I often blame myself for falling into the trap set for me by the mormon church. Perhaps I was flawed. Maybe as a 16 year old boy I had already committed some terrible act that meant that I was ready for a lifetime of control. Maybe I deserved it.

I consider my upbringing. There was lots of craziness on both branches of the family tree. I was a nerdy kid. I was not popular nor was I unpopular. I was simply unknown. But I was told that I was the best.

I suffered from the same delusions of grandeur that so many Americans have. I was meant to do something big. I could grow up to be president. As Bill Maher said, I was a millionaire in waiting. Like so many white middle class people, I was bright and above average. America is a country where everyone is "above average". (I only recently understood the paradox of this statement.) I was a leader who had not found his followers.

Then the mormon church came into my life. I was told that I was part of a chosen generation. I was special. I was a golden contact. The elders were overjoyed that they were the lucky ones who found me.

The elders explained that the mormons were the chosen people. They held the Royal priesthood. They were people of God. I was a son of God.

After baptism my delusions received nourishment. You see, in the mormon church everyone is a leader. Everyone is in a presidency. Everyone has a personal calling from God. Everyone is special. The mormon church plays upon the American vision that we are all special.

I learned that I could become a god. I could have limitless increase. I could rule my own planet. Seriously. I ate this up for the first few years of membership.

In fact, I was a lonely, friendless loser. I was a perfect target.

For the first few years I enjoyed the fellowship of good people. I had friends. I belonged to a community. It had nothing to do with actual facts or the truth, although I kept telling myself that it did.

The mormon church preys upon those who, for whatever reason, are susceptible to its charms. It lies and flatters. It covers and conceals. It manipulates and takes advantage.

The mormon church leverages your weakness and takes ownership of you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2020 07:16PM by Lowpriest.

Nothing personal to all those who believe it, but you're on the right track. If you're needy, mormonism wants you to believe that as far as ꟸEternityꟸ goes, they have the recipe for fulfilling ALL your needs.

Basically, it's "Join us to become a God! It only costs 10¢ of every dollar you make! Join now, don't delay!! Plus you'll be wicked cool... Just ask the Elders!!"

mormonism and it wasn't even at church. It was at work. Life in mormonism for my siblings and I was not a good experience. I was one of the long-time hold outs. I wanted a forever family. I didn't want to lose my family. I lived in fear. And I wanted to get married and have kids. I loved having younger siblings and I took care of them A LOT to the point 2 of them still see as a mother figure and they are in their 50s.

Never wanted to be a goddess. Never wanted to share my husband with a bunch of other women. And once I'd been through the temple, I assumed that is what the CK would be like. But I was already on my way out, after all we all know the story of my marriage. I lost my husband before I even had one. No forever family for me. So mormonism lost its luster--whatever that luster might have been. I couldn't stand most of the people.

True

It's like a vampire

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be a part of something that is both important and that is bigger than ourselves. The Mormon church just isn't it. Finding that something that really works for us is perhaps our life's real mission. And I think it's okay to not know what that is, even in to later life. If nothing else, we know what it isn't and we learn more about who we are. There is nothing wrong with having lofty goals and desires, as long as we can learn to be happy with who and where we are now. That is easier said than done. So I add that to my list of lofty goals. At least we're not as susceptible to bad beliefs as we were before we joined the Mormon cult. If I could change my history to eliminate Mormonism from my past, I can't say that I would choose to do it. So it must have had some value to me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/04/2020 06:35AM by azsteve.

I think that I was both susceptible and gullible.

When I was 18, I worked at the COB in the historical department.
I told my parents that I was working for the "celestial kingdom on earth". No matter what I saw, heard, or read, I stamped down the red flags.

The "ward" that we first lived in had very nice people who were friendly towards us. When we moved to the neighborhood that we are in now, all that changed. People were prejudiced because I'm "white and delightsome" and my hubby is a "Lamanite"-not a countertop, but the one who is to "blossom in the desert". In fact, that may be the only reason that they tolerated us.

There was always the "Totem Pole" effect in the ward and stake here. People were competing and brown nosing for the highest callings.

I hated going to RS; the women were always serious and angry looking; I liked it when I was called as ward librarian.

Finally, the snide remarks and unfriendliness got to me, so we gradually got inactive, and left after doing research and discoveries. I dusted off the red flags and saluted them, relieved to be out of a cult.