As mentioned before, I had some issues during my mission with leadership that was intent on finding something wrong with me, since I was an independant soul and not a blind follower.

But here is the interesting part, that I just learned about. So I left the mission field with all the other Elders, we were all told what a great job we had all done. Then of course I get home, am accused of girl issues, prove myself innocent, make leadership admit they were wrong, and I went on with my life.

So I got a letter in the mail this week, an initial only for reference, apologizing for ruining my mission, causing me to be dishonorably discharged, causing issues due to her laughing and talking to me, and mentioned that she had been subjected to harsh name calling and accusations herself.

I can only think of 3 or 4 females I knew on my mission that I laughed and joked with, but did I get the stink eye on every one. But that is all it was, just laughing and joking. Before my mission I had about 6 girls that we went to movies and such together, we were a bunch of friends. So on my mission I more or less did the same thing.

So I am reading this letter, and I almost go livid. This poor gal who only identifies by a single initial is displaying intense guilt that is over 40 years old, apologizing for absolutly nothing of merit. And to boot I find out that I was dishonorably discharged, which explains the piss poor way I was treated by so many Bishops and Stake Presidents.

Better yet, how in the He** did she get my address, and refers to me as "Elder", wow, my mind just exploded.

Now I know how some of you others have felt, I feel really violated and betrayed by that term of "dishonorable", and how the culture of the church as let this innocent person feel intense guilt over 40 years for nothing of merit.

I really do not have an answer, I am just sitting here stunned by the whole thing.

Unbelievable. The leadership of the Mormon church should not be wondering why people are heading for the exits. And how awful of your MP to give you a "dishonorable" discharge after what, two years of service? Nasty man.

What a miserable, sick, twisted excuse for a church. I am sorry that they treated you so. It's a shame that you can't reach that woman and put her mind at rest.

Wow. That's wrong on so many levels.

I think it is possible you were not "dishonoraly discharged" (I think they would have made you well aware had that happened), but her bishop/sp told her that to manipulate her into revealing information about either you or herself, for whatever reasons they might have had.

It does not sound like you were dealing with honorable people, and I wouldn't take anything they said at face value.

Great advice.

I would take "dishonorably discharged" as a badge of honor. It's a sign of sanity.

Most Mormons are about as sane as Brad Pitt's character in "12 Monkeys". So they decided you are not like them. Lucky you.

Perhaps the letter came from someone in the mission or your ward and not a girl after all. From how things happened when I was there, it makes more sense that one of the men is doing it that way to take the focus off himself.

The bishop retained a mental list of members who were not being officially disciplined but were not to be rewarded with callings or even invited to pray. The ph leaders Elders, High Priests, Relief Society and Primary were told not to engage with these brothers/sisters.

As Ward Clerk, keeper of records, they were not formally disciplined as I would have seen it on different levels. Most of the people were frequently discussed at church- maybe they mentioned to another ward member that the church was wrong on social issues- gay marriage was a HOT topic. I served around the time the time GBH issued the Proclamation to World: The Family. That was supposed to be displayed in a highly visible area in the house. I heard that some members refused to display it and it was discussed during Ward Council.

-Silence is Golden

The church maintains a dossier on every missionary. In case you are not familiar with my MTC stories, I was a witness of a sexual assault on a female RM MTC classroom teacher. The church told me to forget that it ever occurred. Additionally, the Provo Temple also took down my name from the church issued nametag when I was being a pest at the temple- I didn't want to do iniatories with the other 3 elders at 5:30 am. The temple workers would not allow me to remain seated in the front lobby. I couldn't sit there alone without my companion- Oh the horror!

At the MTC, I was told along with the other Elder who had documented the incident, that we were being placed on probation for the duration of the 2 year mission. That was a problem for me since my Mom told me not to come home early...period!

The Mission President knew that I was on probation. Even though he was very aggressive and full of contention during worthiness interviews, I was always respectful and submissive. I didn't agree with half of what he said but he was in charge.

I wasn't the top baptizing elder in the mission by any any means, but I baptized around a dozen people (I baptized more- especially the families the sisters taught). And that was my problem at the end: I could not accurately count how many people I had baptized. My lack of baptismal counts caused him to blow up. And he never told me what his record stated. And the same thing occurred during my interview report to the stake council- I was told that my baptismal number didn't match what had been sent by my mission prez. I was told that I had wasted the Lord's time. I was told that I was a slothful steward.

"I was told that I was a slothful steward."

What a nice compliment. You should be glad you weren't praised for messing up so many lives.

bradley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "I was told that I was a slothful steward."
>
> What a nice compliment. You should be glad you
> weren't praised for messing up so many lives.

When I started as a missionary, I was terribly confused. The mission was divided into 3 parts: baptizing, but the other part was called retention/reactivation. And service- actually several hours a week. We were passing out bibles, pictures of Christ. It was different.

By the end of mission it was more about testifying to the truthfulness (Ha!) of the BoM and Joseph. Jesus got put on the backburner.

I reactivated many families during my first mishie year. All of that went to waste as we were told to baptize, baptize, baptize. If you told the MP that you were planting seeds, he blew a gasket and threw something against the wall.

Anyways, two of my dirty deeds involved the creation of 2 church branches. One withered away but the other built a new building and later became a ward <sigh>. I am still seeking forgiveness from you all for that one.