Been out for 15+ years and just attended my first Mormon wedding (niece's) since being out. It was in Arizona and of course it was hot as hell for those of us standing outside waiting for the grand exit from the temple. Knowing what goes on inside, and that being one of my reasons for leaving, made me chuckle as the other nevermos were thinking they were missing some elaborate ceremony.

Because there were so many non mormons, they held a ring ceremony. Although that was a nice gesture, I found it offensive. The "officiator" was a friend of the grooms. He was very clear that the ring ceremony was simply for show and that the "real ceremony" took place earlier at the temple. He emphasized that he had no powers regarding officiating the ring ceremony. The couple even made funny faces while exchanging rings which was offensive to the nevermo family members who travelled from afar to witness it.

Maybe it is my hypercriticism of the church and my family members who remain in its grips. I have declined to attend all my other niece and nephew weddings in the past for this reason but finally relented. I definitely will not attend any more.

On a good note, my other exmo brother and I took a funny selfie with the temple in the background.

I think a lot of times TBMs have no idea how they come off to nevermos. What is normal to Mormons can be extremely offensive to nevermos. It's not just the temple weddings. It's the side-eye if you are drinking coffee, tea, or alcohol, the shunning, the clannishness, the dead-dunking of non-Mormons, etc.

adamisfree2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The couple even
> made funny faces while exchanging rings which was
> offensive to the nevermo family members who
> travelled from afar to witness it.

But can you imagine the funny faces of the nevermos had they been allowed into the temple?

(Then again, they had probably watched the online temple exposés so many times--and in disbelief--that it all wouldn't have seemed nearly as comical.)

Guess they never got word that Rusty errrr god changed his mind and you can have a nice wedding outside the temple followed by sealing later.

I like your screen name. Adam is free indeed. I too left for one of the main reasons being the ceremonies or the death oaths. Just the fact that there were even death oaths in the first place bothered me greatly.

Anyways, Adam is free.

If the participants truly believe it then who are we to deny them their agency?
If they want to exclude me then I don't want to be there!!
Well maybe I want to be there but it is so arrogant of them to deny!!

I made sure I got there a half hour after it supposedly started so that I got there about when she got done. I did get there when the guests were filing out. I was there when my daughter came and I was the first at the door. In terms of just being there, that was more difficult than I thought. Being there on the temple grounds of the temple I got married in. It didn't help when my "husband's" sister came up to me and told me how beautiful it was. I don't like his family except one brother.

My sister was smart enough not to say anything. I had actually told her (as we weren't getting along at the time) that I NEEDED her in there to represent me as she is the only member of the family who is mormon other than a disabled brother. There were only my boyfriend, my husband, his boyfriend, and I outside the temple. I just wanted to get away.

Then my aunt who is extremely TBM sent me an e-mail giving me a play by play of the whole event inside the temple including the number of stairs up to the sealing room--like I didn't married in the temple?????? I was furious and it was a really bad PTSD trigger. I had a vision in my own brain of my daughter in there that day--and only her. I didn't visualize even her groom. That was MY LITTLE GIRL and I raised her mostly by myself. I gave everything a mother possibly could give a child--and how dare ANYONE say I wasn't worthy.

I know for a fact that my daughter would have still wanted to get married in the temple first and not just get sealed. I would have felt that way. They changed it 2 months after she got married. She had the right to get married as she saw fit, just like I did.

A few months prior, I went to my boyfriend's son's Jewish wedding on top of a mountain in Keystone, Colorado. They had 3 days of celebrations and the place they were married was absolutely gorgeous. Can't even compare the 2 weddings.