Well I have been so angry about all these lies I believed, I couldn't take it any longer. I called my good friend who is like a mother to me, and she happens to be Relief Society Pres.

I told her I needed to tell her something. I told her I don't believe our church is the only true church. I don't believe that when we die we need a temple name and handshake. She tells me that she could tell something was wrong with me the past week. She calmly asks me if I have taken my medication? WTF???????? Okay I take anxiety meds once in a GREAT WHILE. Under alot of pressure/stress I can get anxious, who the hell doesnt? And exsp being MORMON??? I told her I DONT need meds, I dont TAKE meds! Iam FINE!! She continues to tell me SHE THINKS I need MEDS! Why, because Iam questioning the church???? Iam PISSED!

I tell her I dont think I will spend eternity popping out spirit babies with my sister wives. She answers that by telling me that since Iam not embracing motherhood, I will be appointed something else to do!!! I have FIVE children, I love them and take good care of them. Doesnt mean I want to spend eternity pregnant! Sorry I will pass!!

I told her I dont believe JS was a prophet. He has lied, he prophecies are false, and he was a con artist. I said he married young girls and sealed himself to other mens wivves. She said there is a reason for that, we just dont know it. She tells me my family is doing good right now, but if I choose to leave the church I will lose ALL blessings! IDK but my time in this church has been hell, it will be a blessing to get out IMO. I said JS claimed there was life on the moon and sun, and there isnt. She said we dont know that?? Cmon????? I also told her that when I prayed about church docterine I get a bad feeling. Maybe thats Heavenly Father letting me know this church is false. She said Satan is tricking me. ALSO- Dont take the Bible serious unless it backs up the BoM. The bible has been translated too many times and contains only half-truths. She told me I need to talk to the bishop. Iam sure she already called him. I deleted my FB and Iam cutting all ties. No more phone calls. I didnt want this to end ugly but for her to treat me like a child and ask me if i took my meds? Tell me that since I cant accept motherhood I will be given a different job in the afterlife????

I knew leaving the church and voicing my concerns but lead to trouble, but I dont know how prepared iam for what is to come. I am very angry and bitter. She also told me that I shouldnt be letting my inactive husband influence me and she warned me he has dark spirits around me. Please words of advice from other people who have been here. I know I am not crazy, I just dont like being treat like Iam. I can think for myself..I wish i wouldve never known about this church. I pray that my kids are still young enough that they will never remember this..And most of all I pray they never will..

Good for you!

Oh, ya, Joseph had some "really good reasons for all those marriage"... we just don't know what they are. Nor did he. LOL

"You'll lose all your blessings!!!"... oh, no, not that! you mean I can keep my 10%, wear cool underwear, have fun with family on Sunday and quit making nativity scenes from tampons on Wednesday nights??

Jesus H. Christ, they just don't have a clue.

Ron

Ron,
JS knew EXACTLY what those reasons were. Every guy knows what the reasons are. wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more

The RS Pres. is the crazy one!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2011 04:20PM by emanon.

Yikes! You are going out with a bang. I'm fading away but I like your way too. It shows where you stand and that you don't buy the lies. I fear conflict so I've let them assume I'm just not valiant.

I read your other post. Could your husband be jack mormon and not apostate? I don't think jack mormons always get along with apostates.

Anyway, the hell with the other people, but be nice to your spouse. I really relate to what you said about your children. I can hear the mormon voices in my head: "but you are leading future generations astray..." BS I'm saving future generations from a lying, controlling, cult.

Bad stuff is going to go down.

It always does when you leave something like Mormonism. You may loose friendships, you may loose family ties. You may loose a lot.

But in the long run, it will be worth it. Your intellectual freedom is worth the temporary pain right now.

I'm happy for you, especially if ti's what you know you want or need to do. It took a whole lot for you to do this. Congrats to you!!!! Also, being told you are surrounded by "dark spirits". Wow, that's like when i cancelled baptism and changed my mind it was "satan" or i was told. Why all the darkness just b/c someone chooses to be out or never in for that matter?? Again, I'm happy for you and we are here for you, as well.

For some validation of what you are and will be facing, look up Steve Hassan's cult characteristics. RSP is showing you classic cult behavior when faced with dissension by a member.

It might get worse temporarily but YOUR LIFE just got one hell of a lot better. Lucky You!

The best advice I ever received was to set your boundaries. They will do anything to kick up dust, to prevent you from disaffecting. You do not have to talk to any one from the church. The best way to end it, is to send in your resignation. I told a friend yesterday, that I left, that Joseph Smith lied and she laughed at me! It is infuriating! Most people have no idea about the true history. You have to be bold with your boundaries.

We know exactly how you feel, have lived through it recently and are sending warm thoughts your way. You WILL make it through this.

We have five (little) kids too. by the way. Ejected the whole family out. We're doing so much better out of the Church.

Here are some "To-Do's" to consider doing with your family now to help ease the transition:

*** Send the Bishop and the RSP an email resigning from all your callings and VT'ing. Tell them: "We'd appreciate being placed on their no-contact list while our family takes a break from church for a while. We do NOT want any phone calls or visits at this time." Then just relax.

