I too felt like I needed to be open and up front with friends and family about my disaffection in the church. Also, I didn't want to be accused of sinning or being weak, like I couldn't make it as a Mormon. Ha ha.

If you are interested I will share what I did and the outcome. ;)

Also, here is the link for the somewhat disaffected Mormons at Baby Center:

http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6720357/mormons_more

I know people here rag on Baby Center but a lot of the ladies there are in a similar position as you. Some are even military wives. I also post there and would be happy to answer any questions as well.

Thanks for the info, I appreciate it!

Yes!!!!! Please share your story with me. I love hearing stories about how people left the church.

Exmollymo, are you a military wifey too??

Yes! I'm a homemaker and DH has been active duty for 10 years.

I tried to show my DH the BoA video online, but the streaming was terribly bad and didn't work for us. I'm sure he though it was divine intervention, but I think it was high traffic.

I'll be sure to share my story when I get to that point, but I have no idea when that will be.

Thanks for the info, it's helpful.

Me too! My hubs is AD for five years...where is he stationed?

For the sake of anonymity I would prefer not to disclose the base, but I do live in the state of Oklahoma. I've heard that members come here to dig up dirt on others. I want to come out on my own terms and no one else's.

I will add that I love being a military wife, my DH is enlisted, and has been gone a LOT the past two years. We feel very blessed to have had the life experiences that the military offers (like traveling...we love visiting new parts of the world). We have lived overseas in the Pacific and would love to go back or possibly over to Europe.


What area are you in? What's your background with the church. Were you once a TBM like me?

Sure thing! Here's my story. It's posted on the front page bio board so I'm recopying it here. Ironically I was also in the RS presidency when we left, 2nd counselor, and my family was one of the very active ones.

I felt like I couldn't just "disappear" you know? Plus, I had been the one trying to reactive all the other lost sheep just weeks before. :0)

My hubby at the time was the gospel doctrine teacher and we had all the ward members' email addresses on hand and we had lived in that ward for about four years, so we knew almost everyone.

Anyway, I wrote out a letter one night from a place of hurt and confusion and I knew I needed to send it. I sent it to everyone I knew in my ward as well as all of my other LDS friends from every state we had previously lived in: Nebraska, Colorado, Georgia, Arizona, Utah. So here it is:

FINDING OUT THE TRUTH

I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. After taking the missionary discussions and with the support and
prompting of my friends and a few family members I was
baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter
Day Saints at the age of 14. It was a time of great happiness
but also of heartache. I radically changed my life in order to
join and conform to the church. This was not an easy decision
to make. Being the only member in my family had its share of
challenges and I had to put the church before my family in
many instances. I have always been the "black sheep" of the
family due to my conversion but I felt this was all justified
because I was part of the one and only true church, as I was
taught.

After being baptized I did everything I was supposed to do to
be considered a worthy and faithful member. I followed the
word of wisdom (no smoking, drugs or alcohol), didn't date
early, attended all my meetings and accepted all callings
given to me. I enjoyed the close bonds I quickly developed
with friends in the church. I loved seminary and served in the
seminary presidency during my senior year. I did whatever
was asked of me and I had no problem with it.

Shortly after high school I met my soul mate and best friend
and we were married in the temple. It was a beautiful day and
I was grateful for the love of close friends and ward members
that attended our wedding. The only family that we had
attending was my mom. She is not a member of the church
so she had to wait outside for us until the ceremony was
complete. Again, at the time I felt that it was worth it and that she would eventually join the church if I continued to be a
good example of its true teachings. Then we would all be in
the temple together one day with the rest of our family.

Fast forward seven years and we now have a child who is our
little miracle. We are part of an LDS congregation with good
friends and a lot of support. Until just recently I was serving in the Relief Society presidency and my husband was the
Gospel Doctrine teacher. We did our best to make sure our
lessons were well thought out and insightful. It was during
preparation for a lesson regarding church history, doing
some research online, that we gradually came across some
startling information that had been left out of our church
manuals entirely. It appeared as though great measures were
taken to cover up the authentic history of the church. We were
not expecting what we found.

Upon uncovering these facts it became impossible to believe
the claims of the church. The things that I was taught were not
correct. I was devastated. How could this be? How could I be
misled this way, and for so long? How could I give so much of
my time, talents and 10% of my income without knowing the
truth? Why couldn't it all be consistent with what the church
leaders said? That would make everything so much easier.
Unfortunately for us, there were too many wrongs to possibly
make a right out of this situation.

I won't go into specific details of our findings unless it is
requested as I am aware that many would rather not know
information that may be upsetting. If you are happy with your
faith as it stands as a member of the LDS Church I would
highly recommend not looking too deeply into church history
or doctrine. I only say this because I was so caught off guard.
You will very likely have a trial of your faith if you choose to
pursue any more than what is in the manuals. Personally I am
happier knowing the whole truth rather than the half truths and
fabrications I was told, but that is not the case for everybody.

