Since, becoming inactive and leaving the church, I have decided that much of the time it is not even worth saying hello to mormons anymore. I tend to be a kind and friendly person. But, I've reached a point where I am just done!

Again today, I ran into an old mormon friend...friend of my mothers. Who used to visit our house and brag on and on for an hour about her mormon children and mormon life and holiness and we would just listen.

So, I saw her today and wondered if I should even bother saying hi. Or, seeing if she would say something to even acknowledge me since I'm no longer a trustworthy mormon. I'm rather more a gossip worthy apostate.

But, I walked passed her and so bent down and said, "Hello, remember me?" Of course, she remembered my name. But, she and her other lady friend acted so oddly to my friendliness and just brushed me off and away. The old "family friend" who had been leisurly sitting there calmly chatting...immediately had to leave. And I said to the other lady, "I"m sorry. I didn't catch your name." She was just standing there adjusting a napkin. But, the moment that I expected her to say something polite to me...like her name...she just flapped her hand at me and waved it in my face, "Oh, WE HAVE TO GO!" It was such an odd encounter. And once again, a stupid mormon shunning experience of them gaping at me and acting odd. And I'm sure running out with all the little tongue wagging that they could muster between themselves. I was nothing but polite. But, felt like I was putting up with bullcrap again!

Just realized, you know what! I'm done! Mormons maybe so caught up in their little cult rituals, and so barely able to see beyond the end of their own noses that they are just not even worth the bother.

Granted this woman's life has come with all the trimmings a huge clan of children, grandchildren and a lovely house on the canyon hill and on an on. But, I couldn't help but think about the ways I had been more molly mormon than she was ... since it seemed we were comparing. She had all of those things because she worked full time and her husband had his full time career. And she had plenty of parental help with all of those children.

I on the other hand was following the mormon teachings of staying home and being a mother. I didn't have parental help with my children. We had one employed person..my husband working to provide. We could not afford the "works' of mormonism such as the fancy home, vacations and social trimmings that are required by the church.

Just became glaringly apparent to me what the true value of a person is in mormonism. I was never enough. And it was not because I wasnt sacrifice everything to the cult! I did. She didn't. She still wins by monetary default. And I still get treated as lesser.

Really, glad to be out of a cult!

(((Sigh))) I lost a lot of friends when I left. But with my new friends I can engage in loud laughter, beer, cussing, and deep conversations. The Boner.

I hate seeing anyone from our old ward. Since we left they've all been overly nice, even the ones who weren't friendly to us before we left. I almost think it's worse than them being rude.

Say hello. It makes them uncomfortable, "Oh, we have to go". Hell you may just help a fence sitter out.

They sound like snooty snotty b*tches to me.

Sorry you had to deal with them up close and personal like that.

You showed what you were made of, by saying hello to the snobs.

They showed what they aren't made of, by their demeanor.

You practiced the art of kindness. Sadly, they are clueless.

As the last lady was leaving, I just said under my breath "Rude!" Just loudly enough to be heard and noticed. But, not directed at her per se. I no longer care for them to leave without it being noted!

I think our TBM next-door neighbors are scared of me. Any time I take our dog out and the wife is outside with her kids, she hurries them inside. If I'm out front and she comes home, she shuts the garage door before she even gets out of the car. Her husband will at least acknowledge me but always in a sarcastic manner.

I'm guessing that my family has a reputation in our ward as "those scary inactive people." Or maybe they even know me as an apostate somehow. It's just amusing.

I LOVE killing people like that with kindness. Acting like seeing them has just MADE my day and isn't it WONDERFUL and oh my but we've simply GOT to get together SOON.

"I'll be calling you REAL soon!" I gush as I walk away backwards, waving and smiling. And then I snort and giggle to myself as I imagine them eying their phone with the same look they'd give a live king cobra, and jumping every time it rings.

Folks, please don't say you LOST friends when you left the CULT. Friendship doesn't depend on religion, not real friendship. The people you are referring to were NEVER your friends so you did not lose any friends. You lost some gossipy as*hats. No Loss there.

When I left (got kicked out and wouldn't go back) at first I thought I'd LOST friends but then realized that the definition of friendship I grew up with had nothing to do with how they were shunning me.
My mom was so shocked. She thought that CHristians should help their friends when one was having problems remaining in the FLOCK. Then she realized too that the CULT doesn't have a clue of what friendship is.

And whatever you do, please don't get upset over supposedly losing non-friends. Real friends don't care if you drink coffee or pay tithing etc. or even believe in a god or gods. Real friends believe in YOU.

When the one woman said ""Oh, we have to go", I would have said "Oh do they lock the gates of hell at a certain time? Well then you better hurry!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2015 01:54AM by verilyverily.

Bummer. You didn't deserve that. May I suggest that the next time you see them, act as if you stepped into a Hollywood movie, and treat her as () or Marilyn Monroe. Get all excited that you just met this fabulous celebrity, icon , woman of all ages. What would you say to Ms. Monroe? Go up and ask her, are you Marilyn Monroe? Can I get your autograph? Treat her like the special person she thinks she is. When she scurries away, laugh your head off. Shout out loud to the skies, " I am an overcomer." Maybe, just maybe, the experience may jolt her into seeing what a phony she is, and so unlike Marilyn who was a class act and would have stopped to give you a hello and a big hug.

It's interesting that Doxi and I wrote our comments simultaneously and I didn't see her post until after mine went through. Same concept. Whatever role play you come up with to distance yourself from her/their pettinees and keep your dignity intact, go for it?

My middle finger still works just fine.....though it seems to at times have a mind of it's own.

No big change when I left. I do live in a good ward now, but there was some fallout after my husband left us. Now they treat me really well, probably better than they did while I was active mormon. I've been out for over 20 years and still live in the same home.

But those ones I grew up with. Oh my hell. I could NEVER go back to living in my hometown. It is like a spook alley with who I might run into.

There is a link on this site for levels of mormon royalty. I shared it again just a few weeks ago. I sent a copy to my sister who still attends, but only believes because of one small issue, but she goes for her husband. She said she was going to have fun with that list. She said that her husband is mormon royalty and she is considered "fringe." We all are. Still. No matter what we do, what kind of life we lived, we will always be fringe. My gay husband, who lives here again, is still treated like mormon royalty. If you know how to play the game, you're royalty.

Their behavior really does show such a lack of dignity, and compassion. If you have a feeling of love and compassion towards other people, you don't treat them that way. No matter who they are. No matter where you think they are failing. No matter their station in life.


I am looking at her wondering what she thought she saw in my mother. Because, really, my mother was "beneath her" according to her standards. But, I think she just came for the big ego stroking as my mom fawned over her about how wonderful she was and her amazing family and etc. Somehow my mom had passed her inspection. I evidently don't. But, she is about to be fb blocked now by me! I'm done! I can't fawn and bow to her. Don't do that crap any more! I'm as good as she is. I think, after seeing her behavior, that I am better as a feeling human being.

What bad behavior! I'm sorry you were treated that way satan's sister. I completely deleted my FB account and don't miss it at all.

It's easy to find fault with anyone for any silly reason and that's what Mormons do when they gossip about us. If they can't find flaws, they invent them.

But if a Mormon can't measure up, other members can and do make excuses, at least to their face.

Next time ask them what time Sacrement is cause you been feeling like you need to get on back to church.