And it's not even Christmas yet.

'Tis the season for piling on...

I got a call inviting me to tithing settlement. For those who don't know, this is the annual shakedown where you have the "opportunity" to declare your tithe-status to the bishop. Since I am in still behind enemy lines, this will be a delicate issue. I give in every year and write a check, at least enough to keep my wife out of hot water.

One of my kids is in constant need. I love my kids but I expected them to be more self sufficient at this point in their adult lives.

My sweetheart stresses constantly because none of the kids go to church. It's exhausting. I am glad they don't go but I wish it was not such a burden for her. I can't do much more than tell her not to worry.

Three invitations just today to help unload moving trucks for new ward members this week. Three.

Didn't realize that the young men in the ward are still raising money by planting flags six times a year. We have not had kids that age for years.

The elders quorum is supposed to clean the building on Saturday.

Got a call from a guy in the EQ presidency asking how my ministering families were doing. What? He encouraged me to keep up with my home study. Would I like to teach a lesson? What? I thought you guys were supposed to have discernment.

A church friend called to see if I could help his kid design a web site for her new business.

I felt bad because the lady at Panda Express asked if I wanted to round up my bill to the next dollar as a donation to the children's hospital. No. That would simply be a bridge too far. I went back inside to apologize.

Not really her fault that she was the only person in my personal life that I had the will to stand up to. Yep, 49 cents. It's a start.

The good news for you readers at RFM is that I don't need a thing from you.

I know what you mean. It's barely the middle of November, and I'm already tired of saying:

"No, we donate and do charity work as a family."

"No, I gave at the office."

Actually, this is true--but I say it so often, that it sounds phony.

'Tis the season.

I do enjoy giving my grandchildren money to put in the bell-ringing Santa's pot, but those guys don't show up until December.

All of the charitable giving is much sweeter and more merry than being assessed in the Mormon tithing "shakedown."

I choose where my charitable dollars go (almost entirely to my students and classroom,) and have no trouble turning down other requests.

I hope that you have the resolve to turn down the endless requests from church members. I've never understood why Mormons feel obliged to help others move. If the person who is moving is very poor or elderly, and needs the help, sure. But most people are capable of moving themselves with the aid of a family member or two, or by contracting a short-haul moving service. Hiring a U-Haul or truck is not that expensive either. I've done both.

Your family deserves your time, attention, and resources. I would view any other requests with that in mind.

You deserve me time too :) Despite what we have all been taught, it is not selfish to take care of yourself and keep some time and energy for yourself.

Would you please tell that to my employer? :) But yes, that's an important point.

Same story in the UK. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/education/2019/nov/13/why-british-teachers-fleeing-overseas-international-schools

“In the UK you are constantly having to report to certain people about certain things. Here you are trusted to do what you think is best for the student.”

It's the same in the U.S. It's been escalating for classroom teachers since 2003, but the last 2-3 years it has gotten really bad. The traditional tasks of teaching -- planning and delivering lessons, assessing student work, and contacting parents, take up almost all of your workday. But now there is also an unceasing demand for testing, and for gathering, crunching, and using data. There are also endless meetings. Administrators are treating teachers like they are business people or office workers -- and that's on top of a teacher's normal duties.

Plus, class sizes are growing and now exceed 30 students in many cases. You just can't deliver a quality education to that many students, especially if those students are needy. In my district, there are also a lot of behavior issues to deal with.

All of the above has many/most experienced teachers charting a path out. It is what drove me out of the classroom and into a specialty position where I now work with small groups of students.

I've heard that administrators are complaining about teachers who are leaving the classroom, to which my (unspoken) response is, "Look at the job that you have created." No one wants to deal with it anymore, especially for what is a very modest pay over the long haul.

and nobody helped us. None of the neighbors stopped by to offer either. My "husband" has had 4 back surgeries and 2 hernia surgeries while he lived here. No help. No meals. We got 1 meal when I had a C-section for twins and they had to stay in the hospital extra days.

I had people tell me what they expected and what I was supposed to do for them since they had this problem or that, and I turned them down.

I tend to NOT turn down my family, but I have had to in the past.

It is rather ridiculous what the lds church expects. I'm so glad I don't go anymore.

It has been so long since I paid tithing, I can't remember. It was in the mid 1990s sometime.