Throughout this discovery I have felt hurt, betrayed, used,
abused, extorted and sick to my stomach. Leaving the church
is not going to be a simple journey for us. It is definitely not
the easy way out. We have so much to sort through and to try
to understand. We still have a basic belief in God but all of
the things that we claimed to "know" before are up for
question. It is not a comfortable place to be, but there is no
going back.

I am writing this in full disclosure so that I no longer feel the need to avoid the questions when others from church ask
where we have been or wonder what we are up to. This is
also an attempt to support the fact that we have done nothing
wrong but have merely stumbled on some truths that we could
not reconcile. As one president of the church said, "Each of
us has to face the matter-either the Church is true, or it is a
fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the Church and
kingdom of God, or it is nothing." - President Gordon B.
Hinckley. "Loyalty," April Conference, 2003.

In my view it is not right to baptize someone into a church
without giving them an accurate history of that church and
what it teaches. For some it may be possible to discover all
of the skeletons in the closet of the LDS church and still
remain a faithful member. If my husband and I were the only
ones involved we might be able to play along and pretend we
didn't know what we know. But the fact is we cannot
consciously lie to our child and cause him the hurt and
confusion that we now feel.

I am aware of where the church stands on apostasy. I also
understand that many of our friendships will be lost or
severely damaged as a result of us resigning as members of
the LDS church. That is not something I am looking forward
to but I have to do what is right for myself and my family. If you too have these concerns, have any questions or need a
friend, I am here and understand what you are going through.

***This letter was sent to over 200 LDS ward members,
family and friends.***

Don't know why it came out that way...

Wow...sent out to ward members? You should be proud. And if they shun you as they will, just know those people are not real friends. They only liked you because you were toeing the line like a good little Mormon should. You didn't know them really. They were fakes. Genuine friendship can withstand any surprising personal decision of a friend that does not involve them. Normal people say "Gee, that is surprising", but then go on as before. Mormons don't do that. They make this matter involve them when it shouldn't.

Great letter! May I borrow some phrases and personalize it for myself? So what happened next?

Yeah definitely, feel free to use whatever you want! Be sure to share your letter here too. :)

Well, next my bishop threatened to excommunicate me! Here is a bit:

"I have received many emails and phone calls concerning your emails to sisters in the ward. The first email was borderline inappropriate. The consecutive emails were forms of apostasy that included comments against the church and links to anti-Mormon sites. This is a firm warning that any further comments about church doctrine, comments about church history, and any form of encouragement towards ward members or non-church members to question church doctrine will result in excommunication from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Days Saints."

And:

"I want you to do what is morally correct and destroy all church data, including phone list, ward members records and addresses, and especially email addresses. These were only intended to be used for official church use."

My favorite part:

"I will keep you in my prayers and will always hope that the feeling in your heart will someday be more important than the knowledge in your mind."

Yes, he REALLY said that! Well things didn't go over well with him at all and he set out on a mission to make sure that everyone in the ward avoided us as we were "lost" and "confused" now. I got a lot of e-mails and many people wanted to know about what I found out. I sent links to those who really wanted to know. I was able to help a few people on their way out of the church but I also lost some close friends in the process.

I found that the friends I had other things in common with besides church were able to remain friends with me, or people who I had known a really long time. The other people didn't feel it was worth the effort or uncomfortable feelings it caused them. Sad but true.

Would I do it again--yes! It was the only way I felt like I could be honest with myself and true to who I was. I was very vocal as a Mormon and I still remain vocal as a former Mormon. It's just who I am. I don't expect that all people would feel that need but some of us do.

I also had my husband on my side though and I think that made a huge difference. He was hesitant at first, but I just kept showing him everything I was reading--and the nail in the coffin for him was seeing the Book of Abraham video. He couldn't deny the facts. It was tough and we are still "recovering" but now we are both out together and it is so much better. Good luck getting your husband on board. It is so worth it. Your kids will thank you later!

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It will give many other people courage.

Thanks summer! I appreciate you saying that.

Can you post a link to the BoA video? I want to watch it and send it to a friend of mine. The BoA was the catalyst for my leaving...

Sorry had to get the kids to bed... Here are a few links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcyzkd_m6KE video


You can also go here and watch it and also request a free copy of the book that goes along with it:

http://www.irr.org/mit/book-of-abraham-page.html


Here is the book the video based on:

http://www.amazon.com/His-Own-Hand-Upon-Papyrus/dp/0962096326

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=hcyzkd_m6KE


Hope this works, otherwise search for BoA video on YouTube.

Thanks...I found so many I didn't know which one you were referring to, so thanks for the link!