Poster "Templar's" comments on Hugh Nibley ("Hugh Nibley was a Bold-faced Liar." RfM, 30 July 2015), rekindled some personal memories I have regarding Martha (posted here before but, for new time's sake, resurrected here for the fresh faces).
_____


--For the record:

The claim has been made, in response to Martha Beck's public assertions, that none of the Nibley family supports her allegations regarding what she says was the sexual molestation of her by her father, Hugh Nibley.

Well, none of the Quorum of the Twelve are willing to admit that Joseph Smith was a sexual exploiter, either.

Martha's memories of being sexually molested by her father (noted in her book "Leaving the Saints") were actually supported by her former husband John Beck--until, according to Martha, he reversed himself during a bitter feud over control of her financial assets and threw his lot in with the Nibley family.

Now, I know John and Martha personally. I've socialized with them, had them over to my house and been over to theirs when they were still married. I have talked with them both about these issues. Martha strikes me as quite credible and believable.
_____


In fact, I have addressed this issue numerous times before, as it has come up on this board. Here's the background, from my personal perspective:

I firsts met Martha in 1993, when she and her then-husband John Beck publicly announced they were leaving their teachings positions at BYU--and exiting the Mormon Church, as well. I became aware of their departure from BYU and the LDS faith while watching a news broadcast on their resignations (before I and my former spouse left the LDS Church later that same year). After viewing the news report, I personally phoned them to congratulate them on their courage.

From my own interaction with Martha over the years, I have found her to be honest, believable, articulate, intelligent, talented, persuasive and credible. She is a Harvard-educated scholar, a published sociologist with recognized expertise in women's studies, a respected and popular book author, a national magazine columnist and an accomplished, versatile artist. (The last time I was in her home, I saw how she had decorated it with her amazing creations). When I went through my own post-divorce emotional upheaval, Martha was there as a strong support and a listening ear. Over the years, I have trusted Martha implicitly, respected her immensely and considered her a friend.

After leaving the Mormon Church, Martha and John moved to the Phoenix area, where she also resettled following the eventual dissolution of their marriage. Living in the same metroplex, I and my ex-wife socialized with the Becks, including visiting their home, and she and John coming to ours.

During these times, we talked at length about Martha's life experiences. Years before eventually writing and publishing her book, "Leaving the Saints," she spoke to me of some of her realities growing up in the Nibley household, focusing particular attention on her encounters with her father.

For instance, she told me of how her father was fundamentally incapable of meaningful, interactive dialogue with his children, saying that when he "spoke" with them, he followed mechanical prompts from 3 x 5 notecards he held in his lap.

She said that, as a child, she was responsible for seeing to it that her siblings got off to school in the morning. She described the Nibley home of her youth as being eerily dark and quiet.

According to what Martha has shared with me, while her father was in some ways was a kind and good man, in other ways he was deeply psychologically unbalanced, emotionally scarred, fundamentally burdened with self-doubt, frustratingly mired in denial, continually seeking throughout in his life approval from the leaders of the Mormon Church and its members--and absolutely capable of committing the sexual abuse that Martha describes as having occurred.

Martha spoke of her father as someone who, in her opinion, had been deeply pschyologically damaged, probably by his personal experiences in World War II military intelligence. She told me how once when walking outdoors with him as a child, he suddenly appeared to have a post-traumatic stress episode and ordered her to lay down and take protective cover. She did not tell me exactly what events during WWII may have been had a severe impact on her father's mental health but expressed the opinion that they may have been connected to possible involvement in abusive treatment of non-combatant civilians.

Martha also told me of how she had attempted to get her father to substantively address his sexual abuse of her but that the effort was futile, with him shutting down and becoming incommunicative. This failed effort was confirmed and described to me by a member of the extended Nibley family who had been involved in this attempted intervention and with whom I spoke personally.

Martha told me her father had decided many years before (regardless of the evidence put forward against the Mormon Church by its critics) that he would always defend the LDS Church, despite any counter evidences mounted against its claims. She told me that her father was psychologically dependent on the support and admiration he received from the BYU students he taught, that he thrived on their adulation of him and that he needed their constant reinforcement to bolster his self-esteem.

