I attended my son's doctoral graduation (I am so proud :)) and of course the narcissistic pompous TBM Ex came too. We were all nice and took pictures. This is our son's special event.
Afterwards all the friends and family (small as it is the pandemic times) the Ex comes by and we exchange greetings and then he launches into informing me that 'WE did not finish our divorce'. What? That was done back in 1996. Apparently his attorney-- as he was the petitioner-- and we did not finish the final property/assets part so while we are 'divorced' it is not settled. (Guess he did not keep paying for his attorney) He only found this out because he is trying to access his 401K from a job he had for about 8 years during our marriage time. He cannot get it until he has a final divorce decree. Anyway he has been trying to figure a way to get all his 401K without letting me know about it- I did not even know it existed. He was talking in circles trying to say that all I had to do was sign off on this online with the courts-it is not much money he says. Come to find out -it is way more money at stake then he is letting on. So I hired my own attorney and will get this all sorted out. He is so dishonest. This is so typical of him to be shady in his dealings. I asked my son who is also a bishop if he would give a person like his dad a temple recommend? And he said NO. I just want this nightmare to end.
Depending on your state, you could be entitled to half of that money. Also, you should probably go over the rest of the accounts since if you didn't finalize the division of assets there may be other sizeable assets that belong to you.
Since they don’t want to be called Mormons anymore, how about if we all refer to it as “The Church of Greed” or “The Church of Greed of Latter Day Saints”. The shoe fits, doesn’t it?
In Mormonism, money equals righteousness so his ripping you off makes him more righteous. So I guess the honeymoon is over.
I'm sorry that this happened to you, and I am glad that you have a lawyer to represent your interests.
A good friend of mine has some unfinished business from her long-ago divorce, and every now and then I try to gently remind her that it might come back to bite her.
20 years after my divorce I tried to sell some land only to be told I had to split it with my ex.
Fortunately I had a wonderful attorney who correctly filed all the divorce paperwork and when I submitted my 20 year old de ree the escrow folks said ok and processed everything without needing to share with the ex.
A good attorney can be worth their weight in gold.
Sold our home during the divorce and we filed separately that year. I filed my exchange of property form (can't remember exact name) but I was done. 3 months later my ex calls me in the middle of night frantically telling me the IRS is after both us over the house. I said, "we?,I'm fine". I let her sweat for a while and then faxed over the form I sent to the IRS. You would think I would get points for that but after everything was settled with the IRS, the feud was back on.