Hello everyone; I suppose this is an LDS "culture" question I'm asking. Is it typically the norm to not have obituaries published when someone dies? I was a member for 12 years (resigned 2 years ago), and very rarely was an obit published when a member died. A decent man who was a good friend of ours just passed, he had numerous admirers both in/out of the church, but no obit was published. So many people who'd like to pay their respects may not have gotten the chance. TIA for your answers.

I wouldn't say that it is a Mormon thing. We had one when my dad passed. Also for the two friends I had who died as members.

So maybe it was a personal choice of the family.

Everyone I know had one published in the Des News or local Utah town paper. The one exception was my dad's aunt - who had a quiet small service in the Bay Area. I'm not sure where you'd publish one in that area anyway.


If anything, I would say obits are a big part of Utah culture.

We had to pay for our Fathers obit to be published in the local paper. Maybe that's why some of them are just a few sentances long.

Mormon Observer Wrote:
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> We had to pay for our Fathers obit to be published
> in the local paper. Maybe that's why some of them
> are just a few sentances long.


My dad wrote his own obituary. It was so preposterously pompous that we had to tone it down a bit, and people still laughed at it. It cost my stepmother almost eight-hundred dollars to publish it. Then she wanted to post it also in his hometown and another city where we had lived when I was a kid. I told her not to waste more money.

I think it's because a "consider the cost" situation. In my local regional paper, it's $350 for a very small and basic obit.

With the advent of being able to post online, it can be more economical.

Firstly, Mormon culture is just weird. They have their own culture with their own ideas of what is socially appropriate and socially inappropriate. My mother who converted when she was 18 or 19 had an obituary.

Secondly, if they are giving 10% of their money to the church, it is could be harder for the family to come up with another 800 bucks when funerals are so expensive anyway.

Just a couple thoughts.

Agreed, it was probably cost. A lady in my ward passed and her kids had a very long obit.

Now, often, the funeral home will publish the obit, for free I imagine with the cost of the funeral, on their funeral home web page. They also usually put photos on there.

Of course you have to know that the person died to catch it. Not as easy as the paper but this is the future, probably.

What still bothers me about the obituaries is that often with a TBM's obituary, the survivors will ask for contributions to Go Fund Me. You would think that TSCC would pony up and help their very active families/survivors with funeral costs. The Mormon culture really is strange; I remember years ago, the newspapers published engagements and wedding announcements, along with photos of the bride or bride and groom and it was all the rage here in the Salt Lake Valley and Utah Valley. They had very detailed announcements,even saying exactly what was served at the reception.

Nobody reads the paper anymore.

I've not had a paper delivered since I moved to Las Vegas in 1998 and the delivery was so spotty I cancelled within about 90 days.

I find I can read as much or more online as I can in a newspaper.

They've also been outstripped by the internet which is free.

The funeral home will publish a nice obituary at no charge and post it on its website.

Now the board thinks I'm posting spam.

It was a rather nice response too, IMHO.

Death seems to become more and more popular, the older we get.

You can keep up with the trend by reading the public "Death Notices" in the news. Most out-of-state Mormon friends and relatives have brief obituaries, without photos, in their local newspapers, out of courtesy. It's embarrassing to see someone socially or in business and ask, "How's Henry?" Then you see their face drop, and they tell you that Henry died two years ago.

The funeral-home obituaries can be as long and detailed as people want them to be, and most include a photo, and sometimes two--a "before and after" the ravages of old age, in case you can't recognize what's left of the person.

Another great thing about the funeral-home websites, is that there is a place for you to write your condolences and fond memories! You can also read the lovely comments of others. I used to send sympathy cards, but this is better. If bereaved family members are too old to be online, you can print up all the comments, for them.

I have a pet peeve about Mormon obituaries! When I first moved here and subscribed to the Tribune, I was dismayed about how many couples died together! Was it a car accident, or gas poisoning, or some other disaster? Seriously! It took a couple of papers for me to catch on that the Mormons were using couples pictures, if the spouse died previous to the deceased. Some had captions (for clarity, for idiots like me) "Together forever" or "reunited at last." I was single, and this seemed to be an insult to non-temple sealed people. Most of the photographs were couples missionary photos.

My daughter did an on-line wedding announcement. She didn't put it in the paper. She posted on fb that anyone who wanted to get an announcement should contact her and then she sent them out. There was a cost, but not significant.

My boyfriend's dad didn't have an obituary because he didn't want people bugging his wife after he died and didn't want them to know that she was living alone. He also didn't want his mormon relatives to have his work done. His family was mormon. His grandfather was a danite, who left Utah and went back to Ohio. His father was NOT mormon and didn't want to be.

I don't plan on having an obit or a funeral. I would like my kids and a few friends to have a little graveside service before I'm buried. That's it. Cheap coffin. I'd be cremated, but that bothers me for some reason. Probably mormon teachings. I really would like to have my ashes put on my dogs' graves. Wish I could be buried with them.

It's no secret that I love obituaries in the newspaper, and especially those of people I might have known earlier in my life.

One this week is for a guy, just 73 years old, who was a well-off dentist in Las Vegas. I didn't know him there, but he and his little family lived around the corner from us in Sandy, early 70's until his dental practice gave him enough money to move farther east and that was about the last I saw of him. He had been the Elder's quorum president among the high profile jobs in our ward and was overall a decent guy.

Post divorce(me) I ran into him once at Fashion Place Mall in Murray. I was shopping with my daughter. He and a couple of his 7 kids were shopping also. He was friendly, told me it was nice to see me and that's all.

Never heard anything more about him (except my ex told me he'd closed his dental practice here and moved to Las Vegas.) I saw a few years back that his wife, a very nice woman, had died of breast cancer while they lived in Las Vegas. He apparently took more training and became a very popular dentist there and had a very successfull cosmetic dentistry practice.

Getting to the point, he died this week, still in Las Vegas. Here's a link to his obituary.

https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=richard-featherstone&pid=191886630

Do you notice that there's no church mentioned there? The services are to be held on Sunday 3/24 at the Springs Preserve which is a very nice nature conservancy in Las Vegas. No mention of a service at a local church. And his fiancee looks about half his age, which means nothing.

Just an interesting obituary.

My uberMormon cousin’s son posted his mom’s death on Facebook, as in “My mom died last night.” I know I am an old fogey, but my FB friends include several younger generation folks. I had never seen then or since such a post.

ive seen to many bishops destroy good funerals by having the last word. for this reason when i am gone my children will have a private service at my favorite restaurant. they will tell stories about me (funny i hope ) and my oldest son will have the final word. the only mormons who will be invited will already be friends or relatives that i like. a funeral is a way for the living to cope with the loss of a loved one, not another excuse for a bishop give another boring sermon.

Do mormons believe life after death

Yes. They believe in different levels of heaven. The highest level is the Celestial Kingdom. They believe that if they are sealed in one of their temples to their spouse and their children, that they will be together in the Celestial Kingdom.

What Mormons often fail to realize is that this is a basic Christian belief. Almost all Christians believe that they will be reunited with their families in the afterlife -- no temple sealing nor 10% tithe required. Mormons believe that they are offering something special, but they really are not.