With regard to his decades of devoted Mormon apologia (particularly his writings on the Book of Abraham), Martha told me that she found it curious and inexplicable how devout Mormons--when observing her Down Syndrome child Adam engage in primitive childhood vocalizations--would regard them as "gobble-de-gook," but that when her father spoke Mormon apologetic gobble-de-gook, they declared it to be divinely inspired.

I spent a good amount of time over the years talking with Martha about the experiences she eventually wrote about in "Leaving the Saints." Based on the consistency of her accounts over that period, I regard her claims of sexual abuse that she says occurred at the hands of her father to be compelling, true, reliable, consistent and evidentiarily sound--both as she has laid them out in her book and as she has relayed then to me personally in great detail before and after the book was published.

In describing what she calls her father's sexual abuse of her, she detailed to me how she remembers her father's face physically above her--with her hands immobilized--and how she then experienced a sharp pain in her vaginal area. In this context, she told me that her father believed he was engaging in higher spiritual connection with God through his study of ancient Egyptian religious/sexual rites and that she was utilized by him as a vehicle in those exploratory studies.

Martha's explicit descriptions of what she says took place (and when) at the hands of her father were spoken to me from her heart--and I have no doubt that they were actually experienced by her. Attempts by some in her family and other Mormon Church defenders to discredit her are, in my opinion, baseless, vindictive and, in some cases, driven by greed and jealousy. Martha told me later that her mother confided in her that Martha's father (according to Martha's account) was capable of doing what she described in her book as having had occurred.

During the times that Martha and John visited with us, John never disputed a single word of Martha's account. Later (and attendant to their divorce proceedings in which money became a significant issue of dispute), John began to openly criticize Martha's version of events that she said she experienced at the hands of her father.

It is important to emphasize that Martha's claim of sexual abuse by her father is not limited to recovered memory alone. Martha strongly reiterated to me that ever since she was a small child she has had memories of experiences related to her abuse by her father which she was eventually able to put into proper perspective and context.

Combined with that, Martha lays claim to evidence of severe physical trauma and scarring in her genital area that, contrary to some attempts at explanation, did not come from playing on the jungle gym as a little girl.

Martha compares the basis for her contention that she was sexually molested by her father to a three-legged stool. One leg of the stool are recovered memories, another leg of the stool are memories she has always had and the third leg of the stool are physical evidences of significant sexual injury.

This combination of evidence has also been a subject about which I have spoken with one of Martha's cousins, who firmly supports the veracity of Martha's claims and who has been steadfast in defending Martha against efforts to discredit her. This cousin personally told me that she was present in a setting where Martha attempted to have her father acknowlege to her the truthfulness of the charges she had made against him. *Martha told me that during this episode her father was detached, unemotional, unfocused and unresponsive, refusing to deal with the issues in any meaningful way).

Amazingly, for all she has been through, Martha speaks of her horrible abuse experiences with dignity, calmness, candor and stoicism, but I have nonetheless seen the anger spark in her eyes and heard her voice rise in indignation when she sees people attack her character, malign her account of what happened and dishonestly or ignorantly assail the people who mean the most to her. (I never met Hugh Nibley, so I cannot speak from any personal experience about him. I did, however, spot him once at a Mormon Church meeting in the Provo area, however. He was sitting towards the back, where I was also, in the cultural hall area behind the chapel, looking gangly and disheveled). Despite searing criticsm from members of her family along with with that from bands of Mormon faithful, Martha personally told me how the criticism has actually made her stronger and that she is at peace with herself.

When her father died in 2005, I received an early morning phone call from Martha, informing me of his passing and asking me if I wouldn't mind speaking in her defense to a reporter from "People Magazine." I told her unhesitatingly that I would (especially when she added that some of her friends were not willing to go public in her defense because of their fears of personal recrimination).

