There was a time 20 years ago when this board was so popular.It was the place to come for exmormons.I think there 5 times the posters this boars has now 20 years ago.What is the future of this board and website?

The board went through a slow period, but seems to be picking up again. Almost all the posts on the first page were either posted or updated within the past 2-3 days. We have a bunch of new posters as well.

It was fun when it was a fast-moving board, but the trouble with a fast-moving board is that posts can get buried. I remember a time when I would have to go to the second or third page just to make sure that everyone reaching out for help got at least one response. Now, if a newcomer reaches out for help, that person will get a number of thoughtful responses.

Isn’t it a good thing that fewer people are in crisis and in need of help? At least as it pertains to Mormonism, which is what this board is supposed to address...

On the other hand, many people are in crisis now for different reasons.

Does every post have to be strictly about Mormonism. The operative word, I think, is recovery. Recovery also involves community and a shared fellowship that includes the idea that we are all in the boat as firmer Mormons

I like it. Just like me.

I think the safety in numbers of so many leaving the church has made most able to transition to a normal life much easier. Not like the old days when you knew no one except yourself who saw the fraud.

But the board serves a much broader purpose for many and as with many things, size only counts for, well . . . you know . . .

All mormon trolls claim that this board has no purpose.

All men are mortal.

And most of the women too.

No wonder women are less mortal than men. They have "the greater gift." Oooh.

"They also have, by divine nature, the greater gift and responsibility for home and children and nurturing there and in other settings."
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/women-in-the-church?lang=eng



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2020 12:59PM by Elder Berry.

Therefore all mortals are not mormon trolls ?

Whether it's slow or not, it still serves a purpose (and probably even several ;-). I shall continue to support it.

The biggest problem that I see with the current board is that responders do not stick to the subject at hand.
In my opinion if you are going to respond stay on subject or start your own subject.
I really like this forum!
Please. Let's not corrupt it



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2020 11:45AM by thedesertrat1.

Ervil Lebaron Wrote:
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> There was a time 20 years ago when this board was so popular.It was the place to come for exmormons.I think there 5 times the posters this boars has now 20 years ago. >

It's MATH: less mormons = less Xlds.

> What is the future of this board and website? >

To elicit questions such as this.

If every post were about the church not being 'true', I'd go bonkers. Sure, there are people who need that message, but what happens after a doubting mormon becomes an exmormon?

I have no idea as to what percentage then simply move on with their lives and how many have to fight a rear-guard action against "The ties that bind".

I haven't been back to Reddit /exmormon for months, because ALL they deal with are mormon issues. I personally have no mormon issues to deal with.

I'm here to help, and to make people laugh, and there's not a lot to laugh about when the church intrudes into your life, despite you not believing in JoJu and his fables. So you should wallow in your misery, whatever grade it might be?

I say "Neigh!", because I'm a horse of a different color. Let's turn that frown upside down!

Sure, not everyone comes here hoping to be goaded to laughter, but if the laughter is 'general', I think the reward outweighs the downside of trying to provoke it.

I'm Elder Olddog, and I'm an Exmormon! And Exmormons try harder to share good feelings!

...and just maybe we're working up to new heyday? Not to mention that reading RfM will contribute to you becoming Well Read...

elderolddog Wrote:
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> ...and just maybe we're working up to new heyday?

Hey now, did you just get woke...up?

well, I am one of the old oldtimers...I met Eric, Richard Packham and a few others back in the late 90's when one of the first exmormon conferences was held down in Las Vegas at the Debbie Reynolds hotel (IIRC). I was just finding my way out of mormonism and being from Utah County, it was rough. I thought I was the only one who had figured out it was total BS. But, I found some kindred spirits there who helped me see that I was not alone. One of the biggest helps to me then was this BB. It became my congregation of souls who understood the trauma we were all going through.

Yes, there has been lots of drama over the last 20+ years. Other forums have come and gone. This one has stayed simple and straight forward. I admit that I sometimes have FOMO because mormon news often breaks right here.

I'll keep reading it and supporting it, even now that I am way beyond the recovery stage. I am more in the disgusted stage where I wonder how in the H*ll my gggrandparents believed the bs.

gemini Wrote:
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> I am
> more in the disgusted stage where I wonder how in
> the H*ll my gggrandparents believed the bs.

I am more in the disgusted with myself stage where I wonder how ever believed this bs.

