It is a cultural thing. Some cultures practice spanking to discipline their kids. There is a positive global trend that countries ban it.

https://sweden.se/society/smacking-banned-since-1979/

Personally I was never spanked as a kid but I remember two times I was physically disciplined. When I was around the age of five I was frustrated and bit one of my older cousins in her arm and was heavily shaken by my cousins mother. She grabbed me and told me some very serious word at the same time. Another time my mother pulled me in my hair after I had did some serious thing. Do not remember what it was, but I remember it was a very disrespectful thing I did.

It is a bit paradoxical in a very indirect way, that the measures in a progressive country carried such great consequences that it in some strange way scared the parents to harshly discipline their kids to not suffer the legal consequences. Parenthood and family life was much more planned in those days. They wanted to create a welfare society called ”Folkhemmet”.

Personally I am pro-ban. I hate violence. Most of my youth I had pathological hate. It created patterns of neurosis that never seemed to go away. My autistic friction-making put me in situations that was threatening. Sat down once and counted physical violent and psychological violent episodes I remeber had experienced and it ended up in the hundreds.

But the question of domestic violence is a very critical once because in some religious circles there is an axiom that says you should never put the ”lamp” there or let light shine in.

I’m not Mormon, but I grew up in a household where spanking was the main form of punishment besides yelling. It went on for too long and my father, who was the main spanker, felt entitled to slap and hit me until I was almost 21. I finally told him he had no right to hit me and the next time, I would have him arrested. He’s been dead since 2014 and I still have anger related to that abuse.

I also went to a school where it was allowed and had a teacher who would paddle kids in front of the whole class with a paddle shaped like a whale. He called it giving them a whaling. It happened to me once. I remembered it didn’t hurt, but it was very humiliating. I also don’t think the punishment fit the crime. I got paddled for telling the girl next to me my paper, which she was grading, would be messy. That was forty years ago and I still get angry when I think about it, especially since my father wanted to spank me again when I got home. Mom stopped him.

I stop short of saying spankings are never appropriate, but I do think they are overused and often a lazy discipline solution. I think they should be a last resort. And I think they can cause lingering resentment and issues. Anyone who hits me now had better kill me.

I find it interesting that many people consider a man who spanks his wife abusive, but they have no issues with an adult spanking a child. Children are usually smaller than their parents and have a much harder time asking for help when there is abuse.

I also can no longer tolerate people who verbally abuse me with yelling.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2021 04:16AM by knotheadusc.

My siblings and I were reared with moderate spanking.

When I neared my first child's birth, I did a lot of research and found that 1) there is no evidence that children spanked become better adults, and 2) there is evidence that physical punishment creates worse adults. I then approached an elderly man whom I respected--a bishop, actually--and asked him how he had raised his seven children.

He said that he'd spanked the first few, then been told by an even older gentlemen that it would not help his kids at all. So to the later children, the bishop never raised a hand at all. He now told me that the change in rearing techniques had made no difference to how the kids turned out and hence the only question that remained was whether the parent wanted to cause the child unnecessary pain.

I think that is a good way to look at the practice. Lot and I have never punished our children physically.

Never.

I think I read a study that children who were spanked never want to be wrong as adults - fear of spanking lingers. Can’t say I’ve seen any evidence to support that.

I take it you were spanked as a child?

Knothead, how sad. I'm amazed that you are such a strong person now!

Want to bet they don't prosecute those who smoke around minors for child endangerment?

Spanking an unruly kid is much less harmful than exposing them to tobacco smoke.

Two wrongs do not make a right. Both are harmful. And there are laws regarding second hand smoke.

If you think spanking is okay because you got spanked and you turned out all right, you did not in fact turn out all right.

Brilliant.

slskipper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Two wrongs do not make a right. Both are harmful.
> And there are laws regarding second hand smoke.
>
> If you think spanking is okay because you got
> spanked and you turned out all right, you did not
> in fact turn out all right.


I got spanked and M/D both smoked. I turned out alright, alright, alright.......

I have to get me one of these - https://awesomethreadz.com/products/wooden-spoon-survivor

I could go on for hours. Growing up in the 1960's, my mother was a frustrated TBM mother/housewife. More often than not, those frustrations were taken out on me. I can't begin to count how many wooden spoons or rubber spatulas (stung like hell!!) were broken on my ass. For convenience, she carried a wooden spoon in her purse for easy access when she wasn't at home.

My father once told me he hardly remembered a morning where us kids didn't leave for school in tears. He was scared of her too, and when she would start in every morning, that was his cue to get out of the house and off to work. He apologized to me later in life for not putting a stop to it. Every day I would come home from school and pause to gather myself at the front door. I never knew what monster was on the other side. Some of my friends' fond memories is of her chasing me through the house swinging a broom at me. She used to tell my school teachers at parent/teacher night that if I ever got out of line they had her permission to beat me.

I used to keep track. The all-time record was 33 consecutive days of being hit, smacked, spanked, beaten, etc., in some form. There were times where I was beaten so hard and for so long that I would stop crying because I couldn't feel the pain any more. That would really piss her off, so I would "fake cry" in an effort to get her to stop.