The following article, written by Michelle Green and entitled "Leaving Home: In a New Book, Author Martha Beck Accuses Her Father, a Mormon Scholar, of Sex Abuse," appeared in "People Magazine," (11 April 2005, vol. 63, no. 14):

"When Martha Beck receives the shattering phone call that everyone with an elderly parent half expects, she is sitting in her kitchen in Phoenix, talking about her provocative memoir 'Leaving the Saints.' Author of the 1999 bestseller 'Expecting Adam,' about her experience with a son born with Down syndrome, Beck has crafted a new book documenting the spiritual disenchantment that led to her break with the Mormon church. And there is more: In her book Beck alleges that she was molested by her father, Dr. Hugh Nibley--a prominent Mormon scholar and historian.

"Now . . . one of Beck's seven siblings is calling to say that Nibley, 94, has died. Wiping tears from her blue eyes, Beck, 42, says that she was told her father's last words were, 'I love Martha so much. She's my favorite.'

"Even as Nibley lay dying in Provo, Utah, he knew that Beck---a Harvard Ph.D., sociologist and 'O' magazine columnist who calls herself a 'life coach'--was going public with the accusations of 'ritual sexual abuse' that she had made privately years before.

"Now Beck confides that she had felt 'an overwhelming wave of peacefulness' when she was meditating earlier that morning. 'It would have been when he was dying,' she adds softly.

"But if Beck is feeling at peace, it is in spite of the maelstrom around her. Even before her book, subtitled 'How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith,' was published . . ., Mormons rushed to protest the fact that she wrote about sacred rituals, including her wedding (to John Beck, now 45 and the father other children Kate, 19, Adam, 16, and Lizzy, 14). They also hastened to defend Nibley, professor emeritus of ancient scripture at Brigham Young University. Church members conducted a campaign to send anti-Beck e-mails to Oprah, and Kim Farah, a church spokeswoman, told PEOPLE, 'Fair-minded readers will find ["Leaving the Saints"] at best unconvincing, at worst mean-spirited and at times absurd.'

"In addition, all of Beck's siblings have signed a statement claiming that the 'portrayal of our family [in the book] is false.' Says brother Alex, 49, a filmmaker: 'We stand together and say we saw no evidence of this abuse.'

"By Beck's account her siblings never witnessed the molestation, which began when she was 5 and continued until she was 8. 'What I remember [of the first incident] is this,' she says now. 'My mother had taken my little sister to the doctor and my other siblings were at school. My father told me that I had to have a special bath . . . and then,' she sighs, 'he tied my hands together and put them over my head. He was saying it was an Abrahamic sacrifice he had to make.'

"Beck describes 'having my legs shoved apart' and experiencing 'this horrible, horrible pain' that would produce ragged scar tissue gynecologists would note in later years. The memories did not stay with her; though she says she suffered from anorexia and depression, she remembered nothing of the abuse during the first eight years of her marriage to Beck, a professor and author, while they were studying at Harvard and later teaching at Brigham Young. (The two separated in 1993; Beck and the children now live with her partner, Arizona State University professor Karen Gerdes, 48.)

"It was in 1991, when her daughter Katie was 5, says Beck, that she began having 'these vivid flashbacks that crashed in on me like a wave.' Seeing her elder daughter at the same age, she theorizes, triggered the memories of the abuse: 'It was sensory, it was visual, it was overwhelming.'

"Knowing that the images were connected to her father, Beck first called her mother, Phyllis (who, Beck claims, initially said she believed the charges and then recanted); she then confronted her father in 1993. His response, she says: 'To think that my own child would act in league with Satan . . .'

"But if her family brushed off Beck's claims, others have not. Steve Benson, an editorial cartoonist for the 'Arizona Republic,' has known Martha and John Beck since 1993, and, like them, he and his [former] wife, Mary Ann, have left the church. 'I believe Martha,' he says now. 'Years ago she told us about the sexual abuse. She wasn't sensational about it. She also told us her family was in deep denial.'

"Like any memoirist who claims the title of life coach, Beck--whose oeuvre also includes self-help guides like 'The Joy Diet' and 'Finding Your Own North Star'-—is able to see the hope that shines through the horror of her story. 'It was hard as hell to write it,' she says, 'but with every page there seemed to be a more clear space in me where there had been pain.'"



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 07/31/2015 10:24AM by steve benson.

