Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
Whatever works for them...wonder how their local leaders feel about them being so public?
https://www.ladbible.com/community/interesting-gay-man-and-straight-wife-keep-marriage-on-track-with-sex-discussions-20211108?c=1636378607041&fbclid=IwAR0_dR-IGsbIGUdWv-zL2wTX8Jb8vnoXXYaFeQVJqYfJ_DKoccyGzV9oCEc
https://www.ladbible.com/community/interesting-gay-man-and-straight-wife-keep-marriage-on-track-with-sex-discussions-20211108?c=1636378607041&fbclid=IwAR0_dR-IGsbIGUdWv-zL2wTX8Jb8vnoXXYaFeQVJqYfJ_DKoccyGzV9oCEc
I know there is another post but the LDS angle is interesting.
Most Mormons I know over a certain age find homosexuality extremely difficult to deal with. And in their ranks they can't tolerate it well. Given that their leadership are all well into older ages it makes sense.
But my BIL who is as TBM as I've seen a man doesn't understand why more Mormons aren't accepting. I feel for the guy. It is like two churches. There are the Mormons who accept homosexuality like they accept anything they think is a "trial" for humans and they don't blame God or the people for those "trials." Then there are the ones for whom God is not tolerant. So the fact that more and more Mormons are not hiding their sexuality intrigues me. It is sort of similar to anti-vaxxers except those Mormons have absolutely no repercussions fort their "trial" and don't think of it in those terms.
But their openness to be against what is deemed worthy in Mormonism amazes me. The conformity of my past seems to be dissolving before my eyes.
Most Mormons I know over a certain age find homosexuality extremely difficult to deal with. And in their ranks they can't tolerate it well. Given that their leadership are all well into older ages it makes sense.
But my BIL who is as TBM as I've seen a man doesn't understand why more Mormons aren't accepting. I feel for the guy. It is like two churches. There are the Mormons who accept homosexuality like they accept anything they think is a "trial" for humans and they don't blame God or the people for those "trials." Then there are the ones for whom God is not tolerant. So the fact that more and more Mormons are not hiding their sexuality intrigues me. It is sort of similar to anti-vaxxers except those Mormons have absolutely no repercussions fort their "trial" and don't think of it in those terms.
But their openness to be against what is deemed worthy in Mormonism amazes me. The conformity of my past seems to be dissolving before my eyes.
They talk as if they have discovered something new and that nobody else has tried it before. Just as an interesting point, my husband NEVER thought I'd have sex outside of marriage. When I got together with my old boyfriend and had sex, he lost it. He was really jealous. He still is. The kids think it is funny. He is 100% homosexual. I am sure of it myself.
At the time I had sex the first time with my old boyfriend, my husband was in a relationship and it was probably the best one he has had, but they are just friends now. He told this boyfriend that I was better at sex than the boyfriend. He was REALLY upset.
We were very close, I knew about it. Shouldn't have included leaders in the situation. We used to lie in bed at night and talk about how we got along better than most couples we knew. We talked about the situation all the time, but we didn't go public. And like I've said, we are best friends, BUT he doesn't want to have sex with me and I don't want to have sex with him as I now know the difference. Actually, it was all so damaging to me, I don't admit to myself I am married to him or that I ever had sex with him. Those 2 kids just happened to come along together and I consider them MINE. I did all the work. I still do most of the work even if they are 36 next Sunday (21st). I know they are his kids, but I have been traumatized by all that happened.
They aren't trying anything new. It has been tried many, many, many times before. My neighbor growing up was obviously gay. I'm sure he never cheated on his wife. He was a wonderful person, but I really doubt his wife knew he is gay. I don't think he ever told anyone. He has a son who is gay and he is about 70 or so. He taught at BYU and he has a boyfriend who he has lived with for about 45 years. My sister dated both of them. We never could figure out what was going on in her relationships with them and then when I found out my future husband is gay, both of us at the same time, blank and blank are GAY. They both worked for BYU. Don't ask me how it all worked out the way it did.
I'd like to talk to them when their oldest turns 10 years old. See where they are then.
At the time I had sex the first time with my old boyfriend, my husband was in a relationship and it was probably the best one he has had, but they are just friends now. He told this boyfriend that I was better at sex than the boyfriend. He was REALLY upset.
We were very close, I knew about it. Shouldn't have included leaders in the situation. We used to lie in bed at night and talk about how we got along better than most couples we knew. We talked about the situation all the time, but we didn't go public. And like I've said, we are best friends, BUT he doesn't want to have sex with me and I don't want to have sex with him as I now know the difference. Actually, it was all so damaging to me, I don't admit to myself I am married to him or that I ever had sex with him. Those 2 kids just happened to come along together and I consider them MINE. I did all the work. I still do most of the work even if they are 36 next Sunday (21st). I know they are his kids, but I have been traumatized by all that happened.
They aren't trying anything new. It has been tried many, many, many times before. My neighbor growing up was obviously gay. I'm sure he never cheated on his wife. He was a wonderful person, but I really doubt his wife knew he is gay. I don't think he ever told anyone. He has a son who is gay and he is about 70 or so. He taught at BYU and he has a boyfriend who he has lived with for about 45 years. My sister dated both of them. We never could figure out what was going on in her relationships with them and then when I found out my future husband is gay, both of us at the same time, blank and blank are GAY. They both worked for BYU. Don't ask me how it all worked out the way it did.
I'd like to talk to them when their oldest turns 10 years old. See where they are then.
Your perspective on this topic and experience is invaluable.
Why is it always seems to be a gay man and straight woman and not the opposite?
It isn't uncommon. You just don't hear about it as much. That is the real question.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/239802428_Straight_Husbands_Whose_Wives_Come_Out_As_Lesbian_or_Bisexual_Men%27s_Voices_Challenge_the_Masculinity_Myth
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/239802428_Straight_Husbands_Whose_Wives_Come_Out_As_Lesbian_or_Bisexual_Men%27s_Voices_Challenge_the_Masculinity_Myth
A lot of gay (and straight) men in my age group (70-ish) got married and fathered hard to keep out of Vietnam. When the war ended, so did the marriage.