Perhaps the subject should be changed to 'normal friendships'. A friend was scheduled to come to my home to work on a bass clarinet duet which we were going to perform together this fall. He did not show up. His wife called and said he had a massive stroke. It has been 3 weeks since the stroke. I called him yesterday. He is still in rehab. He is a talented professional musician having played in the New York Philharmonic, many Broadway plays and all over Europe.

In our phone call he mentioned he many never be able to play the clarinet again. He is only 55. He said he was thinking of me and wants to compose an original piece for me to play if I am willing. When he said that, I started tear up. He is struggling to regain his life and yet he is thinking of others. I was really touched.

My friendships, or more accurately acquaintances, in the Mormon church were superficial in comparison to an authentic life. I feel sorry for active Mormons whose primary social contacts are fellow Mormons and never or rarely experience such a level of intimacy.

Eric, so sorry to hear about your friend. You’re lucky that you have a friend like him.

I understand your friend's problem
I was a Dixieland cornet player and I lost my front teeth It is frustrating

Mormons prey on the lonely and in the end make them more depressed.

Thats why the fight with loneliness is the greatest foe. If you are never lonely then you won't randomly walk back into a church one day.

Oh, I believe this is true. Though not necessarily conscious.

The LDS people I like are usually those who don't fit the mold. So many Mormons seem incredibly guarded and almost overly tuned in to any differences in others, whether true or inaccurately perceived. What are these people so afraid of?! I get having things in common is a good start. Still, why does it seem so many only want to be around carbon copies of themselves? Things I never understood as a convert..

Yes, my Mormon friends (more acquaintances, really) seem like scared rabbits. They run away from any notion that you haven't drunk the kool-aid. I don't even challenge their beliefs in any way. They just seem alarmed that I know something about the church, but haven't joined. They run hard in the other direction when I even so much as mention Mormonism, even in the most neutral way possible. I don't get it. Even the JWs aren't that afraid of outsiders.

Today's is a different Mormonism. Lone gone are the chest-thumping, eagerly-testifying, look-you-in-the-eye-as-they-crush-your-right-hand Mormons of yesteryear.

Now Mormons feel slightly embarrassed and don't want expose themselves to outsiders. The confident beast is now a cowardly lion.

I am sure that your friend appreciates your support.

I've had friendships where I have not discussed religion or spiritual beliefs for years. There is simply too much else to talk about.

I found that friendships in the church were simply because we were in the same ward or were in callings that put us in the same church circle. I NEVER felt like I could share anything with them that was more than superficial. I became the subject of gossip when my then husband was the bishop and I went to work full time. Oh the horrors that the bishop's wife was working outside the home.

Eric K Wrote:
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> My friendships, or more accurately acquaintances,
> in the Mormon church were superficial in
> comparison to an authentic life. I feel sorry for
> active Mormons whose primary social contacts are
> fellow Mormons and never or rarely experience such
> a level of intimacy.

I couldn't agree more.

I learned about great families from non-Mormons, about true friendship from non-Mormons, and about pure love for art from non-Mormons. Those in the church live shells of lives.

Our non-Mormon friends will ultimately succumb to the ills of mortality, but in many cases they lived fully, richly. What Mormons don't understand is that in their pursuit of eternal life they lose this one.

My parents had as many nevermo friends as they did TBM ones. Our rural community was decidedly non Mormon. Church was a Sunday deal for me

My old friend that i drove to the grocery store yesterday said he thought he had a stroke when he was shopping because he could not remember a thing from yesterday even though i was around him for like 3 hours. He seemed fine today so he may not have had a stroke. He seemed kind of out of it at the grocery store but i honestly have never seen someone have a stroke before so i did not know. He kept asking me to check if one pupil was bigger than the other but i told him they look the same size. Anyways, was kind of a new and crazy experience for me. I do hang out with old people old dog haha. Now that i think about it everyone i hang out with is over the age of 60.

Your friend needs to be checked out by a physician.

Its taken me a while to feel real intimacy and authenticity since leaving religion. I became really narcissistic and dead inside having been in the church and being around narcissists mainly for a lot of my life in that in environment. I do feel that that religion can literally turn any normal human into a non-feeling artificial human pretty easily.

I tried once to invite some Mormon friends and some Mormon friends to my home for a celebration social. The Mormons all ended up at one end of the room talking about church.