Thanks, Steve, for refreshing the issue--and was wondering:'where is Steve these days?"

About 30-35 years ago, I read an article in the L.A. Times about Hugh Nibley.

The article focused on his defense of the Book of Mormon or Book or Abraham -- I can't recall which.

A reporter asked Nibley what secular Egyptologists and other academics thought of his Nibley's analysis.

Nibley replied, "Oh, non-Mormon Egyptologists don't like to investigate anything related to Joseph Smith. Those that do become Mormon."

Nibley was then asked to name a few Egyptologists that had become LDS by studying Joseph Smith but Nibley was unable to cite anyone.

For me, I concluded then and there that Nibley was a total bullshit artist and would lie for the Lord at any cost.

Reality Check Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For me, I concluded then and there that Nibley was
> a total bullshit artist and would lie for the Lord
> at any cost.

You concluded correctly.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Martha's writing in the Oprah Magazine, and in her books was a great support to me as I was leaving the church. The issues she writes about (boundaries, relationships, self-esteem, self-care, assertiveness, etc . . .) are things that many women struggle with, ESPECIALLY mormon and ex-mormon women.

As noted, I worked for a time in an alcohol and drug rehab with an adolescent track (I was the school teacher and worked on a grad degree in addictions, roughly equivalent to an MSW).

What I saw I'm not sure human eyes were intended to see, period, in terms of the "psychopathology" of sexual abuse survivors. That's why every reputable and competent therapist needs to have a therapist of their own they trust who's highly skilled (probably most aren't unfortunately).

There's no way that Martha could describe the experiences she detailed without having undergone them. It's simply outside the realm of anyone's "cognitive reality," period. I've undergone similar therapy for my own "shame-based upbringing" (the toxic quality of LDS culture affects everyone around it, even "technical nevermo's" like myself). The "affect," the physical sensations, and everything else can't be faked or understood otherwise.

Martha is a very skilled writer, but I am as well, and until I "did my own work," anything I would've "said" about the experience would've been essentially shallow and inauthentic with elements of denial.

'Nuff said...

And now Steve, since you reminded me about my car trouble (hey, some of us are financially challenged), how about getting me back my copy of "Leaving the Saints"? That way I can lend out my paperbound copy to someone who needs it. Signed would be best, of course; that was my original request (and the reason you got that free cab ride ;-).

I think I sent you my parent's address, which is easiest. Let me know...

Glad you had a vacation... I only "gelded" one pain-in-the-patoot sort here in your absence, but I've left some other roadkill elsewhere on the web.

In the name of Dr. F. himself...

Fair 'nuff.

I saw the crash of your back window.

We all have our challenges. :)

During WWII Hugh Nibley worked as a spy. He was brilliant enough to learn close to 14 languages and disorganized enough that no one ever caught on to him. He was dropped behind enemy lines and he would immediately be able to mimic the dialect, the local habits and he always rode a bicycle.

My father took some courses from him at BYU after the war and said he was pretty much off on another planet most of the time.

He would ride his bike around campus with a baby in the front basket, probably scared out of it's mind. Absolutely no thought for the baby's safety.

He came into class one day wearing combat boots and a suit and his opening words were "Now on the other hand....." No one ever found out what was on the "first hand" as he often started his
lectures before he ever walked into the classroom.

I totally believe Martha. She was a camp counselor at aspen grove
camp that we went to in the early 80's. Extremely bright.

My father was the biggest child abuser that ever lived. Only a few years ago after my father died, did I find out that he had
violently raped my oldest son...His grandson. At the time it happened when he was just barely 3 years old, we knew something had happened because I spent 8 days in the hospital with him after they discovered, accidentally, a great deal of damage that had to be repaired. The pathetic part was that he had molested me several times so I watched him like a hawk when he was near my
daughter, and yet dumb enough to not even realize that men did that to little boys. My son told me later that he never said it was my dad until he was dead because he was afraid of what I might do to my father. LOL He wasn't worried about him, he just
didn't want to see me have to go to jail. He knew I would believe him.

Then I found out he had molested one of my other son's. I would classify him as a serial pedophile. Yet
everyone at church loved him and "daddy dearest" was laid to rest
in full temple garb.

