Spaghetti Feast for a Black Hole

---Physicists trained their telescopes on a cosmic monster as it pigged out on a star--Science Section NYT



Astronomers call it "Spaghettification" as they watch black holes. A little too close to a black hole? Tidal forces will stretch you and break you, like a noodle, then your shreds circle the black hole until they collide and knock on one another.

Sounds fun. No?

So. Is there any doubt about what happened to Elohim? No sign of him for thousands of years. Haven't had a sequel to the Bible in all that time? Very strange. Nobody has parted seas, or lived in whales, or had fun bets with Lucifer or sent plagues of frogs. Newborns are safe now even without lambs blood over the door.

And Jesus. The Jesus who would "be right back, kids?" Where can he be? Nobody walks on water anymore or turns a single fish into a smorgasbord. Nobody getting raised from the dead or the blind made to see. Why the sudden halt to all the miracles? Why not even a quick guest appearance? Just a drive by with your mask on Jesus. Please? What about a shout out to Rusty?

But no.


Kolob got a little too close to a black hole. Bye Bye Bye.

Would you like some grated Parmesan on that, your Omnipotency?

All I know is that I can get a spaghetti dinner with garlic bread on the senior menu at the Redland Cafe 2 miles down the road for $6.00.

So that tells me that god hasn't been fully sucked in yet. He's still noodling around out there...probably tickling the great attractor with his noodly appendage.

Is ghawd faster than a speeding photon?

Does ghawd know the 11 tone scale of string theory?

Does ghawd ever get tired of SCat's impatient natterings?

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?




I gotz ta know!

elderolddog Wrote:
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> Is ghawd faster than a speeding photon?

Higgs Boson.

> Does ghawd know the 11 tone scale of string
> theory?

Kaku to you.

> Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the
> bedpost overnight?

It improves it. The darkness matters.

Dark Flavor.

What a dark sense of humor you have, Neil!

And I imagine the black hole that consumed him formed because Elohim tried to divide by zero. Don't try it anywhere, kids.

What's the Roman Numeral of zero?

Nulla, nada, nothin'.

The Romans never had a zero because they thought nothing of it.

And as Kolob slid like a corkscrew into the vast sticky blackness it was heard very clearly by scientists everywhere on the radar, "Jesus Christ! What's HAAAAaaaaapppeeeeeeniiiiiiiiiiiing?"

QUICK!

Do a charcoal rendering of this event!

Is this how god became the flying spaghetti monster?

Haha. I never thought of the tie in at first.

I guess there was no Holy Collander covering the black hole to save Elohim and the Kolobians. You would think the Big G. would have thought of that being all omniscient and all--- and had Peter James and John go down and create one, complete with Dinosaur bones. So that Lucifer could try to destroy it and then when called out on that, say, "I'm just doing what was done in other black holes."