I almost fell. At the time, I was a member of a mainstream Christian church, but very unhappy where I was. My job was also a huge source of stress. A friend, who was a recent convert (and still very gung-ho as far as I can tell), invited me to General Conference and to church. I accepted his invitation and later agreed to start meeting with the missionaries. I found that everyone I met at the LDS church were all very nice people and they welcomed me. The church presented itself as pretty much mainstream and, even knowing everything I had been taught about Mormonism, I thought it sounded Christian. I almost cried watching the Joseph Smith movie, and I knew it was an extremely whitewashed tale. So, what stopped me?

The ward I attended met in the afternoon, so I could still either attend my church or visit another church in my denomination every Sunday. Mormonism could not get a complete hold on me because I had not abandoned my Christian beliefs.

I tend to be a rigid rule follower, but if the rules seem arbitrary, I will rebel. I saw all sorts of arbitrary rules in the Mormon church. It was bad enough that the church told you when and where to attend instead of giving you the choice to attend the ward you felt most comfortable with, but to have the church dictate your underwear?! As far as I’m concerned, it’s none of the church’s business what I wear under my clothes.

The music could best be described as funeral dirges. I totally understand wanting to show reverence, but what’s wrong with upbeat praise songs? If hanging out with Jesus was as much of a downer as the music in a sacrament meeting, He would have had no followers.

I do not believe that the Bible prohibits paid clergy (I won’t get into the arguments now), but I don’t have a problem with the church having members of the congregation speak/give the message on Sunday mornings. However, why not allow the members who are speaking talk about a topic that means something to them instead of assigning the topics? I’ve been involved in Christian groups where members were the speakers and they always picked their own topics and spoke about something that was on their hearts.

The word of wisdom makes no logical sense. Why are coffee and tea banned? It can’t be because of temperature because the iced versions of these drinks are not ok, but hot chocolate is. It can’t be because of caffeine, because soda is ok. There’s no logical explanation.

Murder is unforgiveable. Really? No, I haven’t killed anyone, so this doesn’t apply to me. I tried to argue this with my friend, but he claimed to be too tired to talk about it (he brought it up) and ended the conversation. If murder is unforgiveable, Moses, David (the man after God’s own heart), and quite likely Paul will be excluded from Heaven.

Speaking of Paul, this giant of the faith would likely be excluded from the Celestial Kingdom as he wasn’t married. (There is an argument that since he was a Pharisee and they were generally married, he may have been a widower. If that’s the case, I’ll concede he can get into the CK.) Likewise, as a single, I can’t get into the CK. (Oh, yeah, I don’t want kids either.) For some reason, I don’t think God uses marital status to determine whether someone gets into Heaven. If He did, Christ could not have come back as He never married.

Other churches ask that their members tithe to support the church and its operations. The money contributed stays with the local church and is spent according to the member-approved budget. The church holds regular meetings to account for the income and outflow of funds. Member contributions are recorded solely to provide them with an annual giving statement for tax purposes. The two mainstream churches I’ve been involved with also earmark 10% of their budgets for outreach/missions. It’s like the church’s tithe.

Pushing temple marriages and then excluding anyone not worthy from attending seems more like a family-destroying action than a family-building one. It also seems like emotional blackmail to get people to convert to Mormonism if they want to see their loved one get married.

The temple is “sacred, not secret”? I think it’s just secret. By comparison, Catholics believe that communion is so sacred that non-Catholics cannot receive it during mass. However, non-Catholics can still come forward and receive a blessing from the priest during this part of mass, so they aren’t left out. There’s nothing secret about this part of mass.

The missionaries didn’t want me to research the church on my own. That was a huge red flag. Then I found this site and others.

These are just some of the reasons I didn’t convert. I did ultimately leave my original church for the other one in my denomination. The messages and the music are upbeat and the pastor understands that I’m very burned out right now and asks nothing more of me than that I show up on Sunday mornings. I will get more involved as I feel ready, and he isn’t asking for anything more.

