Jesus: "Have a seat. This shouldn't take long. I just need to go over some stuff from last time."

Joseph: chomp, chomp

Jesus: "What are you eating?"

Joseph: "They're called 'M&Ms'. They're really good. Here, try some. Just hold out your...Uh, never mind. I'll put them away."

Jesus: "Anyway...following up. You got the memo on hot drinks? How's that going?"

Joseph: "Yep, lukewarm only. People don't seem to mind. They're working on something called 'iced coffee' anyway."

Jesus: "Ok. We may have to rethink that one. What about my second coming? Let's have you REALLY start pushing that."


Joseph: "Well..."


Jesus: "Well, what?"


Joseph: "You see...I thought we were done with that. I've been telling people you already came back. Like, a lot of times."

Jesus: "Are you out of your mind??"

Joseph: "It's just...there was that time in the grove and at the temple dedication and...heck, even right NOW."

Jesus: "This doesn't COUNT!! And neither do all those other times. When I come back again it's going to be a BIG deal."

Joseph: "I just thought...you know, we built you a house and everything. Sorry, I'll tell everyone those times don't count."


Jesus(to himself): "WHY do I always get stuck working with these AMATEURS?"


Jesus: "Alright, don't worry. I'll take care of it. By the way, Joseph...have you ever been to Carthage?"

You see...Jesus has those holes in his hands.
All the M&Ms would just fall on the floor.

I just wanted to clarify that part.

I got the M&M thing. You should see him try to scoop us some water from a stream to quench his thirst.

Love the last line the best, though. That's gold.

Definitely can't get a drink from a stream.
Covering his mouth when to sneeze isn't really going to be effective.

And, for heaven's sake...don't let him play peek-a-boo with your baby. It would freak that kid right out!

Hahah ha

The way I heard it from some dame called Lilly:

"To cut a long story short, one day the Holy Ghost calls up God to inform him that after a long head hunt lasting apparently almost two thousand years since the crucifixion, that he, the Holy Ghost, has finally found someone who can restore the ‘True Church’, the one that Jesus started, back to the earth, since apparently Jesus took his church with him when he got on the tour bus for the last time and rode into the sunset for his induction into the Religious hall of Fame. Don’t tell the Catholics that the real church was taken from the earth after the crucifixion. It could really cause a stir.


"So, cue in Joseph Smith. according to the missionaries, he was a pure and innocent uneducated fourteen-year-old farm boy who went out in the woods so he cold get a vision like everyone else and make some bucks to augment his meager scrying earnings, when the Holy Ghost overheard him and alerted God and Jesus and told them he had found “someone who could make anyone believe anything, no kidding, you’re gonna love this guy,” said the Holy Ghost, so God and Jesus dropped everything and came and appeared to Joseph."

I mean...that's as logical as most of the things I heard in church, so it's GOT to be true!