People are already scared of me as it is being a suspicious character no matter what i do or change. I had to get a bank account again for SSDI. I can't go in there with a mask on they will think i am robbing the place. This is a problem. Maybe. They'll sound the alarm if they see a guy like me coming in with a mask on for sure.

LOL, don't worry about it. Lots and lots of people are wearing masks.

The banks here won't let you come in. They are closed and the only ones operating are the ones with drive throughs.

I had to go to the bank last week. I also was concerned that the bank would be concerned with my bright pink bandana and gloves. I could not even go into the bank without an appointment. But alas, the person at the door had a bandana too. So who is protecting who.

I haven't had to go into a bank since the pandemic began but i just thought of this today if i had to go into the bank for whatever reason with a mask on they'll push the alarm button for sure on me hahahaha.

A fried made a mask for me: green bordered with brown. Not a combo I could have chosen for myself,with two sets of ties on each side of the face. With my surgically re-engineered shoulder on Fe. 27, my shoulder is not yet ready to tie a double tie around the back to my head. not is my overtired and strained left arm in the running, either.

Honestly, I tried to wrangle that mask into subservience,but couldn't.I ended up not inhaling while the transaction was going on.

I am resolved to give my ventilator to younger parents who have children of their own, not yet ready to stand on their own. I've had a good life.

e, I am retired, for crying out loud, give my ventilator to a young person who has kids to raise!! Give them the chances I've had for children and grandchildren! My DH will see to this. Let the younger, sturdier ones live, and bless them!!

Maybe other grandparents don't see it this way, but it it crystal clear to me: SAVE the YOUNGER AND HEALTHIER ONES!!

Yea i agree to give the young ones what they need. People think i am one of the young ones but i have lived through a lot and i am indifferent if i do happen to get the virus. Really do not want to be in a hospital ever again.

You're my age, Warrior. We still have a lot of living ahead of us. You have much to contribute once you get through difficult times.

D@mn it hahaha if you are the year of the boar '83 then you know i have the ability to survive this pandemic making the necessary adjustments. I don't even have the beautiful wife like you do and its looking like i never will but i know d@mn sure i can outlast this pandemic. Its a worthy adversary to outlast for the warrior within myself. Does it make me feel like i have purpose for staying alive the last six years? Absolutely. And purpose has been very hard for me to find believe you me. I don't want my purpose to have been the kid that got his @ss kicked by a cult and cult adults and cult family in every way and gave up in life because he thought he could not beat the b@stards and there was no one on earth that seemed to want to help me beat the b@stards. So i live on the outer rim, i just need someone to teach me how to grow crops so i can self sustain forever without help and then everything can crumble as i am fishing on a lake with an old dog maybe haha i don't know.

Haven't i contributed enough though? The prove myself mentallity has not been good for me. I deliver to people because it makes me feel good and not to prove myself to family or jesus or to anyone older than me. If the system crumbles and takes mormonism with it so be it. Bound to happen eventually with greed going unchecked for this long.

I was actually born in May of '84, but I believe we are less than a year apart and spend a portion of each year being the same age.

You are correct. I had a friend your age and born in may. We are only 10 months a part. I made a lot of mistakes man. When traumatic things happen all the rules kind of go out the window and you don't really know how to go on or put the pieces back together. Any chance at a real life kind of gets thrown out the window with trauma survivors or so it seems. I do the best i can though.

You're not even forty yet. Barring an unforeseen event (which could happen to anybody; tomorrow isn't a guarantee for me, you, or anyone else), you likely have half of your life remaining. You have plenty of time left, and there's no rush.

As a thirty-five-year-old with children who would presumably benefit from the generosity of the elders willing to give up their ventilators in favor of those younger and with children, I truly appreciate the generosity. I also thoroughly understand that the double ties on the only mask catnip had were too unwieldy to be managed with a bum shoulder.

Still, let's not throw in the towel for the older generation just yet. We can continue with reasonable social distancing as long as is recommended by genuinely knowledgeable experts (not necessarily the orange creature at the presidential seal-emblazoned podium every day) to the degree that each of us can afford to do so. With some luck, we may slow the spread of the virus to the extent that there won't be too many people at the same time who are in dire need of ventilators, and one generation will not have to be sacrificed for the good of another.

It's a nice gesture nonetheless.

Hahahaha orange creature. You won't believe this but i looked in the mirror and truly believed that i was a better man then the president. I know that is not a very high bar for self-esteem but its better than nothing.

You are definitely a much better man than the Orange excrement. By far!

I second this. You, Warrior, are better than he is in every sense of the word.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2020 11:24PM by scmd1.

Hahahaha YES!!! i am improving at least above the orange creature walking around.

The orange creature and my father are a lot alike i learned in that they are totally clueless and oblivious that they are causing a lot of problems without realizing it. It seems that the orange creature is a narcissist by what i have seen and i have learned that all narcissists are exactly the same or they think the same way. Never underestimate the wreckage even one narcissist can cause. Trust me on this. There is a reason why i am secretly moving to where my father will not know where i live.

