I found this video delightfully illuminating: https://youtu.be/Xb20q9sfIOw

Every neurodivergent person has struggled with the “neurotypicals” or the “normies” in some way, and this video is a funny take on reversing the rhetoric is very instructive about what Asperger’s is and how neurotypicals think differently from us more logical folk.

I have questions about Asperger’s and Mormonism and specifically how they intersect on the issues of scrupulosity and apostasy.

I’m wondering if “Aspie w/ side of ADD forced to mask in unnatural ways by overbearing and ungrateful parents who tried to micromanage his thoughts and feelings every step of the way like abject narcissists” isn’t the most concise way to explain myself to someone who wonders what my deal is.

First, if this video had been prepared and presented in written form with loose citations to the psychology and social science literature, it would likely have been peer-reviewed and enthusiastically published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology as the basis for a new research program.

https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/psp/
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"I’m wondering if “Aspie w/ side of ADD forced to mask in unnatural ways by overbearing and ungrateful parents who tried to micromanage his thoughts and feelings every step of the way like abject narcissists” isn’t the most concise way to explain myself to someone who wonders what my deal is."

COMMENT: I cannot comment on your personal experience, of course, but the broader point it seems to me is that you do not have to explain yourself to anyone! If your "deal" is different on its face, such that *you* feel a need to provide some explanation, so be it; but, "I am who I am" seems sufficient to me. Moreover, anything beyond that will likely be quite superficial, if not just false.

Finally, I suspect that the actions of your parents, whatever their shortcomings might have been, were motivated by an intent to provide you with the best opportunity possible to have a 'normal,' happy, and contented life, notwithstanding what personal challenges you might face along the way to adulthood. Newsflash, that is what all good parents try to do; even when they raise their children in a false religious cult like Mormonism. I don't define or explain myself by appealing to my parents' mistakes; and perhaps neither should you!

Keep in mind that I am not a psychologist and don't even play one on TV, so take the above for what it is worth.

I think if this whenever people tell me my folks meant the best: https://youtu.be/JDTnPxekoxo

Annalisa had a personality disorder. Her parents thought she had a demon. How did it get to this point that it inspired one of the most successful excorcism movies of all time? Well, she loved her parents, imitated them, convinced herself she was possessed, they reinforced it because they were bigoted ingoramouses — sorry, I’m mean pious and devout people of faith — and everything went downhill from there. Her parents loved and her and meant the best. Nobody wants to believe that because the outcome is so horrible, but it’s true. What loving parent wants their kid to be possessed by devils? A loving parent would do anything to save their daughter’s soul even if it’s too late for her body.

I am not DID. But I was sucked into Mormonism pretty hard. It exploited my weaknesses. I made me sing and dance like the happiest Mormon even when I was anything but. I want to know how I tick. It interests me. Also, talking about this stuff does not feel awkward to me anymore. I’ve been swimming in awkward soup for a long time, and had I never said anything to anyone about my subjective experience, I would still be Mormon mind slave if I was still on earth anymore at all.

I wish American notions of good parenting included an obligation to keep it real with the facts, with objective reality, where the child’s welfare was concerned. I’m ok today, because I’m pretty smart despite my challenges and I pulled through but there was a time I was not ok and there are other stories like mine that end tragically. I think about Mr. Eliason, the father of the Idaho boy that killed himself over just masturbation guilt. I’ve met other parents of similar suicides in person. None of them make the argument that they were just doing their best: just the parents of the kids who narrowly avoided that fate say that shit as an ass-covering excuse for let ecclesiastical dictation overrule their own common sense. Unfortunately we live in a country where churches and cults have a lot of power and legal leeway via the first amendment, and historically they’ve gotten away with murder and child rape. They still do, actually. Parents consent to the conditions that allow these abuses because these religions make it feel like the best thing to do.

I know my parents meant well, but I was objectively not well. I think there are many Mormons who are kept from good mental health counseling only because they know not where to find it, and mine was just a tad more extreme than usual because of an undiagnosed disorder or two. But that’s not the say the typical Mormon experience of psycho-sexual development is a healthy one generally.

I spoke with an old friend who I had tried to baptize on my mission. She’s a master of psychology now. She’s got two masters and she’s finishing her PhD. She works with inmates in her local penal system. She told me that when they gather statistics on mental health they deliberately identify and dismiss the Mormons because they skew the data towards the negative end that badly. On the surface that’s comical, but then it breaks my heart to think there’s people that feel anything like what I was feelings at the height of misery and before my turnaround. But statistically, there are hundreds of thousands of people like me in the church right now who will never get the help the need because Mormon culture is antagonistic towards any science or professional who challenges the idea that bad feelings are a sign of sin. That ought to be criminal.

Rewatching the video. Christ. I’m only comparing myself to this in the sense that my pious parents were my problem. They were the reason my mental health was deteriorating at the age of 21. Annalise may have been fine if she had been adopted by other parents. Maybe. Who knows. It makes me wonder why we coddle religious lunatics the way that we do.