I'm so happy you didn't sink or drown in this. You stayed afloat and did take note of some of the happenings w/the mormon church. I almost dived in, as well, and committed 2 times and backed out. Started researching. Temple rituals REALLY put fear into me. Then started researching mormonism further. (Presbyterian, by faith) Then I began reading this site as well as get advice. There is/was soooooo much that wasn't informed/displayed @ first to myself. I've learned so much since going on this site and as well as reading. They came across as this religion being "painted w/roses" and the "roses never dying,not having thorns,etc" After coming to senses, I remembered always being told "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". Now, it all seems so weird & bizarre. And then seeing what all fo these former members of lds have endured. It literally puts chills on you. So many of them have endured so much. So myself, still Presbyterian here. I do realize all different denominations have somewhat their own beliefs/rituals, etc. but in presby., you are not stalked, harassed, invaded upon, etc. From what i gather from former member, inactive members and people who have never been but aqquainted w/lds members you'll be glad w/your decision.

Baptist

Thanks for posting your process. It is very important for the BICS (Born In Covenants) and TBMS (True Believing Mormons) to read what smacks the newcomer as odd or incongruous. Because they've heard it all their lives, it doesn't seem weird to them.

And it is sooooooo weird.

Anagrammy

PS. What is the church outlawed brown shoelaces as a sign of faith? See?

Brown Shoelaces?

Yeah, this is what I started finding out when I thought of joining the Mormon church. The missionaries who visited me sure didn't tell me most of what you've learned, so I decided to start researching it myself. The rampant discrimination and the temple wedding is what did it for me. No way in hell will I exclude my family from my wedding.

And also, myself, I take it once you commit, they don't hear NO too well. I couldn't imagine once becoming a member b/c my observation shows that they ALL harass, intrude, literally & aggressively pester you to no end. Not only do you have the missionaries to contend with, if you're no longer interested (inactive,signed out, etc.)it appears as if they come out of woodwork. Bishop, RS, VT, Missionaries, etc. ALL come around you. In all honesty, I don't see how anyone can stand it. NO means NO. Almostfell you definitely dodged a very aggressive bullet.

From what I've read on this site and others, the mishies will probably take some heat for failing to convert me. I fear that my friend will as well. He had offered twice to take me to a Mormon holy site (I live in the Mormon holy land of Missouri), once in front of the mishies and his former bishop, but failed to follow through. Will they blame his failure for my refusal to convert? (He does need to learn a lesson about following through as he is terrible about this, but it shouldn't be because they think he's responsible for my eternal damnation.) In a way, he is partly responsible for my refusal because I saw the change in him after he converted and even more so after his endowments. He has become a very repressed shell of his former self. I didn't want that for me. I don't want it for him either.

I have do admit, though, that so far I've taken the coward's way out and have simply stopped coming. I need to tell him that I'm not converting. Interestingly, I got my answer through prayer. I asked a question similar to JS's, "God, what church do you want me to go to? Where do you want me to be?" The answer I got is the church where I'm attending now. I'm not sure how the Mormons will react to that explanation.

You know you state your friend is basically a shell of himself. I'm sorry to hear that for you as well as your friend. You know all of the arrogance, aggressiveness that comes w/so much of the priesthood and then to hear how they manipulate their members, investigators, etc.People on this board, it's not that it only appears the members are meek/umble and then the priesthood is arrogant, is it?? He's in a shell of his former self but, from gathering what I've acknowledge from people on this board, the priesthood are like "peacocks" per say. I'm definitely not extremely knowledgeable but I've learned more here than the 4 mos. the guys were coming by. And yes, your prayer sounds very much as if it was answered. I know, myself during my investigating the church, I asked for guidance, as well. Being from a large fam. and being from deep south, lds isn't nearly as prominant as in the west, etc. I couldn't imagine family all being lds. and then trying to not be of the lds faith.

Of course they are "nice" initially - They want something from you.

Had you joined, you'd be cleaning their toilets tomorrow. Plus they want your money and any kids you can breed for them.

That's how cults operate. Glad you got informed before you joined up.

The internet is doing to the Mormon church what Martin Luther did to the Catholic church LOL.

...it is impressive that you "caught on" so quickly.

IMO the most striking evidences were:

1) “The missionaries didn’t want me to research the church on my own. That was a huge red flag.” As it should have been. Glad you realized this!

2) And what you said about your friend: “He has become a very repressed shell of his former self.” That is creepy but unfortunately typical of the effect cults have on people.

Welcome to the board. Hope to see more of your posts in the future!