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Posted by: jan ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:37PM

Since they don't prophesy, see or reveal?

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Posted by: elee ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:42PM

Geriatric Cock Blockers.

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Posted by: GayLayAle ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:43PM


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Posted by: helamonster ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:55PM


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Posted by: elee ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 03:04PM

I have enjoyed using The C word. That show gave me an entirely new appreciation for the word. ;)

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Posted by: I believed this once, years ago.. ( )
Date: April 12, 2011 07:47PM

"Who stole the fucking dope? - Swer'gen! Cocksucka!! One of the best scenes in television history.

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Posted by: 4 and 20 Blackbirds ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:43PM


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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:47PM

As a general policy, they are asked to retire from their professions and devote themselves to full time service. Nowdays, they are asked to resign from boards and professional organizations, however, some are asked to serve on church related boards, educational organizations etc.
They are responsible for setting and carrying out church policy and manage the affairs of the LDS Church/corporations.

Some write books, some have other interests. Some are doctors, have been university presidents, owned companies, worked for banks, financial institutions, and on and on.Nearly all have served in church government as bishops, stake presidents, mission presidents, seventies, etc.

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Posted by: Truthseeker ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 02:55PM

They spend most of their time debating the findings in the reports from their PR firm and deciding which stupid nonsense piece of advise to come out with next.

Like:

- no more than one earring per ear
- get married early and have children right away (education and career will take care of themselves)
- beware tattoos
- gays are scary people trying to restrict TBMs religious freedom
- the truth is not helpful
- postum and hot chocolate are okay, coffee and tea are bad
- let's drop the bloodthirsty stuff in the temple so people will feel more comfortable with the sh!t we're asking them to swallow

I'm sure there are literally hundreds of pieces of ridiculous advice that these guys have come up with and shared that I have failed to mention.

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Posted by: Jesus Smith ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 03:13PM

Living the gospel ain't much of a living.

One wonders if they really obey all the Mo commandments with all the monetary blessings they don't work for...

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Posted by: reinventinggrace ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 03:32PM

If they keep up much of a schedule it's probably fatiguing. For a 75 hr old man, traveling maybe twice a month means 3 days on the road, staying at hotels, being away from your creaturecomforts and family. Sure they probably have fancy hotels and all, but that's a lot. And standing up giving talks a couple times a month, standing around afterwards with annoyingly fawning fans, getting asked pesky questions, delivering a few blessings, marrying a few folks while wearing a white outfit. And taking up slack for the true geriatrics, and figuring out how to keep your fellow apostles in line.

Then there's the business matters -- are you going to let Burton and crew run the show? Or are you going to try to get your finger in the pie. The board meetings must be pretty dismal, sitting in some posh room in the temple, maybe wearing white (doubt it) and listening to Tommy or one of his staff run through hudsiness and trying to pretend like you know what's going on, or worry because you DO know what's going on.

All in all not a job I'd want to have v

Oh yeah. Retirement is not permitted.
RG

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Posted by: unconventionalideas ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 04:05PM

Yes, all of that combined with the feelings of guilt from knowing you are a fraud perpetrator, would not add up to a happy existence.

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Posted by: coyote ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 04:16PM

Forgive me for nitpicking, but I assume you meant '75 year old man' and not '75 hour old man'? Although the thought of a three-day-old infant as a general authority amuses the hell out of me (and that baby would probably be a far better choice for the position than most of the real GAs), something tells me that child would be even less able to handle the stress of the job than an old man would.

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: April 06, 2011 05:12PM

They tell you how to live, that's what they do...

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Posted by: athreehourbore ( )
Date: April 07, 2011 11:18AM

An insider told me that the church office building is actually hollow and filled with tithing money converted into gold coins. I believe it was renovated long ago under the direction of Elder C. Scrooge McDuck in order to offer the GA's a recreational facility to swim in on breaks between counting the Lord's skrilla.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: April 12, 2011 07:48PM

Bilk the sheeple! It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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Posted by: emanon ( )
Date: April 12, 2011 08:00PM

Sleep.
Manipulate someone.
Take a nap.
Look at reports.
Take another nap.
Let the sheep kiss their feet.
Take a nap.
Tell others what to do.
Take a nap.
Think of what will be said at the next GC.
Sleep.

It's an exhausting job!

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Posted by: Simone Stigmata ( )
Date: April 12, 2011 08:02PM

Go to meetings of course.

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Posted by: deb ( )
Date: April 12, 2011 08:05PM

Learning more and more on how this "well oiled" machine works I was curious as the order of preisthood is what is the order. I know a famous politician who is a seventy. I'm certain he doesn't get pd. through LDS. I do know priesthood begins @ a young age.

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Posted by: Glo ( )
Date: April 13, 2011 01:50AM

They bitch and moan about the eeeevils of socialism and rile against the heathens who suck on the teats of government.

While conveniently forgetting that their cushy and financially secure life styles are supported by the tithes of the members.

Not to mention that they expect social programs to pick up the slack when young Mormon couples take their idiotic advise and pop out kids they can't afford.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: April 13, 2011 02:20AM


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Posted by: jimo ( )
Date: April 14, 2011 12:31PM

Hey Steve, I saw your Boehner/Reid cartoon today. Was that meant to be a temple mason hat on Reid?

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Posted by: Unindoctrinated ( )
Date: April 14, 2011 02:47PM

Have you seen the officers lists from all the "Reserve" corporations (Farmland Reserve, Hawaii Reserve, Intellectual Reserve...)?

Oh yes. They sit on LOTS of boards, especially the CORPORATION of the First President and the CORPORATION of the Presiding Bishop. Whether they actually attend the meetings, I don't know, but they're compensated nicely.

Read Michael Quinn's books. It's even easy to Google.

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Posted by: Unindoctrinated ( )
Date: April 14, 2011 02:52PM

Don't feel sorry for all of the travel. They fly first class and are driven to the plane's "door fly" when in SLC, even if other passengers are kept waiting.

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Posted by: mav ( )
Date: April 14, 2011 05:59PM


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Posted by: Unindoctrinated ( )
Date: April 14, 2011 03:13PM


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Posted by: jim1 ( )
Date: April 14, 2011 03:54PM

They spend a lot of their time meeting with Jesus--

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