlwind romance lasting 3 weeks they got married. She has 3 daughters and does not speak any English. My brother does not really speak Spanish so they were using Google translate to work out their conversations. I really feel that I'm not racist. I was concerned that he was rushing into this thing without really understanding who he was marrying. He barely knew her and then he prayed about it and decided to marry her.

It was such a fast courtship that my brother kept the marriage a secret from my ex-mormon younger brother and me.

Ok, my brother got married in the middle of August and I just found out today that his new wife left him two days ago. Big shock.

Actually I am a little shocked that it ended so quickly. I mean...less than 3 months into their marriage and she called it quits? My brother is seeing a lawyer this time to expedite the dissolution of his second marriage. So that’s good.

My TBM mother always took his side on this quick marriage thing and she was even planning to fly down there to visit the newlyweds for the holidays this year.

Now my TBM mother has decided to move in with her newly-singled son because even though I visit her every week, she has decided that my TBM brother will treat her better. I suppose that she saw a new opportunity and is taking it.

I’m not angry with any of them. I am a little sad because I did hope that living in my town would help crack my 78-year-old mother out of the cult. I wanted to see them both learn from their mistakes and move forward with honesty. Such ideals seem to elude them. I am probably a bit mis-guided in thinking that I could help promote the change in my family that I want them to have. Oh well....at least now my nev-mo wife will not have any reason to gripe about the time I spend with my mom. (It was my mom’s letter-writing-campaign-to-the-court that ended any chance of a relationship with my wife...so I get why my wife doesn’t want my mom around).

I’m not sure how I feel. Numb mostly.

You don’t know how to feel? Feel like a giant weight has been removed from you as you struggle to keep your emotional head above water. Old Mormons almost never “learn from their mistakes and move on”. As they struggle, they take you under with them. Swim as far away as you can. Your wife sounds quite sensible to me, maybe talk to her about it.

As for your brother...he was just thinking with the wrong head. Hopefully he still has enough blood left to use the big one and get out of his mess.

I do realize this is all my opinion and is based on sketchy details from you and I would normally keep quiet....but, this is an open forum and I guess you were asking for input by posting. Good luck.

My daughter bailed on her temple wedding 4 years ago to a guy who had 3 kids. My daughter had never been married. On his "honeymoon trip" that he had to use or lose, he met someone from Brazil on line. They also don't speak the same language, but they continued to talk and she came to the U.S. in April. The wedding was canceled in October. She also had 1 daughter, but had never been married, and obviously a convert.

So they got married in June of that same year in the temple. She got pregnant and got on a plane in August and went back to Brazil and AS HE WAS DRIVING HOME FROM THE AIRPORT, he messaged me on fb and asked about my daughter, where was she, what was she doing, was there a way he could contact her. I told him to take some time and just be by himself.

In February, she boarded a plane in Brazil and came back. They are on their 3rd child now.

To think of the money I could have taken my husband for (still can). Just not in me to do that to someone. I should have at least gone for child support, but then the courts had some say in what visitation my husband got. He was allowed to see them any time, but his boyfriend (who was a jerk) couldn't see them and I MEANT BUSINESS. My husband is glad I didn't allow that boyfriend to see the kids. But I worked 2 jobs and paid everything for my kids and myself, hung onto the house we both live in, but supposedly "I" was the one with financial problems. But we have a deal now and I am happy with the deal. I am always more than fair.

I don't think that women should hold a man hostage for the rest of their lives. Be reasonable. Be fair. This taking the man to the cleaners (or the woman) is criminal if you ask me. What about feminism? If we are going to want women's rights, then it should be in every circumstance.

I hope that your brother finds some happiness. Your mother probably is worried about your brother. Let her go watch out for him.

You can’t change someone who is 78 no matter how hard you try. Their brain is hard wired. Even when they know the truth, most people ignore it and stick with the church anyway. Even the most deluded need friends, so why not let them share the fantasy?