*** Sit down with the family and plan out fun activities for the next 8 Sundays. Write them on a great big calendar and put it in the kitchen for all to see. Let the kids pick half and the adults pick half the activities.

*** I'd recommend staying away from any type of church for at least "one month for every year" that you (or your spouse if he was in longer) were involved in the Mormon Church so you guys can de-program yourselves and get back to being a strong, joyful family. (The "one month: one year" really worked well for us).

*** Take a few pages of the kids' latest homework assignments, book reports or pictures and pop them in the mail ASAP to the grandparents. Use a different envelope per kid so they get a lot of mail. That'll be good both for the grands and the kids, and help re-focus attention back on where it should be.

*** Take the kids to Garden Center and let them pick out their own annual flower plant (they're only like $1.99) and let them plant them anywhere they like in the yard or pot in the house. Amazing how they'll focus on that little flower plant! If the kids ask anything about church, just tell them the truth, "Mom and Dad love you. Just like this little flower plant, we want you to be healthy, happy and strong. We're not sure Grandma's church is helping to make us strong and happy so we're going to just spend more time with you right now". Sounded totally dorky, but the kids got the message and were just fine with no church-ish-ness for several months.

*** Go through and de-Mormonize the house. Put all pictures, books, magazines, etc in a box in the garage. If you decide to get it out one day in the future, fine, but for now it'll help with all the anger you're feeling. Ditch the garments into the trash and wear a sundress. Have a tea party (mini marshmellows and chocolate chips on the tiny plates and mini candy canes to stir the tea were a HUGE hit even with my son). Make hot chocolate of coffee and add a tiny bit of different liquors to try them out with your spouse (we were alcohol virgins....).

I hope these simple ideas don't sound too stupid. They were recommended to us and they really helped us to heal from this traumatic experience. Best of luck and keep us all posted.

Rewrite that all substituting David Koresh in place of JS, and make it a person wanting to leave the Branch Davidions and one of the followers trying to keep the person from leaving... And it would all look so ridiculous to any mormon.

Craziness is always so much easier to see when it's someone else's crazy, not your own groups crazy. Too bad she can't see how cultish she sounds.

Good luck with all the havoc that is sure to come your way. It'll all be worth it.

Telling you that will lose all your blessings is an outright threat. Much of the blame will likely be forced onto your husband. Are you still paying tithing? That should be the first thing to go, then watch the blessings from not paying th church roll in.

10% of yer hard-earned money to insult you?

as any arsonist or Boy Scout can will you, you can solve a lot of problems with a simple match and a cup of gasoline.

thanks for choosing the nuclear option.

You are not crazy!! They will attempt to use that in tearing you down and justifying your leav ing. I left many years ago and got our 5 children out in time, but I wasn't strong enough and went back for many years. Be strong don't waste any more of your life in a cult. It will take strength and courage but it is so worth getting out of their control, manipulation and crazy making deeds.

If anyone ever wants to know what true character is hiding behind those fake smiles and robotic pleasantries, just try to leave the church.

I hope you weather this storm out. It is temporary though seemingly endless. Once they get the signal to avoid you, it'll be as if they had never known you and you'll be left completely and entirely alone.

It's very normal to be angry about being lied to and cheated as boldly as the Mormon church lies to and cheats its members. It would be abnormal not to be angry. Your RSP sounds like a mindless tool.

Members are perfectly content helping to destroy marriages if it means keeping one of the spouse and the children in the cult.

No offense, but your friend is an idiot. She is just parrotting back the meaningless drivel she has been fed her whole life. And the "are you taking your meds?" comment really makes me mad. She is trying to make you question your sanity. You need some serious boundaries with this woman (IMO).

Tell your friend in the nicest way that SHE is the one who is under Satan's influence. Offer to help her escape.

In other words, make sure YOU take the "high ground."

I'm baffled by how many people think they need to dump their anger on other people and be applauded for it.Get angry, tell someone of, rip them apart for what they hold sacred, or anything else.

I don't get that kind of thinking at all. What happened to civility, keeping private things private, dealing with anger and negative feelings without involving innocent people?

Well, now you've gone and done it, as they say. You can't take it back. Now the consequence of your actions will come flying at you, just like clock work. Probably not going to be pretty.
Oh well.

This woman wants to confide in her friend a secret. Shares that she doesn't believe in Mormonism.

The "friend" then questions the poster's sanity.

The poster then gets angry.

And you have a problem with that?

raptorjesus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This woman wants to confide in her friend a
> secret. Shares that she doesn't believe in
> Mormonism.
>
> The "friend" then questions the poster's sanity.
>
> The poster then gets angry.
>
> And you have a problem with that?


I'm 100% serious. YES YES YES. I have a huge problem with adults dumping hate and anger on people because we are angry and think we are entitled to use other people as a dumping ground. Nobody ever appreciates that!