. . . hunched over on the edge of a folding chair.

Completely disheveled.

Baggy white socks down around his ankles.

Rumpled suit.

Wild hair. . .

On the other hand, it might have been Beethoven.

Nah, Hugh was a lot skinnier than Ludwig.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/31/2015 11:17PM by steve benson.

I forgot about the time he was a guest lecturer for my BofM class at BYU. It was a huge class and everything came to us on a large screen as I think there were about 200 students total. He spent the entire hour accidentally turning the mike off or turning the camera off. Very uncomfortable with the technology aspect. And you could see his anxiety level rising and extreme frustration at not being able to deliver a smoothe flowing lecture.

Glad you haven't deserted the board Steve.

I read both Expecting Adam and Leaving the Saints. Both of those books meant a great deal to me. I read Expecting Adam before I found out that my brother's first son had microcephaly and I was working my way out of TSCC when I read Leaving the Saints. I'm grateful for Martha's work and her willingness to share everything even the truly horrific. I also want to thank you Steve for defending her, she's lucky to have you as a friend. The Mormon Church is more than happy to protect and promote pedophiles, I have heard and seen other instances of it, that is why I believe Martha.

I was trying to put the whole story together in my mind, and I realized that Martha Nibley would have turned 5 years old in 1967. That's exactly when her father would have been under serious internal pressure to make sense of the Book of Abraham scrolls.

I have never heard anyone support Martha's claim until now. When I was TBM it was thought that she was crazy and possessed. Hugh Nibley was a sick F#@k. Glad he's dead.

Thank you Steve for sharing this experience with me. At least I have yet some more ammo to throw at my TBM family next get together.

*Speaking* as a fellow survivor, I do tend to believe until I have a good reason not to.

I believe Martha Beck. Always have. I've had her book on my Kindle wish list for several years, but I keep postponing getting it... I'm afraid it might make me re-live too much. Does that make sense? I'm wondering if it would help me or hurt...

I don't know, Anon. It might. If you can, ask a therapist if you're in a safe enough space to be able to read it. If not, then don't. Although as I remember it, the majority of the book is about other aspects of her life.

I remember seeing Hugh Nibley on BYU campus. The Editor of BYU Today thought he was brilliant but when I saw Nibley, he looked like a weird homeless guy or vagabond.

One of my brothers "studied his way out of the church" via a Nibley-ite prof at BYU. It turned out Nib's mentee prof was cheating on his wife. My brother was disgusted with the whole lot of them, and the so-called convoluted "mysteries." The mystery was why anyone would read fake scriptures to begin with...

Professionals do not risk their reputations by claiming sexual abuse unless it actually happened. Martha had far more to gain by remaining silent about the abuse. I've heard her vilified by Mormons, as if they knew it wasn't true/just like they know the church is true... =[

My personal opinion is that I find recovered memories to be so suspect that in my mind they would taint otherwise legitimate evidence (regular memories and physical evidence.)

IMO for molesters, the best evidence is corroborating evidence from someone else, since abusers seem unable to restrain themselves from molesting multiple times.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My personal opinion is that I find recovered
> memories to be so suspect that in my mind they
> would taint otherwise legitimate evidence (regular
> memories and physical evidence.)
>
> IMO for molesters, the best evidence is
> corroborating evidence from someone else, since
> abusers seem unable to restrain themselves from
> molesting multiple times.


That is my position also. I am very suspect of "repressed memories."
I'm also highly concerned that people have been prosecuted on no real evidence but a "repressed memory" that cannot be validated.

But she has actual memories of the molestation that she has remembered since she was that age. Some of her memories were repressed but many of them weren't.

I remember quite clearly having my tonsils out at three. I remember the type of day it was,in the operating room with someone trying to put what I thought was a strainer over my face, being in the darkened wArd that night ant the nurse giving me something to ease the pain and throwing up on my mom's maroon coat on the way home a day or two later. I remember it because it was such a big emotion filled event in a peaceful childhood. This is my earliest memory and it is a very strong one and I verified with my mom how old I was when it happened. I am now a senior citizen. So I believe traumatic events can be remembered from early childhood. Being raped by your father is pretty traumatic.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/05/2015 02:19PM by annieg.

