I knew Pres Ballard when he was Mission President plus also met his wife. She had to be special because he sold Ford Edsel's (LOL).
Well she passed and he is upset. My wife passed 7 years ago from ALS. I believe that President Ballard who is a Prophet, Seer and Revelator is having no answers!!! He is suppose to be closer to God than me. But he is having trouble adjusting to death of a loved one and getting answers.
I grew up in the church, I was active in the Church. I had a testimony of the gospel. BUT I found no comfort in the gospel, or in the church when my wife passed. It surprised me. After about 3 years I started to go to a community bereavement group. I then started to get a better understanding of why I was having difficulty. I had done so much temple work for the dead that I was desensitized to death. Then death became real. I often wonder what is happening to my wife. I have no answers. I believe this what Elder Ballard is experiencing. No answers and he probably thought he had them. As a result he probably can not express that concern as people know he talks with God!!!!
Bottom line. Reality is experiencing its ugly head and Russ is finding out the gospel does not have answers.

What a platform to express grief. And this from the people who sell eternal marriage like they know stuff after death.

He went to the Celestial room and she wasn't there?

Russ is human after all. Who knew?

There are at least two of us on the forum who were not allowed to mourn, and thus process, the death of a loved one. I was put into an LDS foster home when my mother was suffering from lung cancer. Right after hearing of her death, my foster parents wanted me dressed and off to school. "Members of the church don't mourn! We know that Heavenly Father needed your mom on the other side of 'the veil.'" To this day I've not been truly able to process her death, made worse by being thrust into the foreign world of actively practicing Mormonism, something that my backsliding family never did.

That is just abuse, plain and simple.

In addition to being abusive, sayings that members of the church don’t mourn is rejecting the Bible. “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in the Bible. Paul said to “mourn with those who mourn.”

I served as a missionary under Elder Ballard in the Canada Toronto Mission from 1975-1977 and have attended many of the yearly CTM missionary reunions held the Friday before October conference at his old home ward off of Foothill in SLC.

I was there last fall as he mentioned the loss of sister Ballard and how hard it was being without her. He made a comment that was quite stunning to me (I'm sure it was to many others who were there as well). As near as I remember he said that "he hoped sister Ballard had not found another man on the other side and that he hoped she was behaving herself, although we don't know for sure what goes on on the other side."

I have been a non believer for many years but have enjoyed going to these reunions and was quite taken back by this comment from someone who as an apostle should clearly know what goes on after we pass on from this life.

Or he should pretend to know, right? As part of the protocol.

Truth is, no human really knows.

And what if in fact there is nothing?

I have come to the conclusion that all of my energies should be focused on making the best of the here and now.

That doesn’t mean “bucket list”.

It means helping other people.

You're right, no one really knows what is after death.

I got in trouble, Catholic school, when the the story of Lazarus was being taught/discussed.

Supposedly Lazarus experienced heaven briefly before he came back to life. It was taught it was the most wonderful place nothing like anything in this world.

But he was guaranteed he was going there in the next life.

I got ridiculed and mocked by the teacher when I asked, " if heaven was so great and he was guaranteed of going there, why didn't Lazarus just hurry up the process and commit suicide?"

Never got a straight answer.

It’s about procreating, isn’t it?

Russell M was a good friend of my parents.

This clearly indicates that Ballard does not know what goes on in the other side. This from a man who sits besides God's prophets, had his 2nd anointing, associates with all the temple presidents, etc. If he knows that families can be forever he would never make that comment. If he knows what the churches teaches, she is on the other teaching people the gospel.
He can not talk to Dusty because Dusty and his children said he was depressed after his first wife died and so he got remarried within a year because he was lonely. If Wendy was his choice what does that say about his first wife!!!!Wait Rusty, you are still married to your first wife. She is just in a different room. Again its what these guys do not say what is important.
Like I said it was shock to me to not get any comfort in the gospel teachings, or the belief I have in Jesus or the support I got from church members (none) I hope that my wife still loves me if there is a life after this. I hope my dogs still want to be with me now they have crossed over. The only signs I have from my wife are finding coins in the strangest places and having birds surround me when I am out on the trails. From my bereavement group this is very common to get messages like this from the deceased. But I suppose after this past conference we are to go to the temple!!!!
Bottom line, these top guys do not know.

No, bottom line is that they are human enough to feel the pain of separation from a loved one. Believing in some future reunion does not change the sadness off the now for the one left in the reality of the emptiness.

My problem with church leaders is that they not only lacked empathy but also showed no genuine sympathy. Granted I wasn't looking for pity.

My longtime pet (family dog of 12 years) passed away while serving a church mission. 3 days later I was informed that my only grandparent had passed. I was overwhelmed with grief. My mom made it very clear that she did not want me to come home for my grandmother's memorial service. An older sibling insisted that I return to pay respect to my grandmother; and was willing to PAY round-trip airfare. The church does not pay airfare when you leave (for any reason) early.

My mission president called me; not to offer any condolences but to reiterate the church's position and policy. First and forefront was the mantra that my grandmother would now have the opportunity to have her temple work done while waiting in spirit prison. I was told that if I had belief or testimony in the church, then I would not be sorry or sad, but thrilled that her assignment on Earth was complete. I was told to suck it up and get busy "doing the work."

Then the mission president told me what he really thought of me. -Elder Goop, you are free to leave and go home to your family. I will make the arrangements if you so desire. But I want you to know that if you choose to go home then I will not fight for you to return to this mission. And I will recommend that you not be worthy to return to serve anywhere. Make no mistake that I can do that.

I made the decision to stay, but looking back I most certainly did nothing wrong. This was within the first year of my mission and save for witnessing an elder sexually assaulting an MTC teacher, I was making an effort to follow the mission rules. Later, I fucked up by taking a mission vehicle to buy food on fast Sunday.

I always felt the church did its best to suppress normal human emotions.

Russ now sells the religious equivalent of Edsels.

This is a topic that probably is important to all of us. We have all lost. Toronto Boy, I am not sure anything typed can match what you went through, and go through. The one thing I have learned is: it will be OK, is window dressing. M. Ballard has learned. Prayers and scriptures are of little comfort.

As Mr. Ballard now probably knows firsthand, there is absolutely no knowledge about what happens after death other than what happens to the physical body. All religions can offer us (and I made special note of this after my Roman Catholic mom's death) is a system of rote prayers that may, or may not, assist one in continuing with his/her life. Personally, I have not found these rote prayers and sayings to be of any help during the grieving process, but I can also tell you that there are people who desperately need to rely on these processes to keep them going.

What really helped me was doing the things I liked to do coupled with shedding a few tears when I needed to. I still miss my mother (I was a lot closer to her than my father), but, as one of my mom's longtime friends told her after my dad died, "It gets easier over time." It sure has for me.