Ask them a question, "How do you, in good conscience, continue singing praises of a pedophile no better 5han Warren Jeffs?" Makes for great Christmas Dinner conversation.
The only thing I've found that works is to give as simple and as conversation-ending a response as possible.
"I've said all I'm going to say about it." "That's not up for discussion." "Debate's long over on that issue. Change the subject." "It doesn't need any further explanation." "What's done is done." "I have made up my mind." "I'm aware of your point of view, stop bringing it up."
Change the subject. Get up and literally leave, or get off the phone. Do not reply to bait questions such as "why", "are you mad", "can't we talk?", "why are you acting like this?". Just let the silence hang. Let it totally hang. Let them feel uncomfortable. Let them throw tantrums, cry, send you mean texts or sic their flying monkeys on you, but do not answer those questions.
If feeling emotionally awkward, hurt, or offended was a lethal injury I'd be dead 10,000x over. Letting them stew because you're opting out of family dysFUNction isn't going to kill anyone. Set your boundaries and enforce them. Punish people who cross those boundaries by making them do without you. If they apologize and you want to carry on with them, make it clear that certain things are off limits and you do not give unlimited new chances.
I used to feel so guilty about doing this, and finally had to disconnect from some people permanently because they wouldn't respect my limits. I know there are people out there who view me as a bad person for doing this, but I'm okay with it now. I can be their b-word, the dragon lady of their narrative, their Maleficent. I don't care if they tell the whole world, nobody's condemnation hurts half as bad as what they did to me, and none of their good moments ever felt as good as taking myself back.
Holidays are rife with tricky moments where we're called on to capitulate and give up ourselves a little more just to keep the peace. But they're the ones who start it and they're the ones who won't keep the holiday spirit, so imho, if holidays are 'ruined' because we finish the unwelcome discussion with a curt response and an early departure, the collateral damage is the lump of coal they've got coming.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/22/2019 09:13PM by ptbarnum.