I stumbled across the following list on Reddit; it was buried deep in the posting history of a mission companion's son, who is exmo, but his dad and mom, whom I knew well at the Y, are still TBM.

The list serves as a confrontation with TBMs regarding what might fall under the heading of The Mysteries. I've taken liberties with the original because I'm older and darn it, words enjoy me:


mormons don't believe in ghosts but believe in the holy spirit.

mormons don't believe in scrying but believe in seer's stones.

mormons don't believe in casting spells but believe in prayers.

mormons don't believe in crystals or magical enchantments, but believe in consecrated oil and sealing powers.

mormons don't believe in secret naked rituals at midnight but were fine with secret naked temple rituals at noon

mormons don't believe in auras but believe they can read your countenance.

mormons don't believe in dark magic but believe in the power of Satan.

mormons don't believe in conjuring but believe the Devil can be summoned.

mormons don't believe in a coven but believe in quorums and relief societies.

mormons don't believe in hexes or curses but believe in shaking the dust from their heels.

mormons don't believe in elemental beings but believe in a devil with power over the waters.

mormons don't believe in incantations but believe in hosannah shouts, sacraments, and bowing your head and saying yes.

mormons don't believe in seances but believe the spirits of the dead can accompany you communicate with you in the temple.

mormons don't believe in Shamanism but believe in commanding the elements if faithful enough.

mormons don't believe in talismans against evil but believe in CTR rings and garments.

mormons don't believe in astrology or fortune-telling but believe in patriarchal blessings.

mormons don't believe in mind reading but believe in discernment.

mormons don't believe in clairvoyance but believe in revelations.

mormons don't believe in magic but believe in the priesthood.

mormons don't believe you need to love your partner because being faithful mormons is all it takes to be happy in a marriage.

mormons don't believe you can buy your way into heaven but you better pay your tithing if you want to get there.



Got anything to add?

Well. When you put it like that . . . Makes them sound a tad ingenuous as semantic game players. All is in the labeling.

I've tried and tried but the list is pretty complete. And, clever enough to make me chuckle a good bit. So tempted to send to TBM family. Or would that be knife twisting as the truth is stuck in their backs already?

Here's a 'Do Believe':

Mormons do believe in personal revelation but only if the revelation conforms exactly to the teachings of "the brethern"

Can we start an exmo coven?

An RfM coven could never match mine. EOD has applied and is a novice or, as we say, a Coven Ant.