Speaking of other boards I really enjoyed the old "Fringe" board. There were some uncontrolled pro boards like Lds Talk and Zarahemlas corner.Even though I'm a TBM I often found myself in trouble on the Pro boards.

Elderolddog wrote:

"I'm here to help, and to make people laugh"

I'm pretty sure you succeed in the first premise and can confirm my testimony of the second, wholeheartedly and with shoulders shaking :-D

It's what keeps us young(*) around here ;-)

(*) Note: for a given value of "young"

Don't bother reading or posting.

Only if it's bailed!
And you're a horse.

I'm hoping that it's because people are becoming more aware of the hard truths. You don't necessarily have to find a site like this one in order to find information. But we're still always here for support and that's a positive thing.

I bought my first computer near the end of 1998. I was actually a host and team lead, training new hosts, in an LDS chatroom on MSN. I may even have had to deal with some of the old-timers from around here when they came in to cause trouble. LOL They actually just wanted to spread truth, but of course from our perspective, they were trolls.

Anyway, at that time I didn't believe the things they said about the Church that would have told me it wasn't "true." I thought they were simply misinformed, didn't have all the facts, or were twisting facts.

With more and more websites coming out, I eventually stumbled on the truth, which was quite a shock, and I've been on RfM for over a decade.

Greyfort Wrote:
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> With more and more websites coming out, I
> eventually stumbled on the truth, which was quite
> a shock, and I've been on RfM for over a decade.

I was trolling a polygamist sect's forum and they told me about RfM in 2001. I hopped over and the rest is history. In 2003 I receive Brigham Young's genealogy in a big book for Christmas that year from my oldest sister. I had dismissed a lot of what I had read on The Internet and here as lies but there was the proof. My great great great grandmother had "married" Joe 6 months after marrying Henry.

And my shelf collapsed completely. I became active in RfM under a few different handles. I was suicidal and had no where to turn for help. I was helped here. And I love to argue so I had some fun as well. I still believed in Jesus sans Joseph but eventually that gave way years later. I only took off my garments in 2015 after I talked to my brother about his resigning from the church.

It was a long hard and slow walking away and RfM was here through it all. Here's to many more RfM years!

We love you, EB.

Ah, shucks. I don't remember when you first appeared here but I was definitely intimidated by you. Loved it when you showed those ex-elders here how sisters be doing it.

Nice allusion, EB, to the song.

From 1.10 and there's a good performance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=032tbc72bsk

To find out who rules you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

The word on the street is that Voltaire did not say or write that accurate quip.

It was a neo-nazi racist! Weird, huh?


The statement "To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize" is often falsely attributed to Voltaire, the French Enlightenment philosopher.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Alfred_Strom#:~:text=of%20William%20Pierce.-,%22True%20Rulers%22%20quotation,Voltaire%2C%20the%20French%20Enlightenment%20philosopher.

Maybe some have grown weary of it but you have to remember that perhaps newbies who are questioning or who have left mormonism are reading RFM for the first time and are receiving help from the words of wisdom and shared experiences of those who post here.

I remember first finding out about this site about 14 years ago. It was so validating to find an entire community of people who had been through what I'd been through but were much more articulate about expressing themselves. It helped me so much to finally say out loud and even just to myself (almost impossible before I found RFM) that the Mormon church is a fraud.

RFM is invaluable and I hope it lasts until the Mormon church disappears. I'm sure LDS Inc. would be happy to see RFM disappear.

Day-o, day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Work all night on a drink of rum
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Stack banana till de morning come
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home

I sure wish I had a buck for every time someone posted this. At the very least, I could get that special Dark Shadows set I so want.

I've been here since before '97 (I only remember that because I found it when I work in a different building) and it's changed a bit. There are past times here that I don't miss.

But as far as past its hayday, I prefer to think of it as the Second Cutting.

Every Thursday this bored® is past its Wednesday.

Like clockwork¡

Too many off topic posts promoting extreme political views.

I assume "extreme" translates as "not your".

Everyone considers themself the voice of reason and sanity. Ask Ammon.

Surely, ONE of us has the truth!

Let's vote...

The other facet of that phenomenon, BoJ, is that people who complain about "extreme political views" are often guilty of them in the first place.

Is it really "neutral," for example, to say men should have control over women's bodies? That abortion is "murder?" Are they who object strenuously to those assertions "extreme" or was it the people who initially denied equal rights to women or ethnic minorities who cast the first stone?