As a child victim of horrific familial sexual abuse (I was 4, my sister was 3) I have difficulty in believing the repressed memory story that Martha tells, especially in that she claims she was 5 when the abuse started and that it continued for three years. As an adult, I have advocated for, and accompanied numerous children who were also victims of sexual abuse through their therapy and counseling sessions. I have not once encountered a child with a case of "repressed memories" - they all vividly remember.

The repressed memory thing is so 'out there' in my realm of experience, I have difficulty believing it, and accepting it at face value.

I have a photographic memory of things back even shortly before my first birthday but anything bad is repressed. Oddly, if told a secret, I immediately forget it. It is a response to prevent myself from telling the secret.

What was going on with Martha is natural, maybe not for you, but for Martha. How her father also got away with his fake footnotes is much more incredible but absolutely true. Long before I heard of her, I was loaned Nibley's book on the BoA. It took less than five minutes for me to note that he had fake footnotes and his reasoning was absurd. Yet, the person loaning it to me - around 1978 - was in awe of Nibley and had studied under him at BYU.

Nibley's footnotes have nothing to do with Martha's so-called repressed memories. Are you claiming that you do not remember anything "bad" happening to you throughout your childhood or adult life?

You probably know more about this than anyone here Polly. Martha Beck has for many years been selling New Age crap which would embarrass most exmormons. Criticism of her stupidity is not well tolerated here because she is friends with Steve Benson who regurgitates this same essay every few months. You are right, repressed memories are largely discredited.

No, I do not recall any. I do recall some things happening to other people. Perhaps nothing bad happened to me. Wait, something bad happened to me as an adult. In a case I was libeled. The worst thing was becoming a Mormon.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/05/2015 11:39AM by rhgc.

Thanks Steve...
I've been a fan of Martha BEck's for years and I find her very believable. Her father on the other hand..... a CULT apologist! Need anyone say more? Lying is all they do.

I have always found it curious how Mormon's will vehemently defend the most inconsistent, absurd, and morally questionable precepts of Mormon doctrine and church history. Until Martha’s disclosures, Hugh Nibley was their #1 their primary spin-doctor, charged with white washing scientific and historical evidence that contradicted church teachings. Members were told to trust this man as their fair minded scholar and defender of truth. Failing to do this put them at risk of “losing their testimony.” When Martha came out with her book, she had to be discredited or testimonies would be lost. She knew this.

I have spent more than 40 years working in child protection, mental health treatment and counseling. I have known more than two hundred child victims and nearly as many adult survivors who have told me about what happened to them. This is what I know about Marth Beck; her story has the ring of truth. Many victims of sexual and severe physical abuse have described mentally leaving their bodies during the abuse. They experience it from a distance. This is called dissociating (adult torture victims also described this). Children can suppress their memories out of pain and fear that if they don’t their world will explode. More often than not, the perpetrator sternly warns the child to keep it secret or something worse will happen and it will be their fault, so the child obeys. By suppressing what happened they can maintain a relationship with the parent. At first it’s denial, then over time the memories become more sealed away, sometimes almost completely, until some event triggers their memory back. Martha did something else that I have seen time and time again in adult survivors; she made a futile attempt to get her father to admit to the abuse. Most victims have a childlike hope that someday their parent will admit what they did and will say that they’re sorry. Who other than a true victim would hope for that? Unfortunately it almost never happens. Hugh Nibley was a great one for denial and truth bending. He was an academic scholar yet he readily denied the truth in his defense of Mormon Church teachings; becoming more famous as the evidence piled up that these teachings were false. I can’t help but wonder what he would think of the Church’s recent admissions about the same things he had for so long been willing to lie about. Surely this is no less disturbing than his daughter’s disclosures. I hope that Martha’s siblings who unison defended their father by denying her truth will find a way to make amends.

Thanks for the insightful piece, Steve. I found that a lot of the physical abuse I received as a child came rushing back to me when I had a son of my own. I realized that I had no desire to strike him, and my memories suddenly horrified and angered me.