Since they always rehash old material, what are the predictions for the Fall Conference?

Here a few of mine, please add others as you see fit:

* Our Youth today are the greatest generation to ever distance socially

* Mask Ministering: Caring for the 99% and the one real chance you can get covid

* Where will you go? Who's toilet will you scrub? - M. Ballard

* Doubt your Doubts about our Silence ... I said doubt them! (a talk of faith and fury signifying? delivered by J. Holland)

* Even if a prophet is wrong and it costs you your life, he can still be right and you will still be blessed. Just don't sue the church - R. Nelson

* we NEVER SAID THAT, but if someone did a long time ago... s/he was only speaking as a man. -D. Oaks

btw, did you know I was on the Utah State Supreme Court?

NO conflict of Interest, NONE WHATSOEVER...

Now is the time to square up your tithing.

The world may love'em, but god has not changed his hatred of gays.

Women still need to wear lipstick and get those donuts ready.

(women's) Knees are UGLY!

tattoos, piercings? NEVER!

form-fitting clothing? NEVER!

two-piece bathing suits? NEVER!!!

too large or too many earrings? VERBOTEN!!!!

Facial Hair (on men): Verboten!!

String ties, bow ties: VERBOTEN!!!

Follow the Profit, Heil Nelson!!!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2020 11:52PM by GNPE.

Brethren! Sisters! There are some among you who want to be called 'Saints' and yet, and yet you are still using the word MORMON. This will not do!

As any propagandist would say onboard a sinking ship:

"Everything is great with our church!"

"Millions upon millions of people are joining our church! Seriously, we can't baptize them fast enough!"

"Though many refuse our truth that does not make it less true. If you doubt the teachings then go and pray to the source of ALL TRUTH and confirm that your church is true...(or else)"

"Show compassion and empathy for those friends and family members who have left. Their lives are now less bright. Only by being loving towards them can they see the error in their ways. Also, you should not speak to apostates. Shun them and cut them out of your lives."

Brothers and sisters, we have been informed by the appropriate authorities, that this has been the largest choir zoom performance in history. We marvel at the technology that allows us to proceed with our great mission.

We will now be pleased to hear from Elder E Scott Lugubrious, of the Second Quorem of the Senescent.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2020 04:09PM by Brother Of Jerry.

The Tabernacle Choir had the biggest crowds ever?