This happened yesterday i looked in the mirror and was like "i know i am at least a better man than what i have seen of trump recently" haha. I have only been really watching trump recently since the pandemic. I haven't had television in a while. So my self-esteem has at least been bumped up to 1% haha. First time i have ever said with confidence that i knew i was a better man than someone.

Besides mormon jesus. I have said that i am better than mormon jesus in the past.

Regardless of Jesus' historicity or lack thereof, Mormon Jesus is a mythological being. You are, indeed, superior to a mythological being.

I lived in Detroit during my mish & a bit later (long story); last time some of the banks posted rules outside: no hats, no sunglasses, no masks.

A few had 'man trap' double doors that the staff had to activate to let customers exit.

and my brother, but my son is 34 and so very close to your age. He also would be considered a problem if he wore a mask into a bank, but he doesn't have a bank account. He, like I, is very suspicious of banks, like I've said before. There are times you have to have them. I have an account with the hospital CU where my "husband" works and they are open and I have gone in. They have no drive-ups. It is inside the hospital.

My son looks suspicious. He used to get pulled over a lot, but my boyfriend gave him his dad's old S10 pickup after his dad died and the cops stopped pulling him over. His other car was rough looking.

My brother is a manager at a company so he has to look like he fits into society, though he'd prefer not to. My older brother used to be the same way. He had a big bushy beard and long hair. He usually worked on oil wells. They have the same type of personality as you do. My older brother had a stroke about 24 years ago and hasn't been the same since.

People have even been suspicious of me of being an undercover cop like 3 times in this town. From that extreme to cops pulling me over because i look suspicious. Like no matter what i do i am suspicious so i just chill alone mostly because of this because lord knows if i go near people for too long i will be accused of something. He's breathing!! That is suspicious!!! basically. Sometimes i want to turn myself in because i feel guilty for being alive or something hahaha. Your son has always sounded similar to me. If he didn't have to eat or drink to survive he'd probably think that would be awesome because he could game in his room all day unbothered and be a badass hermit. I always thought it would be awesome if i didn't have to eat or drink to survive. Wouldn't have to leave the house as much.

I am definitely more cautious of banks this go around but SSDI only sends you paper checks for so long but i am very happy that they did that for me. I am doing things a little differently this go around with my one new checking account that SSDI is now going into. I had to re-think things after the last fiasco that forced my hand and i had to fight in court to get my money back and basically forced my hand finally with a chapter 7 banktrupcy. Never got the money back that the credit union(bank) ,same difference to me now, took of course but i did get the money back that was garnished. Thats funny that your son had an S10. My first vehicle was a white S10. I loved that truck and had it a long time. I swear not many things make me happier than driving and listening to music. Maybe why i am a delivery guy.

My fiasco also proved that banks or credit unions have way more power than the government. They were the only ones that got away with taking money away from me and would not refund me after it was proven illegal. They knew i could do nothing about it after the fact. Banks are excused from everything apparently.

I also think corruption and a broken system is WAY more obvious to every person in the country now then ever before as well. A virus has exposed a lot of holes in my opinion. No one can ignore it unless you live on the moon right now with the Quakers as J.S. said i think haha.

I admit though i don't do well when i come across another empath. They are way too smart when it comes to me. They can see past my physical pain and see what is bothering me mentally like my father for example. They can feel and see the emotional damage i took from what i had to be around for most of my life. In some ways they surpass people in professional fields. Like i said some empathic people are way too pinpoint smart and can hit me in the real sensitive spots like my past and being around a narcissist and father for a long time and what that did to me.

My father has no idea what it was like to be me and put up with him for as long as i did. My father does not know he has a personality disorder because like all narcissists they have no clue that anything is wrong with them. My uncle understands because he was my fathers younger brother and my father acted like the parent of him for a while. So my uncle gets it to some degree. But i am more getting away from him more than i am a religion because in essence he is the religion in the physical form of narcissism. I want him to be someone elses problem like forever. I know the damage i took and there was barely anything left of me. No person. So i know his knew wife now understands. She has seen my fathers narcissistic rage firsthand. And she has tried to put her foot down to some extent. Little does she know that my father is calmer in his older age then when he was raising me.

My bank has been having limited hours, but I do most of that online so I have no real reason to go to anything other than the ATM. I get my paycheck through direct deposit, so there's no need to go to the bank every 2 weeks on payday. One of my friends did joke about it being "masked robber day" at Costco since the local county guidelines are now that you can't go into any essential business without a mask on. It's now the case for my city as well, but I happen to sew, so I've been making some masks to wear.

I looked to see if they had a bane medical mask online but they do not unfortunately. They have high altitude bane masks for working out but i don't think those are meant for blocking viruses.

On the bright side, it may be easier to make a sizeable withdrawal.

but only in certain areas of Yellowstone N.P.---

I definitely won't be asked 20 questions like the last time i withdrew a good amount. Holy hell they really have a problem with giving away a good amount of cash at once.