The most frustrating part is that I was a good kid!! I was too fucking afraid to be otherwise. I would see my friends with their mothers and wonder what it would be like to live in a house of love instead of a house of fear. Later in life my mother told me that it was BECAUSE of the beatings she gave me that I turned out as good as I did. I just shook my head and told her that if she EVER laid a hand on my kids like she did me...I would kill her. The chain broke with me.

I could go on for hours.

This is heartbreaking.

I am so sorry, Jaxson. (((Hugs)))

Congratulations for breaking the cycle of abuse!

My parents didn't spank for the most part, but the sister just older than I was difficult. (She's still a bit off, in my opinion.) She developed a fascination with matches at about four, which persisted until she was maybe six. From what I am told decades after the fact, the fascination was more centered upon the idea that a tiny stick with a red bulb on the end could be used to make a little flame than with causing roaring bonfires or worse, but we all know that small flames can quickly engulf into much larger ones.

My parents reasoned with my sister ad nauseum. They took her to sites of homes destroyed by fire. They showed her pictures of burn victims. They once even took her to the grave of someone who had died in a house fire. Still she would light matches when she could gain access to them. Matches were stored under lock and key in our home, but other families didn't find it necessary, and kids were in and out of each other's houses on our street all day.

My parents also tried consequences. They deprived my sister of everything she loved. They tried keeping her at home (grounding her), but my mom wasn't very hands-on, and my sister would eventually escape, plus all the kids in the neighborhood walked to and from school each day. We later learned, for that matter, that school was one of her greatest sources for matches. No teacher or employee at the elementary school in Laie would have been brave enough to smoke AT school, but the office and teachers' lounge often had scented candles burning. My sister knew where the matches were stored.

Finally my dad told her he would spank her if she was caught with matches or there was evidence of her having used them. If she'd just been a bit smarter, she could have flushed all her evidence, but she was never the sharpest crayon. She was caught, he spanked her, and as far as anyone knows, that was the end of the problem, though each time a California wildfire of unknown origin pops up, I wonder abut her whereabouts at the time it started.

I don't fault my dad for that one time, as he'd tried everything else he could think of, but I also believe the overall decision not to spank was wise. I was a large and strong child, and I suspect I would have used my size advantage to take it out on my peers if someone had been pounding on me at home.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2021 12:41AM by scmd1.

OPie needs spanking ~



ziller wood like to see that ~



plz post links to pics ~

Mormon parents used to spank my sisters and I when we were little. They varied between that and yelling at us. Didn't make us good kids; it made us scared and angry ones.

The Mormon perspective is that kids choose their families "in the pre-existence," so they claim it's the kids' fault for being born into crappy families. FUBAR, right?

Growing up a threat of dad's belt was essentially enough. In school growing up the cane was delivered frequently, usually three across each palm or six on the rear end. These were delivered by the worst teachers with windup leaving red raised welts. It was not uncommon to see the cane spilt or break in the process. Somehow it always seemed to be the same kids getting the stripes which would suggest that while painful it had no long term value.

A slap across the face was common as was being on the end of a well thrown chalk eraser hurled from across the room. Mr.Squires school for boys had nothimg on ours.

My TBM narcissistic mother was an enthusiastic smacker in private. She often broke wooden spoons and rulers on one of my brothers and would” slap” me as she called it for anything she deemed a misdemeanour.

But out in public to maintain her perfect facade she would administer a vicious pinch. I can still remember her face of bewildered innocence as I cried after any of her pinches and everyone around absolved her of blame for causing the distress.

I thought this was going to be a thread about eating.

Swedish meatballs?

Swedish meatballs are not punishment.

Lutefisk. Yeah, Norwegian, but close enough.

Heard about Surströmming?

Rotten fish in can.

My good mormon father beat the hell out of us--mostly his older kids, not so much the younger ones. My (ex)husband's father did too. I wish I could say I never spanked my own kids because of the fear of my father that his abuse instilled in me, but I can't. I guess I justified it at the time because they got nothing compared to what I used to get and it was rare compared to my childhood. My husband and I did, however, argue about his pounding on them--it was too much for me. I look back on it now and have absolutely NO justification for ever being a receiver or giver of corporal punishment, maybe with the exception of a couple times one of them did something that could have caused major injury. But if it is saved for times like that, it gets their attention.

It makes me cringe now when I see a child being physically punished. And I look back on my own childhood and see how badly it messed with my self esteem. I spent so many years trying so hard to gain acceptance from my father--just wanted to do one thing that made him proud. Never did, I was never good enough for him. It's easy to see now how abusive he was and how the fact that I did things that he wasn't pleased with is a credit to me. Child abuse laws need to be very strict, even in families and there should be no reason ever for corporal punishment in schools. It is changing because we are learning, progressing, and not accepting abuse.

> Child abuse laws need to be very strict, even
> in families and there should be no reason ever for
> corporal punishment in schools. It is changing
> because we are learning, progressing, and not
> accepting abuse.

Absolutely! Very well stated.

I'm having a senior moment as I stand here in the store waiting for my new parachute...

What's the scripture that has the phrase something along the lines of, "... and then showing forth an increase of love..."?

D&C 121:43

"Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;"

Well, rats. I was hoping it said “...kicking the crap out of ... and then showing forth afterwards...”

That's the original version. It went the way of "white and delightsome."