My wife agreed to watch Keep Sweet on Netflix with me. We finished the first episode last night. I stayed up late and watched an episode of Taskmaster just to try and sleep after watching my grandfather.

My grandmother divorced Rulon before WWII but we visited his Sandy compound many times when I was a child. The strange thing was watching people who I'm genetically related to talking about their lives with my grandfather.

One of my half uncles I never met estimated he had over 60 siblings. And the wives of Rulon talking about his being in bed with him in his 80s. Beyond weird. I felt like I was watching a family I never really knew but am genetically related to. I think this might be what being adopted feels like? At any rate I talked with my wife about it.

And I said I dodged a bullet. She agreed but then I asked her if I really did dodge a bullet AKA Warren Jeff's and a crazier cult.

I asked my wife how it would have been if I were in the FLDS with a loving mother, something I've never known. Which would be worse? The abuse I had or that abuse. I don't know. I had just as much as many of them.

Strange. Karma had me either way.

Divorce was really rare back in your grandmother's day. It must have been really bad for her.

I understand your feelings. Thinking about it, you could have been one of the "lost boys."

Actually, this is the saddest part of the whole related to Rulon thing. My grandmother Zola really loved him. It kinda is a reverse Zina thing. Like Zina really loved Henry and left him, Zola really loved Rulon and had to leave him. Zola's father didn't want his daughter in polygamy though he was a child of it and married Brigham's granddaughter who was a daughter of Card who started Cardston wouldn't have his daughter in it.

I'v had more than a few ve4y close friends whom were either exposed to a brother or sister dying when young, or were essentially fatherless or both.

You do actually know what it is like to be orphan-like from what has happened to you.

Was my exposure to Mormo-ism (not a word, accepted) typically creating a situation of essentially feeling just like an orphan?

I now believe it is.

I do know since severe neglect was part of my childhood.

EB, your family background and your childhood have given you deep empathy. You have know idea how much I respect that and treasure your insights.

Deep empathic feelings actually get in the way of true compassion. I hope to cultivate compassion more in my life.


"The second type of empathy is cognitive empathy. This type allows us to recognize the emotions of others without necessarily feeling the emotions themselves. We may identify that someone who has just lost a child is experiencing unspeakable anguish, but rather than becoming immersed in our empathic pain, we cultivate feelings of compassion."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/pulling-through/202206/why-we-may-be-tempted-deny-ourselves-joy?amp



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2022 11:59AM by Elder Berry.

I think you did dodge a bullet.

For many of us, families are mostly an accident at birth.

I wonder. My father chose to pursue and marry a women who never wanted to marry and have children who is so messed up she prayed for him to die so she could get on with her life.