When we dump our anger and hateful attitudes (especially about religion) on people (we know hold those beliefs sacred),and who are innocent victims, we are, in my opinion, stepping over boundaries and we can usually plan on there being some "backlash" as it's how people normally behave.
It's human nature to fire back at someone who is dumping on them. Who wants that? Nobody.
I say, be a grown up, be more considerate of our friends and loved ones. Some friends might be able to take that kind of onslaught, but it's not likely.

Yes. That's my opinion/perspective/observation after years of watching what happens when we engage in disrespect for other people's beliefs. People don't take kindly to that.
I take the position that we keep friendships by respecting them, all of them, including things we may not like about their beliefs.

Yup. My opinion. And, I'll stick to it as I know what happens when we let loose on people -- especially out of the blue.
I want friendships built on love and trust and loyalty.
Dumping anger on people will destroy all of that.

Hi suzieq, haven't heard from you in a minute.

agreed, and anytime you tell a member of lds church NO whether it be RS, VT, HT, Bishop or whoever it should be accepted/respected. Why can't the church members, i.e. priesthood, etc. accept that and respect people's wishes. Are these members directed by superiors to show so much disrespect whenever you'd said no, how many times.?? "NO means NO"

Nah!
As soon as the RSP (along with all other TBMs) SEE that you no longer believe, (ditching your "callings", falling attendance, etc.), will SEE your disbelief and will be offended, no matter how nicey-nice you are to them. TBMs will take your disbelief as an insult either way. Better to get to the point straight away rather than drag it out and have to face the SAME result later.
However. That doesn't mean that you have to be a jerk.

They will want you to meet with the bishop. Refuse! Do not explain why; just say "no." You owe NO one an explanation, much less a justification, for making a new choice. The bishop no longer has any authority or power over you.

If VTs or anyone else shows up uninvited at your door, do NOT answer the door.

Do not expect any TBM to listen to any of your findings. The Mormon cult has groomed TBMs to believe that only LDS-taught beliefs are valid. This means that no matter how good the friendship was between you and the RS president, it is over now. It is a sudden and probably difficult loss. However, there is not one thing you can do about it; so prepare yourself to accept it. (Know that many of us on the board have had similar experiences of an overnight change with friends and family members, due to our leaving the church.) For TBMs, the church trumps all human relationships. In time, you will develop new friendships with people who value you for YOU.

Mrs. Solar Flare (in her post above) has some excellent suggestions.

As you read people's responses, Trisha, some posts will resonate with you and others will not. Take what serves and ignore everything else!

Trisha, hang in there! It is very difficult. As a matter of fact, I stayed home from work today just so I could cry my head off! I am going through all range of emotion just like everyone here said I would. I have been gone from being extremely happy to very pissed off. Today I am extremely sad. A good TBM friend of mine left me a message stating that his heart was broken and that he didn't want to lose me as a friend. I don't want to lose any friends and I am not out to hurt anyone. However, I am leaving the church and that is that! Utilize your support system! People on this board are extremely helpful.

If this RSP was her friend, why wouldn't she tell her what was going on in her life? That's what friends do. I don't think telling someone that your beliefs have changed is crapping on their religious beliefs.

I don't think it's fair for you to expect everyone to leave the church calmly and quietly. And I for one wish someone had told me about the church's 'real' history before I had invested 35 years, made really dumb life decisions, and given thousands of dollars to the cult... I maybe would have gotten out sooner. Maybe she was doing her RSP a favor.

Thanks everyone for your support. Today has been hell. Last night the missionaries called me and I told them I no longer believe in the church, and I listed the many reasons why. He also had a bullshit answer for every question. What bothered me the most was that he denied that in the celestial kingdom there may be polygamy. He said that is 100% false. He warned me I would regret leaving and I would be filled with guilt. I would lose all blessings. This went on for awhile, it was a waste of time. I just wanted them to know how I felt and they wouldnt change my mind.Oh BTW he came out and said that the RSP was "STUPID and didnt know anything about the church in regards to polygamy in the celestial kingdom". He said mormons that leave the church usually have committed a sin such as adultery. I told him that is wrong!!! I told him the Holy Ghost confirmed to me the church isnt true, and if it was Satan doing this, why would he lead me to the true word of God, the Bible?? Missionary said he has no idea.......I had to use their "pray to know the truth" against them :)

Today the bishop called me a few times. I didnt answer. I wasnt in the mood. I did post a few things on FB that pissed off alot of people. I just cant live a lie anymore. RSP has called me and emailed me asking me if I still want VT, that she is scared for me. I told her I havent had VT in over 9 months so I wouldnt even know if the officially decided to stop, I dont need them. I told her I would pray for HER. Even the bishops wife emailed me a long letter on how she knows the church is true blah blah blah. They are worried about me.

I think my next step is to write a letter and officially leave. My husband is afraid of retaliation from church members. It is what it is. I dont care anymore. I have been a basket case the past few days. One minute Iam okay, the next, not so okay. I know the church isnt true, it is just changing your thoughts and way of thinking. It takes time. tonight DH are going to watch a movie, and he told me he is happy to have a non-mormon wife again :)

Does your husband have dark spirits around him?

If he did, would the RSP really know?

If the answer to both questions is "no" then what are you fretting about?