What has happened is that over the last several years the troglodytes have come out of the caves, no longer ashamed to voice their extreme views. "We define the new normal," they effectively opine, and anyone who disagrees is the "new extreme."

I, for one, won't tolerate that. Morality and language have enduring meaning. What was racist ten years ago is racist still; what was misogynistic a decade ago remains such today. Defending established values is not "extremism:" it's merely refusing to join the lemmings rushing off the political cliffs.

Past it's heyday? Yeah, I would say so. That doesn't make it a bad thing...just not nearly as great as it once was. Not even close.

I've been coming here off and on since 1998. Back then I did a Yahoo search (Google wasn't around yet) one night for "anti mormon", and this place popped up. I stayed up most of the night reading the 50-some exit stories that were posted at that time. It was great to see that there were people out there that felt the same towards the church as I did.

The discussion board was loaded with incredible posters/characters. From a previous thread you can read about the respect for Deconstructor and what a great asset he was in providing info and support to those of us leaving the cult. Other posters were well rounded, compassionate, and informative. Names that I can recall (and I am missing a lot) like Makurosu, Esteban, Davey, J., TLC, WCG, Debbie PA, Wags (I still bake Wags' recipe for his "Cream In You Jeans" brownies that he posted), and guys like Tedd (always entertaining) and the one and only Colonel Kane kept this place hopping for quite some time. This place had much more of a "community" feel to it. So much so that many of us participated in sharing our pictures to an RfM photo album folder that was created.

Moderation was much better. Although there was always some deletion of posts, many were allowed to stay and it took a lot more than some little butt-hurt whiney bitch complaining to admin to get the post removed. Few political posts were allowed and those that were, BOTH sides were allowed to voice an opinion. Not like today where a right leaning post is removed while the left leaning admin supported post is allowed to remain.

Over the years my participation here has weened. New posts here used to last on the front page only about a day or so but now I find I can check in every three or four days and still catch everything. I find exmormon on reddit and Mormon Discussions to be more interesting.

This place still serves a purpose though and it is what it is. Thanks to all who established it long ago and to those who maintain it today. For those who really like it here...you would have really liked it 15-20 years ago. Just sayin'

Damn... I am really sorry I missed the Cream in Your Jeans brownies. Not much makes me cream in my jeans anymore.

I have to admit, as a nevermo who kinda married into the craziness, I do miss some of the weirder Mormon stories that used to show up here. But I do not miss some of the people who used to be downright mean to posters, especially newcomers.

I've been here since around 2002 or so... I think I found this place after I inadvertently took the first discussions because I was nice to a couple of missionaries who showed up at my apartment on a hot day. My husband was still LDS at the time and was really upset that I "outed" him to the mishies (I didn't know they would try to convert me).

I found another board before I found RfM that I liked, but it wasn't as interesting and I think it eventually went defunct. Even though I've been here for a long time, it was a long time before I felt comfortable posting here because some people were so confrontational, angry, and mean.

There were quite a few people who had no empathy for our situation and some who flat out didn't believe my story. One poster even accused me of making it up! Another seemed to blame me for the fact that she had a shitty stepmother and flat out told me that I shouldn't want to have children of my own because my husband had kids from his first marriage and they should come first (even though they were totally estranged and wouldn't speak to him).

It wasn't until a few RfMers friended me on Facebook and saw my husband and me that I gradually started getting kinder responses. And now that one of my husband's daughters has started speaking to my husband, I feel kind of like an example of hope for those who wind up in extreme parental alienation situations exacerbated by the church and the narcissists who are attracted to it.

I do fondly remember going to a M and G in Alexandria, VA and meeting a few posters. That was back in 2004! One of the people I met was Tyson Dunn. The rest, I think, are no longer posting here.

Wow! I didn't know you and Ty had met. :)

He might not remember us. We lived at Fort Belvoir at the time. It was about two years before my husband resigned.

There was a lady there who went by the handle Truth Dancer and her husband seemed visibly uncomfortable. And another guy who went by Huckleberry Hinckley. But I distinctly remember meeting Tyson Dunn.

It was fun, even if I was wet behind the ears regarding Mormonism. Wow... 16 years ago!

If I wanted to hear one sided debates and misleading emotional appeals, I would have stayed in Sunday School.

