I had trauma going through the temple. It basically taught me molestation was okay and so was conformity to the point of doing things you don't understand because your religious authority said it was special and especially what God wanted for me. Though it freaked me out and I felt like I was in a B grade horror movie come to life I gave it more respect than listening to my doubts, feelings, and rational thought - just like being violated mentally where skepticism is considered sinful.

So today if a young member goes through the temple is it as traumatic? I don't know. At some point in evolving these things could get to be non-abusive. I have doubted that would ever happen. I mean interviews with young children for entry?

But I'd like to know other's thoughts. I believe it is still abusive but is it still in your thoughts? Are there people here who never thought it was?

I was relieved it was over the first time. I tried for a few more times to find anything valuable in it and I didn't. I quit going. I went through the first time in 1984 and I went the last time just after 1990 as my husband wanted me to see the new movie. I knew deep down there was no way that ridiculous thing was anything holy.

I've said that my therapist and I were talking about this stuff last week. He said how did you not think it was you that was the problem. Same thing with blessings I got over my gay boyfriend--why was I not understanding or getting an answer. I knew deep down what type of person I was and I knew it wasn't my problem.

The whole church and what they did to me was TRAUMATIC. The temple was ridiculous. I can't believe they have so many people who still go to the temple.

My daughter found parts of it to be a problem and while she was anti mormon, I had told her all about the temple and she still had to talk to her dad about it afterwards. AND SHE HAD ALL THE INFO up front.

I think for those that accept the church "hook line and sinker" really want it to be true and therefore maybe don't feel so traumatized by the temple, especially the first time through.

My dad was like that. His dad, my grandfather, wasn't religious and per my dad, he questioned why there were no prophets/ apostles in his day (1930s and 40's) like there were back in Jesus's time. That question stuck with my dad.

Fast forward a few years and my dad runs off and joins the army near the end of WW2, against his dads wishes. His dad was in WW1 and knew the horrors of war and didn't want his son charging off to fight, maybe never to return.

So my dad joins up and while he's there, in either basic training or officers training (he ended up a Lieutenant), his dad dies of a heart attack. So now my dad feels horrible for joining and his dad dying after he joined.

My dad was stationed in Hawaii for a while and while there, met a guy on a park bench. I don't know what they chatted about but the guy say's "something tells me I should get to know you" and tells him about the mormon church....with prophets and apostles, and saving your dead non-mormon family and ancestors!

Oh the joy! My dad now believes he has found the true church and it has the answers to his dads questions....AND, my dad can now play savior to his dad and bring him into the fold and be reunited in the CK, thereby redeeming himself of his dads death and ensuring his posterity's place in heaven.

For a guy like that, I imaging the temple experience went unquestioned and may even felt right. He was ready to do anything, including having his throat slit and bowels spilled out. I'm sure he thought that was just fine given his desperate need to have the church be true for the above mentioned reasons. I never asked him about it when he was alive.

Contrast that with a guy like me, a kid who when told what the church was and it was now my life...unconditionally and forever...I was freaked out and scared and was wishing I hadn't been born into the family I was born. As I went through the motions, I always felt that I could not follow the church and still be doing the right thing. I had no fear about rebelling and found it actually gave me some power to just say "I don't believe it"....what could they do?

At 13 my parents let me wander, figuring I would return, so I went completely inactive and did what ever I wanted, always being careful to not get caught at certain things....I did pretty well at that.

Then at 22 I decided to get serious about life an ended up getting back in the church. I met a nice group of young adults in the city I was living at the time and it just fell into place.

So I end up going on a mission and honestly, when I went through the temple in 1983 and made the same promises my dad did, I freaked out. What the hell was I promising!?!? Throat and bowl slitting? No one mentioned that before I did it. I wanted to leave right then.

So yes, it was terrifying. But, at the same time, that inner kid kicked in and I thought...I'll just go along with it for now and if I ever don't want to keep doing it, I won't! As soon as I allowed myself to feel that, I wasn't so freaked out. I knew I could dump it if I ever wanted to. I wasn't scared about leaving the church and breaking my covenants because if I ever learned the church wasn't true, then the covenants had no binding effect on me. It was like an experiment of sorts for me....try it on and see how it fits.

Within a couple years of returning from my mission, I learned enough to know the church wasn't what it claimed and left again, this time for good. I was halfway through my engineering degree at BYU, so I laid low and finished up and got the hell out of Utah.

My dad was totally bummed out when I told him, but what could he do? I was 30 by then, had my own family and was starting my career. He said he would respect my decision and a day later showed up at my house with church books thinking if I read them I would return. I asked him if this is how he was going to respect my decision and he got a sheepish look and realized he crossed a line.

A few years later we were talking about the church and I was pointing some of the discrepancies I learned about. I pointed out that he got to make his own decision to join the church or not....why didn't I deserve the same, regardless if my decision was not to? Why did his decision transfer onto me and negate my right to choose for myself? I think I got through to him with that one. he didn't fuss about it after that.

So I think it just depends on the person and how bad they want it to be true. If you want something bad enough, you'll overlook all the warning signs.

I never took the whole thing seriously. After the first washing and anointing event just before my mission. I quickly got dressed and thought to myself that there was no way in hell that I would allow that again. Although the church tried to get me to volunteer to do that on the upcoming temple night in priesthood meeting .... nada, no way. I think those open showers in the downtown mission home were just as bad as that anointing crap. I also hated gym class with a passion for the same reason of those group showers. But I will admit this, if I had a chance to replay those type of events, I would have been in some office often for my telling leadership what they could do with themselves. So for me, I felt abused by more than the church when it came to my body.

The dicing and slicing of ones self, I always thought to be foolish. I just went along to keep everybody happy. I followed procedure perfectly, everybody thought I was on board. But I never was, and never found the answer in the temple. I finally realized that regardless of what was true or not. I had done all the covenant type stuff, false or not. I just stopped attending. If there is a God out there, it is highly unlikely that a supreme being would be so petty.

I agree with Roy, it just depends on the person and how desperate they are in finding their version of truth to calm their fears.

Those who went through before the 1990 change and recognized what a shit show it was were lucky.

I KNEW that it didn't come from the ghawd I'd imagined in charge of the world.

And if it DID...  to heck with him.

It helped make for a fun, easy mission.

Makes me wonder what kind of person old school temple roots works for and speaks to?

Get naked. Get anointed. Watch a boring video. Give hand signals in a white shirt and toga. Sit in an ornate lobby for a few minutes.

It is like an anachronistic weird corporate training without the food.

I think many young people have greater access to information. I would like to think that they don't take the church covenants and oaths very seriously.

    

The church could really streamline with click-through covenants.