The format of the board is old fashioned. I don't think it has changed in twenty years and that's a mixed blessing. It would be good if we could upload pictures.

I'm not interested in most of the content, to be honest.

And yet, here you are lmao.

I think the board has changed but mostly because society has calmed down since #45 took office, I remember when #44 was reeking havoc, there was all the lgbtq rights and hysteria. Seriously 2016 was a tumultuous as the summer of 69. But the Google gods have censored all the internet. I miss the way things were on other sites. We could say a whole lot more without getting axed, And there were great thoughtful discussions going on that are now extinct thanks to social justice, etc...

You see?

There are people on this site who think that granting non-cis people equal rights is wrong and "hysterical" as well as that "social justice" is anagonistic to "thoughtful discussions." Moreover, there are posters who believe that this shit is sacrosanct and may not be challenged.

That's exactly what I meant when I stated above that the people who feel "victimized" are in fact the aggressors. Taking rights from people based on their gender identity, insisting that a man should have the right to compel a woman to carry and bear his child, and saying that you reverence the state and its laws while demanding that the statutes protecting minority and immigrant rights be ignored: THAT is extremism.

And denouncing that extremism is no vice. The courage to stand up against bullies is what separates constitutional democracies from what Toqueville rightfully termed "the tyranny of the majority."

44 was wreaking havoc? 45 creates oasis? Good god man. What is your definition of havoc?

45 is the "reeker".

Sorry to get political - 3, 2, 1...



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2020 12:16AM by Nightingale.

They think that having won an election, they get to define what is socially acceptable--and that includes taking rights away from gay people and women and minorities.

Then if someone--like a gay person or a woman or a minority--calls them on that, they take offense and complain about "cancel culture" as if they are not trying to "cancel" entire categories of human beings in the first place. Such snowflakes might as well have stayed Mormon, where you can look down on other races and women and gay people--and the brethren can shut down any criticism.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2020 12:21AM by Lot's Wife.

Thank humble Jesus that here in Denmark our biggest concern is staying naked when tourists are around!

I don't know what I would do if I had to adopt a point of view not aligned with the Danish Way of Life.

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank humble Jesus that here in Denmark our
> biggest concern is staying naked when tourists are
> around!
>
> I don't know what I would do if I had to adopt a
> point of view not aligned with the Danish Way of
> Life.
WOW! How do I get to be a tourist in Demark?

I hope that this board and its community will stay around for decades to come.

I'm long past Mormonism. I have shared other issues here, and this group has supported me every time.

Hey, y'all - you're special. And I don't mean SPESHUL!!

I think probably Facebook changed how people interact on this board. I get my ex-mo fix here. Others have several other places now where they can go which didn't exist when RfM started.

I will not support Facebook in any way, so I'm really grateful for RfM. So, no, I don't think it is past its heyday.

20 years ago, there were no Facebook Groups to help fill the need. Some of us have found peace and solace, and now only make rare visits to this site (partly out of nostalgia).

Crocodile magi? Where are they mentioned in the Bible?

I come here for the exmormon humor. It's a unique thing that I can't find anywhere else.

I wouldn't say the board is past it's heyday, but it's changed somewhat from when I discovered it in 2015.

I have often thought how I really enjoyed the posts from Blue Orchid, Gatorman, Getbusylivin', If I Could Hie to Kolob, and BYU Boner. Haven't read posts lately from Wally Prince or C12. I hope they are all doing okay.

I don't think I would have thought of resigning from TSCC,if not for RFM. I wouldn't have found out about books like No Man Knows My History, or Blood of the Prophets.

Richard Packham gave excellent information on how to resign by letter; we did that and our resignations went smoothly.

I enjoy Done & Done's posts and his humor; I will always remember his comment comparing his patriarchal blessing being generic enough that it could apply to an Iguana.

The same thing with elderoldog's posts and his humor.

I appreciated so much the moral support from many of you when my daughter went to New York as a frontline worker in Brooklyn. She has since been several times to Texas to help out and is doing good.

Yes, this board has been great in dealing with many issues in my life.

Plus this Bored is a nice tax deduction!



Did you know that someone once quit this Bored, complained to a Tennessee State Government department (Eric K lives in Tenn), wrote up a complaint to a Tennessee BBB AND demanded the return of a recently made donation?

Who's not going to love a Bored like our Bored!!!